All Made Up

The last week or so has been pretty decent. Nothing major going on though. I’ve talked to Coby a bit since his big production over telling me he’s back with his latest wife, but there’s really no interest there.

Thursday night after work, a few of my coworkers invited me to a nearby bar with them and I went along. Marlboro was there. I got moderately wasted, unintentionally. Marlboro and I and a cute waitress ended up having a brief three-way make out session. Just for kicks.

I ended up calling Hippie. I woke him up as it was like 4 a.m.,  but he actually answered and talked to me. I barely remember talking to him but the gist of that conversation and subsequent texting the next day when I sober is this: He wasn’t really mad about my refusal to have sex with him, but rather the fact that I made him look bad by revealing information to other people that he’d told me in confidence (the stupid shit that Pretty Ricky and Zorro told Professor about me). I reminded him that when we were on his friend’s boat and he first told me, I told him that I was going to text Professor right then and there and he didn’t seem to have a problem with it. He claims that he BEGGED me not to. I don’t remember that being the case.

So basically, he looks like a rat to his friends/bosses/colleagues now. I never said his name to anyone, but I guess it wasn’t hard for them to figure out how I found out. I asked what the big deal in that was, and he said it’s a very big deal that his bosses don’t trust him. The implication is that there are career-affecting consequences for him that I never intended.

So that made me feel bad. Maybe I should’ve thought it out more before I ranted to Professor and then bitched out Pretty Ricky. I just don’t like people talking trash about me. He said he told me what he told me so I’d know what people are saying about me, but what’s the point in me knowing if I don’t confront anyone about it?

But I felt even more horrible when Hippie told me on Saturday night that Stallion ditched him to go eat with Zorro at work, presumably because Zorro doesn’t wanna eat with Hippie now. So he said he was looking like an ass all to his lonesome.

Stallion is all up my ass lately, it seems. He’s a decent guy, I’d even say that we’re friends, but I don’t know how much to trust him given his obvious closeness with Zorro and I suspect Pretty Ricky as well, even though he never quite admits it. I’m careful about what I tell him.

I worked some overtime last night. Zach was working in the area and he came and visited with me for a while. It was nice talking to him. He’d asked me about hanging out a few days ago and then last night and I asked if he was just trying to worm his way back into my pants. He claims that’s not his agenda because he has accepted the fact that he’s not getting any. He went on to say that he could always get some from other people if he wanted, so that’s definitely not a concern of his.

He’s supposed to come over tonight after he gets off of work. This’ll be after 11 p.m. Zach is actually a decent guy, as long as I’m not trying to date him I guess.

On a random note, I’m getting fat again. I think it’s from drinking too much sweet tea flavored vodka and other sugary liquors like that. Or drinking too much in general, I guess. I eat fairly decent and I exercise, yet I still have so much fat on my stomach. It’s not an actual gut (yet), but it’s just pudgy. I’m really not feeling it. I did good when I got focused a couple of months ago. I guess I’ll have to crack down again. I gain weight primarily in my midsection. My limbs stay pretty trim and toned regardless. But all that means is that I’ll look like a diamond if I don’t watch myself. Blah.


Or not. It’s been over 4 months now. At this point I’m going to go on the record and officially declare myself sexually frustrated. It’d be nice to be squirming in ecstasy underneath a hot man right about now but nope…here I am, a hot sweaty mess (I just came in from a run), sitting in front of the TV with my laptop. I’ve been eating a lot of cereal. But Cinnamon Toast Crunch, while a close substitute for sex, doesn’t hit the spot quite as well.


It’s funny…I’ve gone through longer droughts in my younger days (late teens/early 20s) and don’t remember ever being as bothered. I suppose that as I’ve matured over the years and experienced different types of lovers and sex, I’ve become much more of a sexual person. I’ve also learned more about what I like and what good sex really is.

I definitely haven’t gone this long without for lack of opportunity or offers. I’m just being really selective. I’m waiting for someone to come along that I’m into because that always makes for better sex. To have sex solely for the sake of doing it, it’d have to be someone that I already know will do my body good from experience and unfortunately, I’m not on speaking terms with any of those people, such as Pretty Ricky or Mr. Smooth. I’d even do Curly but he plays too many games and it’s not that serious.

