Two Night Stand

My profession is not one of the standard 9-to-5 variety, so while the majority of the world was able to get fancied up and drink and party it up until the stroke of midnight and beyond on New Year’s Eve, I myself was at work until almost 1 a.m. No worries, though, because the bars are allowed to stay open indefinitely for it and thus as soon as I was released from my servitude I met my friends out for some New Year’s drinks and cheer.

As I walked in the bar to meet them I spotted a gentleman that from behind looked kind of like Twin II (or Twin I, I guess). I headed over to speak but upon further inspection I realized it wasn’t either twin at all and I did not in fact know this guy. But I was able to see that he was pretty good looking. Tall, clean-cut, crisply dressed in a blazer and button-down…my cup of tea for sure.

I noticed him throughout the night milling around the bar from time to time but he never seemed to take notice of me and I never had an appropriate opportunity to strike up conversation or anything, so…that was pretty much that.

It might’ve been about 3 a.m. when my friends decided to call it a night and said their goodbyes. So suddenly I found myself all alone yet not quite ready to pack it in just yet. As I stood there surveying my surroundings, who should I notice just a few footsteps away but the tall handsome stranger all by his lonesome? It didn’t appear that he was there with a date or even with anybody at all. So at that point I seized the opportunity.

I was pretty tipsy so I don’t remember exactly how the conversation started, but before I knew it, Cooper and I were like 2 peas in a pod. The bar was still going pretty strong but it was bound to be closing eventually and I guess we decided we’d had enough and decided to go back to chill at his place and drink more there. Driving was out of the question; he lived about a 15-minute walk from the bar strip which would ordinarily be doable but probably not the best idea in the wee hours of the morning when both parties are a good bit intoxicated. So we got a cab to his place and I do believe we did a shot of Fireball and then settled on his couch with some beers. Even though I don’t like beer.

A round of drunken sex ensued later on. We passed out and woke up around 10 a.m. I wasn’t miserably hungover but I wasn’t quite up to par. He was kind enough to fetch a cup of water for me. But I needed food. I’m not sure where the idea came from or why I even thought he’d be down for it, but I suggested we get brunch. Just a random, off-the-cuff idea, but I wanted to get some food on my stomach so I would’ve gone whether he had agreed to it or not.

But he did. Nice. I gathered my things and dressed with the assumption that we’d be parting ways after brunch. We took his car back to the bar strip and picked out a spot to eat. I ordered a mimosa and he got a crush and I planned on only having one or 2 drinks, max. But…I don’t know. One mimosa turned into 2 then 3 then 4. Then, for God knows what reason, we started doing shots. Not even fully recovered from the night before and there we were, at it again. Hair of the dog, I guess.

I was having fun. This was the most random of situations to find myself in, but I just went with it. I learned a lot about his background and his family and I liked it. He’s smart, successful, seems to come from a good family, and he was very easy to talk to. We had the same ideas about a lot of things. I told him at a certain point that I’d probably need to chill at his place for a bit to let the alcohol wear off before heading home, and he was fine with it. His day was completely clear. He doesn’t work the standard 9-to-5 either. I was actually supposed to work that night but it became clear after a while that that wouldn’t be happening. So I played hooky.

We decided we were done there and would head back to his place. We asked for the tab and he snatched it up as soon as it came without even batting an eye. We headed outside ostensibly to find a cab back to his place since he was definitely in no condition to drive, but it was cold and there were no cabs in sight, and before I knew it he was leading us to another bar so we could “wait for a cab.” Right!

We drank more. We talked more. We laughed more. More fun. Up until the point where we decided to get ready to leave and I made a quick trip to the bathroom beforehand. I came back out to discover that he had disappeared. The seats we had been occupying had been taken by other people and there was no sign of Cooper anywhere. I figured he had gone to the bathroom as well, but after a few minutes elapsed and he didn’t come back I took it upon myself to take a quick peek inside the men’s restroom to see if he was in there. Empty. I didn’t have his phone number so I had no way of contacting him at that point.

He ditched me. Wow. What a bummer. If you were ready to call it quits, that’s all you had to say. There I was all alone in the middle of a bar, drunkenly disoriented and ditched. I had just started to contemplate my dire situation when I looked up to see Cooper walking toward me.

He was back. He had run downstairs to the first floor to go say hi to a buddy or something. Not ditched after all. Not that it would’ve been the end of the world, I just thought that would’ve been a really jacked up thing to do. But alas, that wasn’t at all the case. Whew!

We cabbed it back to his place and engaged in more drunken sexual escapades. I put on one of his t-shirts afterward and we settled on the couch in his living room and watched TV. At one point later in the evening I got hungry. There was really nothing to eat in his house, but he showed me the menu of a local delivery spot that was likely to be open. To my delight, it was. I ordered us cheesesteak subs and we watched a movie. Eventually we started fooling around again on the couch and we headed upstairs for the night soon after to finish things from there.

