My life is epitome of mundane at the moment, so I really have nothing of interest to write about. I’m kind of at my wit’s end with a stressful situation at work that just can’t seem to resolve itself and go away, so that’s kind of putting in a dent in life’s general enjoy-ability factor for the moment.
Weeks ago I was inebriated and sent a drunken text to Chad about how I hope his girlfriend left his cheating ass. I wish I hadn’t, not because I care about how much of a bitch I was, but just for the fact that I initiated contact so it makes me look pressed when I honestly don’t think about him often or care about him. I haven’t seen him since our fateful meet-up in August.
I also sent a drunken text to Wiley a couple of weeks ago about the upcoming election. Ugh. I cringe for the same reasons surrounding the circumstances of my text to Chad.
And subsequently, to prevent these types of mishaps in the future, I deleted both of their numbers from my phone, along with those of several other jackasses that I don’t expect to talk to or hear from again in this lifetime (Zach, Blaze, JP, etc).
The week before last, I strong-armed Scout into telling me he loved me pursuant to a conversation we had regarding whether or not it bothered him if I had sex with other people. He said he “guessed” it was “my business” but implored me to be safe considering our own activities.
Ever the stoic Marine. Despite his veneer of insouciance, I could tell that it was probably something that really did trouble him, yet I think it’s more a matter of him feeling like he doesn’t have the “right” to demand my sexual exclusivity given that he is married and thus cannot offer me the benefits of a full relationship. I’m not sure I officially committed myself to him, but I did say that I have no interest in other people and that I consider he and I a real “thing” despite his limitations. And from there I said I wanted for him to explicitly tell me he loves me. And he did…complete with emojis, which he never uses. So I know it’s real.
In other news, I made the leap from Tinder to Bumble. Tinder has just been rather underwhelming lately, or maybe I’m just sick of it now that I’ve been on it for over 2 years now. (I’m trying not to ponder how pathetic that kind of is given that I still remain just as single as I was when I started on the Tinder train in 2014.)
Besides the luster finally wearing off, for whatever reason notifications of new messages do not push through to my phone though I have the option checked off and thus I have to manually check by opening the app to see if anyone has contacted me. I only remember or am bored enough for it to come to mind sporadically, and thus quite a few conversations have dissolved into the ether due to my inadvertent neglect and general indifference.
My friend Tyra had been raving about Bumble a little while ago, proclaiming that while it wasn’t as big of a pool as a Tinder, the guys on Bumble tended to be better looking.
So the other night, with that in mind, I finally decided to take the plunge. So far, so good, I guess. The guys do seem to generally be of higher quality, but they seem to be a lot more picky as well. Everyone knows that on these match apps, there are people you wouldn’t mind matching with, and then there are people you REALLY want to match with. I seem to not be getting many of the latter, which is a bummer. Maybe I’m out of my league here. I’m getting a good bit of matches overall though…about the same as I would on Tinder, I guess. So I think I’m going to stick with it for a little while and see what happens. I hid my profile on Tinder last night because I don’t really like being on multiple sites/apps at once. I think that comes off as desperation or trying too hard or something otherwise weird.
The pressure to initiate contact doesn’t really bother me because I’m not really putting in effort to say anything particularly clever or groundbreaking to most people for the first message. “Hi” and “Hello” have sufficed so far. Everyone knows that the level of attraction is the ultimate deciding factor as to how someone perceives an initial message, so I don’t feel the need to bother.
The most significant interaction I’ve had so far is with a decently attractive attorney that I matched with around Tuesday night. It started off promising – we began immediately with substantive conversation and he communicated with well-written, complete sentences. Yet by the next morning (with no provocation on my part), he commenced with inserting strong sexual references into the conversation – starting with his random, offhand hypothesis that we’d be good in bed together – which increasingly turned me off as time went on.
A guy delving into sexual territory too soon definitely triggers a certain cringe factor, but nevertheless I ignored it at first because I otherwise did think he was cute and intelligent and so I was willing to overlook one faux pas. Yet it only got worse from there and it became clear, despite our several discussions about it and his claims to the contrary, that he was more than likely just looking for sex.
Between bouts of decent conversation, he just kept on throwing in allusions to sex that started getting irritating. He made a point of telling me how women often are surprised at how sexually confident he is, whatever that means. And all of his “compliments” were tinged with a sexual overtone that I didn’t find necessarily flattering. It wasn’t just that he thinks it’d be fun to spend a day with me, but a day “in bed.” He couldn’t just say I looked hot in the evening dress featured in one of my pictures, but that he liked how I was somewhat “spilling out” on top.
Yet when I’d call him on it for putting the cart a little bit before the horse, he replied that he doesn’t necessarily feel the need to “bifurcate” things…that I should appreciate being “lusted after” as much as I appreciate someone being attracted to my mind. Being lusted after is great and all, but with someone I don’t know and am still trying to assess to figure out how attracted I am to him, that doesn’t exactly send me into a erotic frenzy. Quite frankly, at the risk of sounding vain, I’m used to guys wanting to get into my pants, like most women are. I don’t really find it that compelling unless I’m specifically in the market for a hookup.
Even still, we managed to get as far as even exploring tentative plans for a date; I told him I’d be free the following weekend and he said he’d see because of how crazy things would get for him job-wise around the election.
The next morning, in true fashion, I did not get a good morning or something otherwise civil, but instead a “Ready for the shower?” in reference to both of us having plans to go to the gym early that morning.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when, referring to the knee-high socks I had on as part of a Halloween costume in one picture, he exclaimed that he wanted to see about me wearing nothing but those over at his place. *Sigh*
I’d had enough at that point. And I’m not even particularly prudish so it’s not so much that his sexual comments offended me rather than I just think they were way too premature for how much our chemistry had developed thus far. As well as the fact that I had warned him several times that it was turning me off and he failed to listen. Flirtation is fine and even essential to any type of budding romance, but he was just way too over the top too soon. As “sexually confident” as he thinks he is, he was kind of coming off as a hormonal 15-year-old boy.
We had yet another conversation about our quite obviously different mindsets, yet when he asked where we go from there I was still willing to give him another chance. So I asked if he wanted to text. He replied with some lame remark about how to him texting is more “intimate” and he’d be expecting more. LOL. It was crystal clear at that point that he was just looking for a hook up and thus I just gave him a simple “Ok” and left it at that. And when I later found he had unmatched with me, I gave 0 fucks.
Life is grand!