Here I Am

So what’s new with me, you ask? Well, nothing much. My dry spell is past the 5 month mark now. Blah.

I’d been talking to Zach here and there, but I noticed that it was me initiating most of the contact lately, so I toned it down some. He’d said something last week about some bad news that got him down, but he refused to tell me what was wrong (men!). Since then I hadn’t talked to him much. On Thursday I sent him a picture of “Pinky”, a porn star he likes. A white boy into big asses – imagine that! He thanked me but didn’t say anything else, even when I asked him how he was. So at that point I was like Fuck it.

Much to my surprise, on Friday night, he sent a text to apologize for being out of touch, and explained that he’s been going through some things lately. Again, this is sooooooooooooo different from the Zach I knew a year ago. That Zach never would’ve said anything like that at all, he just would’ve left me wondering. I’m on the fence when it comes to deciding if he really has changed, or is just trying to play nice to get into my pants again…

Never heard anything from Bizzy besides the once or twice we briefly chatted after our outing in August. Oh well.

I’ve started speaking to Pretty Ricky again in passing. Nothing major – “Hello, sir.” His responses are curt and contain maybe even the slightest hint of annoyance, but I don’t care. I’m prone to holding grudges, but eventually I just get sick of them because it just ends up wasting energy. The bottom line is, ignoring someone still requires paying attention to them – maybe even paying more attention than you would be if things were just normal. Fuck it…I’m just so over it.

I even “poked” Mr. Smooth on Facebook two weeks ago. I don’t even know why, it was kind of spur of the moment. Again, I just want him to know that I’m over it. He didn’t respond, of course. I went out after work on Thursday night and thus I was tipsy on early Friday morning when I got in the house. I sent him a message: “Poke me.” He’s probably like, WTF. Again, don’t care. At this point I’m just amusing myself.

Yellowtail is still actively trying to get it. I could see it happening in a moment of extreme horniness, but otherwise I’m cool on that.

Dimples still tries off and on. He’s the most tempting prospect at the moment, but the fact that he keeps asking me how I’d react if he was talking to other women while we were involved lets me know where his head is at. That would possibly just be a hit-and-quit scenario and that’s not suiting my fancy at the moment. Plus it’s kind of a turn off because it’s so arrogant to assume that I’m just going to start acting out because I might see him talking to another chick or hear about him sleeping with another chick or whatever. He’s scared of workplace drama. I think he’s basing some of his reticence off of rumors of occurrences between me and Pretty Ricky. As with most rumors though, some of it is true, and some isn’t. Regardless, nothing ever occurred at work because I knew it wasn’t appropriate. I prided myself on being able to keep my emotions in check at work as a matter of fact.

Work is going okay. Only “okay” because I’m bored in the position I’m in right now. I’m ready to branch out and try something new now. I need a challenge. Right now I’m just going through the motions, waiting for opportunities to get elsewhere…

I read a good book last week: The Time Traveler’s Wife. The movie was on HBO one night and I watched it and thought it was interesting. If I like a movie that’s based on a book, then I try to read the book because there’s always so much left out of or changed in the movie. I enjoyed the book a lot. It’s about a man who has a genetic disorder that causes him to involuntarily time travel, and his wife of course. Slightly science-fictiony which is usually not my thing, but that whole aspect is addressed in a realistic sense. It’s a love story, overall.

Well, that’s all for now. Until next time…