I woke up a little bit before 2 a.m. craving fluids. I made several trips to the kitchen for juice and water throughout the night. We slept and laid around until just after 9 a.m. He indicated that he wasn’t feeling quite well, so I got water for him. Soon after it was time to get the day started.

We made the 15-minute trek back to the bar strip for our cars by foot. He saw me to my car and asked for my number. We exchanged. He said he had a good time and gave me a kiss goodbye. I told him to hit me up and tentatively suggested getting together next week. He said he needed some time to recover, but seemed agreeable to it. Whether I will hear from him or not is anyone’s guess. Most gentlemanly guys ask for your number after stuff like this I guess to be polite, but that doesn’t mean I will actually hear from him. I like him…I think he’s a good guy and it’d be nice to hang out with him on more of a sober tip and to get to know him better, but I won’t be holding my breath. The ball is in his court.

We had a lot of fun, but spending 2 nights at a stranger’s house without any grooming or hygiene products available certainly took its toll on my physical appearance. My makeup had disintegrated, a toothbrush did not touch my mouth not one time, and my hair, especially this morning, was a tangled disaster on one side in particular. I gather I probably looked like a homeless person. So he has seen me at my worst, that’s for sure.

So…that was different. Not the average one night stand. A two night stand, really. I can’t say I’ve ever spent 30 consecutive hours with a guy I went home with from a bar. So completely random. But it just happened to work out like that and I’m a pretty go-with-the-flow type of person if something just seems to fit. This is the stuff life is made of.

Wrapping Up

I had a Tinder date yesterday afternoon. This guy was kind enough to drive to a Starbucks that was significantly closer to me than it was to him where we engaged in about 45 minutes of conversation over beverages.

He was pleasant and the conversation flowed easily enough, but I knew from the moment I laid eyes on him that I was not at all physically attracted to him and never would be. And that was all she wrote.

He looked decent enough in his Tinder pictures – boyishly cute at least, even if not necessarily handsome – but he did text me a freshly taken one the other night that was a little borderline. Be that as it may, as I don’t consider myself particularly photogenic, I recognize that other people also may not be so I try not to write people off right away based on inconclusive photos. So when he asked to meet yesterday I said what the hell and gave it a whirl.

It’s actually the same exact way I felt about Dusty. He looked decent in his photos, but I had trouble deciding if I really thought he was cute or not. But since we clicked so well I gave him a shot and while he actually wasn’t, like, strikingly handsome or anything, he turned out to be cute and I was attracted to him overall.

This guy…not so much. He was in fact not cute at all. Which is not necessarily the end of the world in itself. He did have pretty blue eyes. But on top of not being particularly attractive in the face, his teeth were pretty atrocious. Besides some of them being crooked and/or misshapen, they were a pretty noticeable shade of yellow. Like, a dingy yellow bordering on brown. Mustard colored. There were even some tiny specks of actual brown here and there. Just…gross looking. He didn’t seem to be a smoker but he said he used to drink a lot of coffee.

Not quite, but close!
Not quite, but close!

So, call me shallow, but those teeth just weren’t going to work for me. And I myself spent the majority of my life with imperfect teeth so maybe I’m the last person that should be so picky about them. But then again, as I’ve spent over $5,000 and the last year of my life on Invisalign to correct mine, maybe I do feel a little entitled. I don’t know. But whatever imperfections I may have had, my teeth have never been just straight yellow. Yuck.

So…no. This was a definite no-go from the start. But he drove for quite a bit to meet and just because I didn’t feel any attraction to him doesn’t necessitate any rudeness on my part, so I put forth the effort to get to know him for the sake of conversation.

When it was time to leave he walked me to my car, we hugged, and he said he’d like to see me again soon. He hasn’t texted or called since so for all I know I might not have been his cup of tea either. Which would be just fine with me. In fact, I HOPE that’s the case.

Anyway…here we are on the cusp of 2015. Another year gone by and while I’m not exactly where I want to be in life just yet, I’d say I had a good 2014 overall. Job-wise, I made out okay. If I put my mind to it and hustle, I can move up by the end of 2015.

Me-wise…I’m happy with myself. I lost some extra poundage that had snuck up on me over the past several years and have stayed in the gym regularly and I’m loving my body at this point. I want to lose 10 more, but I’ve been wanting that for the past 6 months or so. I’ll get around to it one of these days. As mentioned, my Invisalign has worked wonders and the skyrocketing smile compliments and noticeable improvement to my appearance have been well worth the money and energy. I feel beautiful, and I feel confident. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt like that to this extent.

