Eh…

People have been dying like crazy around here. It’s a really sobering feeling when people you were cool with and interacted with regularly are just suddenly gone due to some nonsense.

Besides that, nothing much is going on.

Let’s see…Friday night I went out with some coworkers and inadvertently got drunk out of my mind and spent most of yesterday throwing up. I don’t know why I do that to myself. I didn’t mean to get so wasted. I shouldn’t have been drinking on an empty stomach for one. For two, I just obviously had too many damn drinks.

After spending most of the day sick as a dog, I wasn’t exactly up to going to yet another bar, but my homie rented part of a bar out to celebrate his birthday and it’s been on my calendar for a while and I didn’t want to blow him off due to my own foolish actions, so I got dolled up and went to hang out. Good times. I had one drink for the night that he begged me to have with him and that was that.

Fucking Mr. Smooth…he’s throwing a party next month which he made a Facebook event for. It’s not specifically a party for him but a general event he’s involved with planning I guess. I RSVP’d that I’d be attending. He sent out a mass message to all the RSVPs about tickets. I wrote back and asked how much they were and he didn’t answer. I guess that means he doesn’t want me to come. He probably didn’t realize I was on the attending list. What an ass. OH but I’ll be there. My friend Renee had already picked up tickets for me and her without me even mentioning it to her. I guess it’s meant to be.

She mentioned the other night that when she went to get the tickets from Mr. Smooth, he met up with her with a chick he introduced as his “girl,” and from the description I assume it was this same Marie chick. So I guess that means he fancies himself to be in an actual relationship with this girl. It really doesn’t bother me much at this point though. I’m really like 95% over him.

Pretty Ricky and I appear to be on normal friendly terms again. We managed to have a conversation at work 2 weeks ago. How nice.

Six months and counting since I’ve gotten some. I’m really hoping to break this dry spell soon, it’s getting a little ridiculous.

Yellowtail came over the Friday before last and chilled with me. He came bearing gifts too – a bottle of Belvedere vodka and a Chik-fil-A nugget meal. I love gifts. Nothing romantic occurred though. I’m just not really attracted to him like that.

I went to a party on Wednesday night and met a cutie there that I hung out with for most of the night. I’d seen him before and I know his brother, but I’d never met him or talked to him before Wednesday. He bought me drinks and then afterward he, his cousin, my girl, and me went to a diner for some food. We had fun. He’d asked me to hang again Friday night but Thursday I didn’t hear from him and Friday I spoke to him briefly to congratulate him on an accomplishment I was privy to and he thanked me but not a word after that. I asked him later when I was heading to go meet my coworkers if we were still going to drink and he didn’t answer. So I guess that’s that. He’s married anyway, so no biggie.

A guy I’m cool with revealed to me the other day that he has a romantic interest in me. I’ve known him for a couple of years. Nice guy and all buy never thought of him like that. I was honest and told him he’s in the “friend zone.”

If someone I actually like could like me back one of these days, that’d be great.

Well…that’s about it. Nothing exciting.

Here I Am

So what’s new with me, you ask? Well, nothing much. My dry spell is past the 5 month mark now. Blah.

I’d been talking to Zach here and there, but I noticed that it was me initiating most of the contact lately, so I toned it down some. He’d said something last week about some bad news that got him down, but he refused to tell me what was wrong (men!). Since then I hadn’t talked to him much. On Thursday I sent him a picture of “Pinky”, a porn star he likes. A white boy into big asses – imagine that! He thanked me but didn’t say anything else, even when I asked him how he was. So at that point I was like Fuck it.

Much to my surprise, on Friday night, he sent a text to apologize for being out of touch, and explained that he’s been going through some things lately. Again, this is sooooooooooooo different from the Zach I knew a year ago. That Zach never would’ve said anything like that at all, he just would’ve left me wondering. I’m on the fence when it comes to deciding if he really has changed, or is just trying to play nice to get into my pants again…

Never heard anything from Bizzy besides the once or twice we briefly chatted after our outing in August. Oh well.

I’ve started speaking to Pretty Ricky again in passing. Nothing major – “Hello, sir.” His responses are curt and contain maybe even the slightest hint of annoyance, but I don’t care. I’m prone to holding grudges, but eventually I just get sick of them because it just ends up wasting energy. The bottom line is, ignoring someone still requires paying attention to them – maybe even paying more attention than you would be if things were just normal. Fuck it…I’m just so over it.

I even “poked” Mr. Smooth on Facebook two weeks ago. I don’t even know why, it was kind of spur of the moment. Again, I just want him to know that I’m over it. He didn’t respond, of course. I went out after work on Thursday night and thus I was tipsy on early Friday morning when I got in the house. I sent him a message: “Poke me.” He’s probably like, WTF. Again, don’t care. At this point I’m just amusing myself.

Yellowtail is still actively trying to get it. I could see it happening in a moment of extreme horniness, but otherwise I’m cool on that.

