So where we last left off, I had just come back from my impromptu late night jaunt with a complete stranger while Reed slept peacefully and probably never even knew I was gone. It was approaching daylight by the time I was back and I wasn’t tired so I figured I’d just get ready for the day so the bathroom would be free for him whenever he woke up.
When he did, I think I mentioned that I went out for a little bit but I don’t recall telling him the extent of my adventure.
Our plans for the day were to first get some breakfast and then to take a tour of some old castle he wanted to go to before we left Osaka.
We went downstairs to in the hotel to eat and while things were quiet I tried to make a joke of the night before, how we were really drunk and wandering around trying to find the restaurant that we never did. It was supposed to be in a “ha ha, wasn’t that hilarious?” kind of way. He completely failed to acknowledge me when I said it though, and it was in such a way that I knew that he was pointedly ignoring me. So I said it again.
He responded with, “WHAT, ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE FUN OF ME BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW WHERE I WAS GOING?!”
Oh, good Lord.
No, Reed, I explained, I was not making fun of you…we were both drunk and had no idea where we were. I just thought it was funny. That’s all. Excuse me for breathing.
The rest of the breakfast was eaten in pretty much an awkward silence akin to the walk to the bar the day before.
When we were done eating we went to check out and to have the front desk hold our bags until we got back from the castle.
I truly forget if we had to take a train one stop or two, or if it was walking distance, but we got there successfully and by the time we were on the path in, he had apologized for being a dick at breakfast. But it was already becoming apparent by these sensitive outbursts of his that something was seriously awry here.
Anyway, pics from the castle…
It was pretty much like a museum inside, with cool artifacts and what not.
We stopped at a restaurant to have lunch afterward and then when we were done we retrieved our bags from the hotel and got back to the bullet train for the 2 or 3 hour or whatever it was journey back to Tokyo. I fell asleep for most of it.
We got back to his house without incident and he fixed us a frozen pizza for dinner. We were both beat and he had to work the next day, so sleep came pretty easily for both of us.
Well there’s Scout, and then there are all the rest of them…
The Wiley situation isn’t quite deceased yet, but it is on life support. His birthday was actually that same week after we had our minor tiff. I oscillated mentally between whether I wanted to wish him a happy birthday or not but in the end I decided it’d be rude of me not to, so I did. He thanked me and that was the extent of that conversation.
A few days after that, after I’d gotten his birthday gift prettily boxed, I took a picture of it and texted it to him, to which he did not respond. That was discouraging, but no worries, because the things I got are not so much for him as they are for “us”…I figured it was way too early and we were way too much of a malleable thing for me to get him something personal, but I did want to acknowledge his birthday with something tangible being as at least at the time, the situation seemed semi-promising. But in the event that it suddenly did go south I didn’t want to be stuck with an abandoned gift that was too personalized to give to anyone else, so this is naughty stuff I can use with anyone. And when he didn’t answer I figured that’d probably end up being the case.
I gave it another whirl the Sunday before last. I realized that that past weekend he would’ve been busy with the then-upcoming Republican National Convention, and that that Monday started the Democratic National Convention, so I’m sure he was still embroiled in a whirlwind of political mayhem, but I wanted to at least maintain the lines of communication…to at least make an effort on my end not to let it “die by neglect,” as he had remarked once. So I simply texted him saying I hope all is well. Nothing again.
Blah. At that point, with 2 non-responses in the bucket over the course of a week I figured the writing was on the wall – we’re done. And I wasn’t really that sad about it. It is what it is…I liked him, but we hadn’t had the chance to really heat up to the point where his exit would cause me any significant distress. It was more of in the sense that I really don’t like to lose at anything.
Yet Wiley once again randomly quelled all suspicions and fears when he texted me out of the blue that Monday night with a picture of what I assume was his view of Michelle Obama at the Democratic National Convention. I sent a smiley back, figuring he probably wouldn’t respond that night given his obvious location. I was hoping maybe he would on Tuesday, but nope. Later in the week with nothing better to do, I took a quick selfie of me lying in bed (PG-13ish) and sent it to him. Nothing as of yet. The conventions are long over, so at this point I have no idea.
Making the effort to reach out with the picture demonstrated that he was making an valiant effort to stay on the radar – or so I thought. As we haven’t talked in a couple of weeks I’m not exactly sure what his schedule was supposed to be post-conventions. He’d mentioned vacations and family activities up until the second week of August, so I guess we’ll see when the time comes if I hear from him or not.