Romance-wise…eh. I’m still in the same place I was at this time a year ago: chronically single. It’d be nice for that not to be the case one of these days, but one other thing that added confidence has given me is the strength to be less inclined to put up with anyone’s BS and to remain firm in steadfastly refusing to settle for anyone who isn’t absolutely right for me.

My only real “resolution” is to leave all the nonsense from 2014 IN 2014. And that includes certain people.

Like Robbie. Haven’t spoken to him since December 12th and I don’t care to. Haven’t had any more contact with his (ex?) girlfriend and I don’t care to.

Like JP. Haven’t spoken to him since November when I wished him a happy birthday. Which he didn’t bother to answer. As of my latest Facebook stalking endeavors last week or whenever, he and LMDP still seem to be going strong. I guess I was wrong about my 90-day deadline, as well as my ballpark end-of-the-year estimate. And…I don’t really care. Why be worried about some Tinder guy who led me on and stood me up and who I’ve never even met? At the end of the day, given what I know and feel about LMDP, if that’s the kind of girl who makes him instantly fall head over heels, that just goes to show that he and I were ultimately completely unsuited for each other. She and I are opposites. So if that’s what’s floating his boat, then he and I most likely wouldn’t have worked.

Like Blaze. Who, since our episode back in early December, has been sniffing around wanting to hang out here and there. But I know he’s really only after one thing and it doesn’t interest me in the least at this juncture. He’s not offering anything substantial and I’m not interested in whatever he is offering.

Moving forward, moving on…

Onward to 2014

2013 has been a decent year for me, I guess. Not particularly terrible and not really spectacular, but decent. I achieved a fair amount of success in my career and I went on 2 awesome vacations. Those are pretty much the highlights. In between was lots of alcohol, fun times with my friends, some boys, and a little bit of sex here and there. That’s sufficient, I guess.

But as 2013 starts winding down and 2014 looms just over the horizon, I’m going to play catch-up and take stock of what I have going on now, what I’ll be leaving behind in 2013, and what I’ll be looking forward to in 2014:

Blaze: I’ve managed to calm my feelings down. He actually came over really early in the morning (like, around dawn) last Saturday. I gave him what he wanted and he left. Same ol’, same ol’. That’s all it is with him and that’s more than likely all it’ll ever be. He’s told me that in so many words and most importantly, he has SHOWN me that with his actions, so in the end he’s completely faultless in any kind of resentment I may ever feel regarding the situation because he has been the exact same since I met him. He has never made false promises or strung me along or led me to believe that he wants anything more from me than what he asks for. I can appreciate that. I wished him a Merry Christmas but he didn’t respond. Blah. I’m going to try to let it go. REALLY try. That’s all I can do. This is not by any means a fulfilling or satisfying situation for me, for many reasons. If my history with men is any indication, I’ll have completely forgotten about him in a couple of months and be going about my merry business, and suddenly he’ll come back out of nowhere and actually want to date me or something. But I’ll be irrevocably uninterested in him by that point. That’s how it always goes with me. They never want me when I want them…only when I’m long over them and completely not attracted to them anymore do they somehow manage to always start sniffing around again. It’s like a special superpower that men have.

Domino: We rarely ever talk anymore. I wished him a Merry Christmas and he wished me one back, but that’s about it. It’s been extremely intermittent contact since he moved to his new position at work and has claimed to be working a lot and busy all the time and this and that. And that may be true, but I know when I’m being blown off. People make time for who/what they want to make time for. I’ve been around long enough to know that when a guy keeps telling you he’s busy, what he really means is that he’s too busy for YOU. I was browsing Facebook last night and saw some pictures he was tagged in by someone I think is his sister, and one of them featured him and some random girl posing together. I can’t help but to think it’s probably a romantic interest of his. Not something I’m going to loose sleep over though…it is what it is. We had our fun and it just kind of fizzled out.

Goodbyes: I’m losing a good friend. Actually, I lost him about 6 weeks ago. I live in the house of a good guy friend of mine that I’ve known and trusted for over 5 years. It was smooth sailing until he started dating this girl late in the summer and before I knew it, she was basically living here. I wasn’t exactly pleased with that because it wasn’t the situation I had originally moved into, but more than that, I just never got a good vibe from her. We got along okay in the beginning, but I just never really took to her like that. And quite frankly, I just didn’t, and still don’t, feel like she is for him. He happened to inform me one night of some negative comments she had made to him about me, I ended up getting into it with them both, and it was all downhill from there. Basically, she made him “choose” between her and me, and he chose her. So the last 6 weeks have been like living in hell. I’ve felt unwelcome and awkward at home and it has made me really hurt and angry. And as the confrontational person that I am, I have not been shy with either about them about the way I feel. Ultimately, I think it’s sad that a girl that claims to care about him would purposely seek to alienate him from what she knows was a good, longstanding friendship of his, and even sadder that he obviously felt that his little 5-month relationship was more important than this same longstanding friendship. In any case, I’ll be out of here next week and I cannot WAIT. I wish them both the best. Eh…actually they can both go to Hell, really. He already knows that once I’m out, we’re done. I would never want to reestablish a friendship with someone who would treat me like that. Screw it.