Dimples and I continue to flirt heavily from time to time, but he’s already told me he’s only interested in sex and I’m not for being anyone’s bootycall right now. That’s not to say that he isn’t tempting…he has a reeeeeeally nice body…

There’s another guy from work, Yellowtail, that I’ve become progressively more cool with over the past several months. We’d been exchanging flirty texts on the regular, but as of late the conversations have become a little more dirty. I am attracted to him, but I’m still trying to stick to keeping my hands out of the colleague cookie jar. Plus, he’s starting to turn me off because he’s turning EVERYTHING into a sexual innuendo now that we’ve crossed that line, and it’s annoying. I like to play and flirt, but every conversation doesn’t need to be sexual. Serious overkill.

Random pretty cat that followed me around today.

I’ve recently begun talking to Stallion again. It’s not that we weren’t talking on purpose, but after all that drama concerning the Professor situation a month ago, I kept my distance from everyone in that little circle, including him. It’s not like he was reaching out to me anyway. He swears he doesn’t recall Zorro saying anything about me at the lunch that day. Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Of COURSE he’d cover for his boys – bros before hoes. But I’m not mad at him for that.

In other news, I went to a “gentlemen’s club” on Friday evening – my first strip club ever! Me and my coworkers were taking another out to celebrate a quasi-promotion. He was supposed to meet us at the strip club, but he ran late. Me and 2 coworkers were there for about an hour. We sat at the bar mostly and then eventually moved to a table on the outskirts of the stage area. I was intrigued by the dancers but not really impressed. And we really weren’t feeling the OUTRAGEOUS drink prices ($29.00 for a margarita, a Corona, and a vodka cranberry…really?!), so we decided to dip out to go a regular bar. On the way out, another coworker I’d invited was just getting there and he wanted to go in still, so I went back in with him while the other 2 went to the other bar.

I had a much more interesting time the second time around. My coworker bought me drinks and we sat by the stage. A stripper started talking to us and he bought her a shot of Patron. She went up and danced and she was impressive. The coworker gave me dollar bills and I went up to tip her several times. She deserved it. She really worked that pole. I like the pole tricks more than anything. Anyone can come out and roll and grind their body to music. I can do that shit. The pole acrobatics are what get me though. She came and sat with us again after her routine. She was pretty nice. I mean of course, she was trying to get my coworker to buy her drinks because that’s how they make the club money (and he did buy her another shot of Patron), but she seemed genuinely nice though.

We were only there for about an hour or so. My other coworkers were wondering where we were and said that the guest of honor was on his way to where they were, so we made our way there to continue the good time.

I’d go to a strip club again. It was pretty hot once I got into it and the dancers got better. I have absolutely no interest in watching male dancers though. I think that’s fruity. The thought of a man in a g-string dancing suggestively does not turn me on in the least.

Men Are Dumb

Monday was the first time I’ve seen Pretty Ricky at work since I leaned on him about running his mouth. I came within 5 feet of him, but I didn’t make eye contact or speak.

I saw him again yesterday too. He and my supervisor were shooting the breeze. I’d just changed into a little sundress as I was heading down to a bar for some post-work drinks with a few coworkers. My supervisor was taken aback by seeing me in the sundress and was all like “Where are YOU going?” in a playful way and thus that made Pretty Ricky turn and look at me too. My boobs looked good. I’m sure he probably thought so. Not that he’ll ever touch them again. What an asshole.

After all the back and forth and the drama and the not speaking for 6 months; after we finally manage to become cool again earlier this year to where we can acknowledge each other and even kind of joke around…now we’re back to not speaking. We’re back to the awkward moments of crossing paths and mutually refusing eye contact or speaking. It’s ridiculous. I don’t have anything to say to him. If he’d like to offer me an apology, that’d be a good start. I know he won’t though.

Saw Professor on the news last night. That’s the first time I’ve seen him really clearly because I’ve only seen him in pictures and a poor-quality internet video. He’s so hot. Thanks, Pretty Ricky, for ruining that with your cockblocking ass.

Curly hit me up out of the blue on Monday night in reference to commentary he read on my Facebook where a female coworker/friend of mine said we needed to have a date soon. Being a man, he turned that into something sexual and started texting me about how he wants to watch. I didn’t even know who it was at first because I deleted his number back in June or whenever it was that he was telling me how I got on his nerves or whatever.

He started talking about wanting to have a threesome because he’s never done it and it’s a fantasy of his. No thanks. I told him I’d consider something like that for someone WORTHY.

“So I’m not worthy huh?”

I’m sorry, didn’t YOU cut ME off?! Now I’m suddenly supposed to be into fulfilling a fantasy of yours? We’ve barely spoken for the past 6 weeks.

What is it with men?

I’d do him solo, but I’m definitely not doing all of that. He has some nerve…