In other news, I seemed to have caught a coworker’s interest as a result of some drunken antics some weeks back when I made some alcohol-induced romantic overtures and thus opened a door I’m not sure I really wanted to open. I’ve known Manny for a while as a colleague. He’s nice and I guess I’d say attractive though not exactly swoon-worthy, but I don’t really feel a strong romantic interest. He’s trying though. He invited me to go to a wine festival with him 3 Sundays ago, and when we talked about it the day before I said I was in, but I didn’t really want him monopolizing my whole Sunday so I feigned illness early the next morning. Mean – I know. Since then he has offered to cook me dinner via text and I’ve seen him out and he’s mentioned going out to dinner and all that. This past Saturday he texted asking if I wanted to plan something for Sunday, but I blew him off and said maybe next week. He didn’t answer. Eh.
Let’s see…Elliot and I have been moderately communicative lately. I hadn’t talked to him for a while when several weeks ago he texted me about something work-related and from there somehow over the course of some days we delved into sexual territory. And I’d say over the course of the weeks since then we’ve spoken about a litany of subjects – a lot of work and politics – and that he seems generally like he’s making a moderate effort to not be so wishy-washy with his responses. He still sometimes drops off the face of the earth during a conversation, but there were a couple of times he actually seemed apologetic about not answering due to work and what not. So it’s a mix, but I do generally think we’ve reached a happy medium where it’s clear we are attracted to each other but I guess with his girlfriend or whatever is going on there, nothing’s going to happen on that front at this time. But I really like talking to him and we mesh very well in our political and general philosophies so I’m satisfied with having him as a sounding board of sorts when I want to talk about certain things.
I actually happened to see him in passing at work last week (Monday), which was the first time we’d crossed paths since the Memorial Day 5K we ran. I had to retrieve something from my car in the garage, but ran into someone else I know right outside the door of the building and was making idle chit chat when Elliot comes out with some other coworkers. He saw me and greeted me and then went on his way. But then it turned out that the area where my car was actually an area he was venturing to as well; when I saw him down that way again with his crew I made sure to play it smooth and not even acknowledge him again or look in his direction. When I got what I needed and was walking off, he made a point of saying something to me and sucking me into conversation with he and the other coworkers for a couple of minutes. And hence I was glad I wore a cute dress to work that day and generally looked pretty hot – for exactly potential moments like those.
What’s interesting is that there is a work conference coming up in two weeks that he and I will both be in attendance at, among other colleagues and other general industry professionals. It involves several nights of a hotel stay, so we shall see if any new developments arise from that.
There had been little-to-no activity on the Tinder front lately on my part, but I’ve done some swiping recently. I had turned off all notifications from pushing through to my phone because they were annoying me, so I had no idea when people were writing to me back or when I was getting matches or what have you until I took the time to open the app. I lost a few people from the neglect, but whatevs. I turned notifications for messages back on at least for now, until it starts irritating me again. Taking it with a grain of salt, as usual.
There was one recent blast from the past that popped up out of the blue. He was a Navy sailor I matched with around the middle of last summer when I went to Virginia Beach the first time, but we didn’t start talking until after I had left already. But we seemed to connect and he was the front-runner there for a little bit, to the point where when he deployed he gave me his ship email address and we exchanged emails for a little while until his contact started getting more and more sporadic. I called him on it and he seemed to give some BS excuse so I wrote him off. He reestablished contact at some point while I was already Reed-crazy, but when I told him the deal he shoved off again. I hit him up after the disaster that was Japan to kind of test the waters but he didn’t seem very interested. Oh well.
Last week I got a text from a random number and it was him. He was disappointed when he found that I didn’t have his number in my phone any longer. Why would I? I’m not in the habit of keeping phone numbers in my phone for the sake of having them if I don’t expect to talk to someone again – double that for someone I’ve never even met. He said he had just been going through his contacts when my name popped up and he wanted to say hi. His real intention seemed to be letting me know that he’d be in my neck of the woods later this year. Cordial conversation, but I wasn’t really that eager. I wasn’t rude or terse, but I didn’t go out of my way to be particularly flirtatious and perhaps he picked up on that because I haven’t heard from him since even though the conversation was left pretty open-ended. I did add him back to my contacts though.
This guy Chester and I still talk sporadically. Despite our humble Tinder beginnings never translating into nothing much beyond a few hookups, we’ve remained in contact and are maybe even sort of friends. He mostly only texts me when he seems to be in a randy sort of mood, but here and there he will make normal innocuous contact to check up on me. I actually would hook up with him again if he wanted to make the effort to plan a night instead of his pattern of impromptu hinting or overt requests for me to come over. He lives 40 minutes from me, so I’m never really keen on putting in that much effort for just an old-news hookup.
