Happy New Year

The carrot cake appears to have been a success. Monday night I got home from work and got down to business. It was between staying up really late or getting up really early, because the cakes would need plenty of time to cool before icing them. I opted to stay up late.

Here goes the recipe, by the way. I followed it to a tee, except I left out the pineapple since Pretty Ricky didn’t want it included. If it were up to me, I would’ve just left out the walnuts since I’m not a fan of nuts, but he wanted those and the cake was for him, so…

I was up until after 2 a.m. baking. The batter before the carrots are added gets extremely thick. Sasha warned me that it would, but I had no idea it’d feel like near-dry cement. I thought I’d fucked something up. But then I just added the carrots, raisins, and walnuts in and voila! I got this:

It was actually really pretty, with the mixture of colors. The recipe called for 55 to 60 minutes of baking, but mine were done after 40. I don’t know if using 9″ pans instead of 8″ pans had anything to do with that. I set them out to cool as I slept. I set my alarm for 5 a.m. to take out the butter and cream cheese. At 9 or so I got back up and got to work on the icing, which took no time. My icing skills aren’t the best, but the finished product looked decent.

The only thing is, I don’t have a cake carrier and I couldn’t find one anywhere. I guess those are hot yuletide items. What I did find was a large aluminum roast pan. So I ended up having to slice the cake up myself and lay the pieces in the pan platter style to transport it.

I tried a piece and it seemed decent, but it was hard for me to savor it with the nuts. I just wanted to make sure it was edible.

Pretty Ricky and I actually pulled into work at the same time. I brought the cake in to him and he tried it and loved it. The only thing is he wanted to lay it out somewhere for everyone to enjoy. Um, no. For one, I didn’t make it for everyone, I made it for you. For two, as it was my first time making it, I was self-conscious about it and wasn’t ready to expose it to the opinions and tastes of the masses. I thought he just didn’t like it and was just trying to get rid of it, but he said he just felt selfish keeping it to himself after several people saw us with it. Oh well. I put it in his car for him.

He did share a piece with the big boss, who said it was good. And after my supervisor heard about it she went scrounging for a piece, and he gave her one. She absolutely raved about it. The sides burned slightly from the butter on the pans and I thought that would take away from the taste, but according to her, that made it even better. She was still talking about it the next day so I guess it had to be good.

I asked Pretty Ricky the next day if he still had it or had given it all away and he said he’d definitely saved it and had a piece with some tea that morning. He said it’s even better refrigerated. He likes his cakes chilled.

So…mission accomplished. On a side note, Tuesday was the day of the funeral for Pretty Ricky’s friend’s daughter and so he had on a suit when he got in to work and looked absolutely yummy. He is just absolutely gorgeous.

I’m off for 5 days next week, so our dinner is supposed to be on one of them. We’ll see. I texted him a Happy New Year at 4 a.m. yesterday. He answered and we sent a few texts back and forth.

As far as the new year goes, I had to work on NYE so I didn’t get to have as much fun as everyone else, but I did see some pretty cool fireworks.

After work I belatedly celebrated at home with a shot of vodka and a mojito wine cooler. I resolved to be better with money, to drink more responsibly (i.e. in moderation), and to stay away from asshole men (and married ones).

Merry Christmas!

Well Pretty Ricky’s story about his friend’s daughter passing is legit. I’ve seen the mass emails regarding the passing and the impending funeral due to the mom being a colleague. I’m not sure if he was referring to the mom when he said it was the daughter of a best friend. Sad.

We talked at work the next day and he apologized again and later on got to telling me what a good heart I have. I try.

Somehow I ended up promising him a homemade carrot cake. A few weeks ago, my friend Sasha told me about a banging carrot cake she made and I immediately thought of Pretty Ricky because he loves the stuff. So at one point when he and I were talking, carrot cake came up and I told him about Sasha’s cake and said I’d try and see about getting her to make one for him. It later occurred to me that I could just go ahead and make it myself. I’m not really into baking and cooking like that, but I’m decent at it when I try; I know how to follow a recipe. Sasha emailed me a link to the recipe as well as some of her personal tips. I needed some clarification about a couple of things but otherwise it’s not a complicated recipe. It’ll be my first homemade cake.