Dimples still tries off and on. He’s the most tempting prospect at the moment, but the fact that he keeps asking me how I’d react if he was talking to other women while we were involved lets me know where his head is at. That would possibly just be a hit-and-quit scenario and that’s not suiting my fancy at the moment. Plus it’s kind of a turn off because it’s so arrogant to assume that I’m just going to start acting out because I might see him talking to another chick or hear about him sleeping with another chick or whatever. He’s scared of workplace drama. I think he’s basing some of his reticence off of rumors of occurrences between me and Pretty Ricky. As with most rumors though, some of it is true, and some isn’t. Regardless, nothing ever occurred at work because I knew it wasn’t appropriate. I prided myself on being able to keep my emotions in check at work as a matter of fact.

Work is going okay. Only “okay” because I’m bored in the position I’m in right now. I’m ready to branch out and try something new now. I need a challenge. Right now I’m just going through the motions, waiting for opportunities to get elsewhere…

I read a good book last week: The Time Traveler’s Wife. The movie was on HBO one night and I watched it and thought it was interesting. If I like a movie that’s based on a book, then I try to read the book because there’s always so much left out of or changed in the movie. I enjoyed the book a lot. It’s about a man who has a genetic disorder that causes him to involuntarily time travel, and his wife of course. Slightly science-fictiony which is usually not my thing, but that whole aspect is addressed in a realistic sense. It’s a love story, overall.

Well, that’s all for now. Until next time…

Sex!

Or not. It’s been over 4 months now. At this point I’m going to go on the record and officially declare myself sexually frustrated. It’d be nice to be squirming in ecstasy underneath a hot man right about now but nope…here I am, a hot sweaty mess (I just came in from a run), sitting in front of the TV with my laptop. I’ve been eating a lot of cereal. But Cinnamon Toast Crunch, while a close substitute for sex, doesn’t hit the spot quite as well.

Yummy!

It’s funny…I’ve gone through longer droughts in my younger days (late teens/early 20s) and don’t remember ever being as bothered. I suppose that as I’ve matured over the years and experienced different types of lovers and sex, I’ve become much more of a sexual person. I’ve also learned more about what I like and what good sex really is.

I definitely haven’t gone this long without for lack of opportunity or offers. I’m just being really selective. I’m waiting for someone to come along that I’m into because that always makes for better sex. To have sex solely for the sake of doing it, it’d have to be someone that I already know will do my body good from experience and unfortunately, I’m not on speaking terms with any of those people, such as Pretty Ricky or Mr. Smooth. I’d even do Curly but he plays too many games and it’s not that serious.

Dimples and I continue to flirt heavily from time to time, but he’s already told me he’s only interested in sex and I’m not for being anyone’s bootycall right now. That’s not to say that he isn’t tempting…he has a reeeeeeally nice body…

There’s another guy from work, Yellowtail, that I’ve become progressively more cool with over the past several months. We’d been exchanging flirty texts on the regular, but as of late the conversations have become a little more dirty. I am attracted to him, but I’m still trying to stick to keeping my hands out of the colleague cookie jar. Plus, he’s starting to turn me off because he’s turning EVERYTHING into a sexual innuendo now that we’ve crossed that line, and it’s annoying. I like to play and flirt, but every conversation doesn’t need to be sexual. Serious overkill.

Random pretty cat that followed me around today.

I’ve recently begun talking to Stallion again. It’s not that we weren’t talking on purpose, but after all that drama concerning the Professor situation a month ago, I kept my distance from everyone in that little circle, including him. It’s not like he was reaching out to me anyway. He swears he doesn’t recall Zorro saying anything about me at the lunch that day. Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Of COURSE he’d cover for his boys – bros before hoes. But I’m not mad at him for that.

In other news, I went to a “gentlemen’s club” on Friday evening – my first strip club ever! Me and my coworkers were taking another out to celebrate a quasi-promotion. He was supposed to meet us at the strip club, but he ran late. Me and 2 coworkers were there for about an hour. We sat at the bar mostly and then eventually moved to a table on the outskirts of the stage area. I was intrigued by the dancers but not really impressed. And we really weren’t feeling the OUTRAGEOUS drink prices ($29.00 for a margarita, a Corona, and a vodka cranberry…really?!), so we decided to dip out to go a regular bar. On the way out, another coworker I’d invited was just getting there and he wanted to go in still, so I went back in with him while the other 2 went to the other bar.

I had a much more interesting time the second time around. My coworker bought me drinks and we sat by the stage. A stripper started talking to us and he bought her a shot of Patron. She went up and danced and she was impressive. The coworker gave me dollar bills and I went up to tip her several times. She deserved it. She really worked that pole. I like the pole tricks more than anything. Anyone can come out and roll and grind their body to music. I can do that shit. The pole acrobatics are what get me though. She came and sat with us again after her routine. She was pretty nice. I mean of course, she was trying to get my coworker to buy her drinks because that’s how they make the club money (and he did buy her another shot of Patron), but she seemed genuinely nice though.

We were only there for about an hour or so. My other coworkers were wondering where we were and said that the guest of honor was on his way to where they were, so we made our way there to continue the good time.

I’d go to a strip club again. It was pretty hot once I got into it and the dancers got better. I have absolutely no interest in watching male dancers though. I think that’s fruity. The thought of a man in a g-string dancing suggestively does not turn me on in the least.