Then there’s a guy from work who has come sniffing around out of the blue just yesterday. I met him last week at an evening work event – don’t recall ever seeing him before prior to that. I was sitting at a table talking to an acquaintance and he sat down to converse with said acquaintance as well. But when he first sat down I picked up on the several glances he shot my way in that whole looking-but-trying-not-to-be-obvious sort of way. We made idle chit chat as a trio and then as more people sat and joined off an on; I thought he was pretty cute and interesting but he mentioned a girlfriend so I didn’t think much of it.
Well he emailed me out of the blue at work yesterday, ostensibly about a work matter but it was an obviously thinly-veiled attempt to speak to me as there was really no point to his email. I thought it was cute though. Even more so when after a few exchanges of pleasantries he found a reason to slip his phone number in under the guise of being able to get me on the field for an NFL practice. I texted him to tell him I appreciate it but I wouldn’t be able to make it that night.
His response was that he would have to find out another way for us to run into each other. He proceeded to ask what my schedule was and where exactly my office is; he was working in the evening but wanted to stop by beforehand. He did text me later to do so but by the time I answered 5 minutes later he was already occupied. But he continued texting me throughout the evening and even surprised me with a phone call which resulted in a 35-minute conversation. He said he’d swing by today in the afternoon. We shall see. He’s obviously interested…but in what is a mystery because he definitely said he had a girlfriend last week. So…
Then there’s yet ANOTHER guy who I’ve been Facebook friends with for a while due to being in the same profession and having mutual friends, but had actually never met until several weeks ago. He has been displaying a lot of interest in recent weeks with messages and conversations. He lives not far from me and was supposed to cook me dinner one night and I was all for it until a genuine last-minute schedule change caused me to have to reschedule. We’ve so far not been able to align our schedules up for another try, but he gets points for bringing me McDonald’s hangover food one Sunday several weeks ago when Carly and I crashed in my living room from the night before. Seems attractive, I guess. Maybe worth exploring.
Wiley finally asked me out for dinner again yesterday around noon. For that night. Remarkably last minute notice, which I know a girl is never supposed to stand for, at least in the beginning stages of a romance, but in his case I made an exception as I know it wasn’t intentional nor to be taken as an insult.
He had been extraordinarily busy this past week with the fallout from the Orlando shooting, the shenanigans taking place in Congress, and now “Brexit” and all that, so he’s pretty much been rolling nonstop every day. And I can confirm this via his Twitter feed, which at times runs at a pretty frantic pace. Even still, he remained fairly communicative when he was away last weekend and over the course of the week and was the usual mix of complimentary and flirty and our banter was the same as it ever was. He might not have initiated the majority of our exchanges or always responded immediately, but we managed to get some conversation in between his bouts of insanity at work and that has made all the difference. Because simply being busy is never really sufficient enough of an excuse for failing to make contact with someone.
As we know, “busy” is often a euphemism used to express disinterest in a kinder and gentler way. People that say they’re “too busy” and really aren’t just aren’t that into you. People that say they’re “too busy” and really are…still just aren’t that into you. While we all get slammed sometimes, at the end of the day, people make time for who and what they want to make time for. Period.
So it was flattering that Wileywas still taking care to make time to talk to me in the midst of the news frenzy. Even still, until noon yesterday I was still unsure whether a date was going to be occurring this weekend or not. The last time we I had broached the subject was Monday – he asked if I were free Friday and Saturday and I told him either would work, but it was left at that. We didn’t talk at all Tuesday, but we did talk on Wednesday and Thursday. And yet, still no mention of if we were seeing each other this weekend. I was intent on it not being ME who had to bring it up again, but I finally caved on that personal quest yesterday morning. If I didn’t like him, I wouldn’t care, but it was crunch time at this point and I needed to know how to coordinate my weekend. So what actually led to him asking were firmly worded texts I sent asking if I was going to see him or no and that I’m not thinking so because he hasn’t seemed too interested in discussing plans for the whole week.
He registered the subtle tone of irritation and told me to stand by. Not long after he told me he’s been overwhelmed due to the news cycle, asked me to accept his sincere apologies, and asked me if I’m free that night for dinner because he’d love to see me.