At work the other day, Pretty Ricky used the carrot cake that a coworker had made as an example of what he DIDN’T want. I had a piece and found it to be dry and bland. That was his assessment as well. And there was no icing on it, which didn’t help matters. What’s a carrot cake without the cream cheese icing?

To get a piece of the cake, he led me to the office of the administrative supervisor. The supervisor was at her desk and there was another female sitting in the chair on the other side of it, but she was bent down and I couldn’t see her face. As I was grabbing a piece of the cake, Pretty Ricky started talking to the girl and introducing me. He introduced her as his granddaughter and coaxed her into saying the same, but I had already realized that it was his 13-year-old daughter. She’s so cute, with a head full of long, thick hair. It was neat to meet one of his kids.

It’s clear that I have a soft spot for Pretty Ricky. I still find him extremely attractive, and truth be told, if he wanted to be more than friends again, then I’d be with it. But I’m definitely not going to put myself out there and make any moves. For one, I’m not sure if he sees me in a romantic way anymore. For two, I don’t want us falling out again and not speaking to each other.

He’s so totally captivating though.  After work on Christmas Eve I was there for like an hour and a half shooting the breeze with him and Matt and this other guy and I could barely take my eyes off of him.

Tick, Tick

Yesterday, my good friend Sasha and I went to a get together at our other friend Leah’s house. We’re all friends from college. I don’t see either of them that often, so it’s always nice when we can all hang. It was a good time.

Sasha is one of the few females I know of that’s like me – unmarried (although she always has serious boyfriends) and without kids. On the other hand, Leah is married and has a 2-year-old son. She and her husband have a nice house and seem to enjoy a happy existence together. It’s funny how things turn out. I remember when Leah first started dating her husband in college. She was iffy about him at first. Now 8 years later here they are.

Her son is totally adorable. I had fun playing with him yesterday. He was especially fun after Sasha fed him some cake. That little boy ran me ragged. But suddenly I was wondering what it’d be like to have a little one of my own.

The whole experience made me feel kind of wistful. In my old age, it’s family environments like that that make me wonder if I’ll ever have a family of my own. Will I ever get married? Do I even wanna get married? Will I ever have kids?

I don’t know for sure if I ever wanna get married. I always tell people that if I were to get married, I wouldn’t see anything wrong with me and my husband maintaining separate bedrooms, like roommates. They look at me like I’m an alien. What’s so wrong with that? I mean, you can always sleep in either of the beds together if you wanted to. Do you really have to sleep together every night? I guess I’m just so used to being single and sleeping alone that I can’t fathom actually sleeping with another person every single night. I sleep right in the middle of the bed.

I remember the sole time Curly spent the night here in April (the last time I had sex – blah!), I woke up out of my drunken stupor in the morning to find myself literally on the edge of my bed. One deep breath probably would’ve been enough to send me to the floor. He’d just totally splayed himself out right in the middle of my bed like it was his. I found that amusing. I guess he’s used to being single too.

I’m sure that idea will probably change if I ever fall in love with someone. I really am an affectionate person. I like to be around and touch and play with my men. I don’t see the separate bedrooms thing really happening. I don’t know why I even say it.

I definitely want kids. I guess I’m starting to feel my biological clock ticking away. I read in this month’s Marie Claire that 90% of a woman’s eggs are gone by the time she’s 30. Yikes! At the very least, if I can’t find a husband, I suppose that a guy with good genes will do for childbearing purposes.

Really though, I do like the idea of having a family. Being at Leah’s house yesterday made that more clear. I kinda do want the husband and the home and the children and all that. My chances just aren’t looking so good at this point. I’ve never even been in a serious relationship. Eh…

Well, there’s always…

Yeah! 🙂