New Beginnings: I scored a nice new place with my friend, Sarah. I was hesitant at first because she’s had some financial issues in the past and I wasn’t sure about moving in with yet ANOTHER friend who, if history is any indication, I will only end up falling out with eventually. But I had already kind of preliminarily committed to it once my current living situation started spiraling downhill. I knew I’d be moving in a couple of months and she brought up the idea of us getting a place together. So I figured what the hell. Living alone these days is expensive.  I can afford it, but it’s not friendly to the wallet. Why spend more money living alone if I don’t have to? That leaves more money for life’s necessities, like clothes and alcohol. At the very least I figured I’d try it out for a year. If it doesn’t work out then I’ll just move on and do my own thing. No big deal. So…I’m excited. I’m excited to get the fuck out of the hellhole environment I live in now, and excited to have a new place to decorate and make into a home.

Teeth: I just started Invisalign treatment this week. I have some inherited teeth imperfections that I’ve lived with and tolerated all my life, and also managed to still feel and look pretty attractive in spite of. But recently I got fed up and started craving a change and thus decided to do something about it. So now here I am, with a little over a year of treatment to get through. Right now I’m just trying to get used to having plastic in my mouth upwards of 22 hours a day and not being able to eat or drink as freely anymore. It’s a bit of a lifestyle change and kind of burdensome so far, but I’m sure as I start seeing my teeth improve, and especially once I see the end result, it’ll all be worth it

Fitness: So as long as I’m embarking on a physical improvement quest teeth-wise, I decided to get more serious about improving my body as well. I’ve never been a big girl or anything, but I could definitely stand to loose a few pounds and to tone up. So I’ve been doing so, mainly just by keeping up with the gym and/or cardio a couple of times a week and watching what I eat. I don’t believe in fad dieting…those weird diets where you eat only this or only that or paleo or no-carb or juicing only or anything weird like that. I love food and I don’t want to limit myself with ANY of it. But I just don’t go crazy. Moderation, portion control, and water…my 3 keys to success. Well, along with the gym…4 keys to success. So far, so good. I’ve lost a couple of pant sizes in recent weeks and people have commented here and there on my weight loss, so it’s clearly working. Invisalign is apparently going to be a big help being as you have to take the trays out to eat and brush and floss your teeth before putting them back in. As a result, random snacking is no easy task anymore.

Random Crushes: I’ve somehow managed to develop a bit of a crush on a direct subordinate of mine at work. I always thought he was hot, even before I was his boss. I would see him around from time to time but we had never had occasion to interact until I started working with him. Even after then he had always been pretty quiet around me and we never said much more to each other than was needed. And I thought he was engaged anyway. But recently…like, as recently as this past week…it seems like he has started to subtly flirt with me. It’s hard to tell, but I feel like he’s trying to. He has definitely started coming out of his shell around me. There’s a lot of playful back-and-forth banter. I’ve been careful to keep things pretty vanilla and not to cross any lines, but I can’t say that he doesn’t intrigue me the littlest bit. But I’m his superior. And while there’s no explicit rule against fraternization or anything like that at my job, any type of romance between us clearly wouldn’t be a good idea. Not only do I feel like it would be highly inappropriate, but I also wouldn’t want to open myself up to any allegations of sexual harassment or what have you. So I don’t say anything sexual or romantic or anything inappropriate to him whatsoever. It’s just some innocent teasing back and forth, like I do with a lot of people I work with and/or supervise. But I feel like we’re both TRYING to flirt with each other, but are both just being cautious, given the situation, and restraining ourselves. It’s weird. I’m going to be good, though. So many ways this could backfire.

Dating: It’d be nice to do that sometime. I can’t even remember the last time I went on a real date…as in going out and doing something fun with a guy I’m actually attracted to. The guys that want to take me out are always the ones I’m not romantically interested in (like Woody), and the guys I would want to date are always the ones that just want to keep things sexual (like Blaze). That’s literally the way it always is with me. So for once it’d be nice if the person that wants to take me out, and the person I’m attracted to, could be one and the same. I reinstated my Match.com account last week to see if I would have some luck there. I still had a couple of weeks left on a previous subscription. But as usual it appears to be a bust. Guys look at your profile repeatedly and/or send winks and/or send “likes,” but don’t say anything. And even if I wink back, they don’t say anything. Weird. My subscription expires the first week of January. I’ll try and keep it going until then. But ultimately, it’s just annoying.

In any case, I’m looking forward to 2014 being a good year for me. Come what may, I’m definitely going to be looking better at least.