Well, when you put it like that…oh, alright! Forgiven, I guess. Sure…dinner. He said see he’d see what kind of reservation he could get could get; half an hour later he said he’d pick me up at 8 p.m. at the metro station drop off in the town adjacent to his like last time, and asked me to wear a dress. Lovely. The rest of my afternoon at work went swimmingly now that I had something to look forward to.
When I got home I spent an inordinate amount of time struggling with outfit choices before finally deciding on a choice of dress and heels, touched up my makeup and hair, packed a bag with an outfit that Wiley was dying to see, and then called for an Uber around 7 p.m. There was no real reason for me to Uber since I knew I’d be sleeping over and thus didn’t have to worry about my alcohol intake or anything, but I was just too lazy to drive, really.
I arrived at about 5 minutes to 8. He wasn’t there yet and the air was still moist from a recent rain. Great…there goes my hair! I sought shelter and then called to let him know I was waiting. He was stuck in backed up traffic and running late. That normally wouldn’t be a big deal, except I was standing across from a cab stand in a somewhat revealing dress and pumps being ogled by every man in a 25-yard radius. Of all the times to be running late…
He didn’t get there until 8:20. I was slightly annoyed but I got over it quickly when he pulled up. I couldn’t help but to smile when I saw him. He hopped out, greeted me with a kiss, told me how gorgeous I looked, and opened my door for me. We maintained the same plan of action as the last date – he was going to drop his car off at his house and then we’d Uber to the restaurant, which was a new one that he had selected and was excited to try. He was again immediately affectionate, placing his non-driving hand on my thigh. He talked of how there were several restaurants that he had had in mind but really wanted to try this one and figured we’d hit the other ones at some point in the future.
He made another excellent restaurant pick. It’s his neck of the woods so he knows what’s what and what I like and has proven to have good taste so I think I can officially trust him in these matters from now on. The restaurant was a lovely upscale establishment in a hotel where we dined on fabulous cuisine accompanied by several rounds of cosmopolitans (me) and bourbons (he). Conversation was steady and while at some points kind of contentious (lighthearted debate), very delightful.
We arrived back to his house around 11 p.m. to partake in some wine and to talk. At the end of the last date, right as the Uber pulled up to fetch me, I had broached the subject of the Japan trip and said I’d expand on it at a later time, so I told him more about that, including some of my own blunders in the situation. One blunder in particular hit home with him because he went through a similar issue with his ex, so he seemed kind of put off by it to the point where I thought it might change things between us. But he explained that it’s not that big of a deal.
Of course, eventually, we started getting physical and after a little while he requested I go put on the outfit that he had specifically asked me to bring – my schoolgirl outfit. He doesn’t appear to be interested in the bondage aspect of BDSM, but he’s definitely into dominance and control and being the one in charge. So he was especially revved up about the schoolgirl idea and so I brought it for him and went to don it when he instructed me to. His eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store once he saw me in it. And from there it was on. Splendid sex. More wine. Then bedtime.
We woke up around 10 a.m. today. I was faintly hungover and very hungry, so I asked if he wanted to do brunch. He started rattling off a list of things he had to do today which basically boiled down to a resounding no, but he did offer to cook me breakfast before he took me back to the metro station.
He fixed me an jarlsberg cheese and tomato omelet with a side of turkey sausage. He opted for blueberries and yogurt and turkey sausage, compounded with my own serving of turkey sausage which I had no appetite for after eating the scrumptious omelet. Breakfast was accompanied by normal conversation tinged with bouts of political debate. It appears that his cat has really taken a liking to me, as he sat by me most of the time and even turned over on his back at one point, which Wiley noticed first and pointed out to me. A cat showing it’s stomach to you is the ultimate symbol of cat acceptance. I almost got teary eyed. (Not really.) I think that should score me points at least.
After we ate and he was cleaning up, I found myself in the midst of a deja vu sequence as I once again had to gather my various items of clothing from the living room and around his bedroom. We got dressed and were soon out the door.
Here’s the part where I overanalayze everything because I like this guy at this point: I kind of felt like something was “off” this morning. Like, he wasn’t as “into it.” I don’t know. Like, in the car ride back he didn’t readily reach his hand to touch me or hold hands as he’s done without fail in the past. I reached and pulled it over at one point and he took the hint and let it lay as normal, but I had to initiate it. I just felt like he wasn’t being as affectionate over the course of the morning in general. Then, as we were pulling into the drop off, he asked if the Uber was there yet, which seemed like he was being very hurried with trying to get rid of me as I thought I could at least wait until he pulled in to order the Uber and therefore have some time to talk a bit before it came, like last time. Ubers are a dime a dozen in the area and never more than minutes away. Was it that serious?
It all certainly could’ve been my own self-consciousness and imagination…reading too much into things now that I’m starting to care. It seemed like he had a lot on his plate for the day so he could’ve just genuinely been distracted and not so much hurrying to get me out of his hair as just hurrying in general. In any case, I wanted an opportunity to at least attempt to clear the air about the vibe I was getting. I figured that probably necessitated a conversation more than the estimated 3-minute Uber arrival time, so when I went to order one I only acted like I did and told him it would take 8 or so minutes.
I forget exactly how the conversation went – it wasn’t anything super seriously toned or deep – but I asked if everything was alright because he seemed weird. He again alluded to all the things he had on his agenda for the day and then commented that I was the one who seemed a little off – he couldn’t find a better word than “skittish” – regarding his reaction to what I told him transpired between Reed and I. He said I’d brought it up a few times as if I was afraid it was a deal breaker, and reiterated that he wasn’t judging me off of it, it just hit home because of his ex. I explained that I guess I just felt unsure about having laid some of my cards on the table maybe too soon that don’t cast me in such a favorable light, but I just believe in being objective/honest about my own shortcomings that contributed to any undesirable situation involving exes or what have you. He said he got that and would rather have the honesty than anything else. Okay…well that was settled. We then somehow got around to expressing our like for one another. Well that’s a lot better. He did comment that he was looking to take things slowly though. Fine with me.
So then it just became a matter of trying to pin him down for a third date. I went to the Uber app under the guise of “checking” on it and actually ordered one this time…4 minutes away. Perfect. Wiley never had a clue. We’d already discussed our 4th of July weekends and he has pre-existing plans for next weekend. I’m off work Thursday and Friday this week and asked if one of those 2 nights would work instead but he said he’s going to be going to a lake house with friends on Thursday. So next weekend is out, basically. That leaves the following weekend of July 9 when he did say he would be free, so once again it’ll be 2 weeks until I see him again, apparently. It’s imperative that we get some time in that following weekend though because the Democratic and Republic national conventions will be coming up shortly thereafter so he will be doing some extensive traveling for work. So that’s what it is with that.
Uber arrived shortly thereafter. Wiley got out and escorted me to it and kissed me goodbye. I texted him moments after pulling off pursuant to the Uber driver commenting on how we were kissing like we “were happy” and then making a catty remark about my choice in men. Wiley responded with a laugh and other choice words and that is the last I have heard from him. I think I’m going to lay off for a bit and let him come to me. If he comes to me. We will see how this plays out over the next couple of weeks.
I guess I’m just worried that I didn’t give the best impression of myself last night. Maybe I was too candid with him about the Reed situation. Or maybe I drank too much. Well the latter is a definite. I had 4 cosmopolitans at dinner being as they tasted like Kool-Aid. They definitely weren’t the strongest, but then I had several glasses of wine at Wiley’s and got pretty tipsy. Not stumbling drunk, but pretty buzzed to the point where some parts of our sexcapades are fuzzy although I do remember most of it.
Still, I don’t want to come off as a lush although I sort of am, especially when I’m in a safe environment and don’t have to contend with driving a vehicle. But I definitely overdid it last night. When we got back to his house, while I knew sex was inevitable, I just wanted the opportunity to connect through conversation and to enjoy his company a bit more before we got physical, so I used the wine drinking as a way to make myself occupied and thus to stall the sexual activity for a little bit. Maybe next time I’ll try that with water instead…
This was also the first time he’s seen me without makeup, as, with having to pack the schoolgirl outfit I also took the opportunity to throw some makeup remover pads in because I don’t like going to sleep with makeup on my face and didn’t want to risk smearing his white sheets with it. After we finished last night I took off a lot, but not all, of my makeup. So this morning was the first time he has seen me not all glammed up. But when I remarked in the car that I felt like I looked a hot mess, he made an incredulous expression and said I look “gorgeous,” so I’m not sure I have a lot to worry about in that regard.
The worst part of everything is that I only realized when we were around the corner from the metro station that I forgot my leftover food in his refrigerator. Thus died my dreams of chowing down on day-old lobster fra diavolo and asparagus at home. HELL.
Ugh. Whatever. The moral of the story is: Pretty much, dating is stupid because the initial stage is like a constant job interview and then even if or when you are “hired,” you’re on perpetual probationary status and can be let go at any time. I hate it. Nothing makes me more self-conscious about myself than it does, especially when I start liking someone.