So Many Antics…

…so little time.

The last couple of months have been more of the same. Nothing spectacular, nothing horrible. Just the status quo.

I had my first and thus far only Tinder date back in late May. There was one particular guy I had been messaging with on there for a couple of weeks off and on and he asked me to meet him for drinks. I met him at an upscale hotel bar he suggested and we conversed over drinks for 3 hours until it closed. He was nice looking and seemed very smart but I wasn’t overly attracted to him. Not that I wasn’t attracted to him at all, but only in an indifferent, take-it-or-leave it kind of way as opposed to in a I-gotta-have-him kind of way.

He was a gentleman and walked me several blocks to my car afterward. We hugged and he said he wanted to hang out again and we exchanged phone numbers. He asked me to text him once I got home and I did. He wished me a good night and then I didn’t hear from him for several days. He texted me on a Saturday asking me if I wanted to go on a bicycle ride with him the next day, but I wasn’t able to. I said I’d be up for something else, but I never heard back from him.

And Tinder remains Tinder. It’s nothing I’m taking too seriously. There is one guy I’ve been messaging with for about a month now, but he lives several states away. Not particularly my type anyway, but he’s great to talk to. Otherwise, not much going on there.

The bar scene has been more of the same too. It’s never hard for me to meet guys that way, but those encounters seem to only lead to one-night stands. Fun, but not particularly satisfying.

And alas, I’m back to I decided to resurrect my profile with fresh pictures and a few profile tweaks and I’ve been getting a lot more attention than I ever have. Not only online, but in person as well. I guess I owe it to losing a few pounds and Invisalign. Anyway, I’m trying to give a valid chance this time, and so far it hasn’t been too bad.

There’s one guy in particular that might have some potential. He  messaged me on Monday and between then and Tuesday we exchanged dozens of messages. He looks cute in his photos and we clicked pretty immediately through mutual sarcastic banter. He did express some concern over the fact that we live about 45 minutes from each other, but other than that we had obvious chemistry. I like the way he writes (spelling and grammar wise), he’s tall, he’s gainfully employed in an interesting profession, and he’s funny. On Wednesday morning he said he was off to visit his home state for a few days and wouldn’t be on so much over the next few days, so he wasn’t “sure where this will go.” That didn’t sound particularly encouraging to me, so I just told him to have a good time and that if he’s lucky, no one else will sweep me off my feet while he’s gone.

I wasn’t so sure I’d hear from him again, but then late Wednesday night I got a message from him asking if I miss him yet and declaring that that would’ve been a drunken text message if he had my phone number. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to hint that he wanted my number or not, so I played it safe and responded jokingly, but didn’t offer my number. I expected he would respond to that somehow yesterday, but he never did even though he’d been online. Then last night after having a couple of drinks myself, I tipsily messaged him and bit the bullet and gave him my number. But then I noticed he’s been online again since I’ve sent it and still no return message. Or maybe since he has my number now, he’s going to reply via phone eventually. I have no idea. We will see. If not, there are definitely plenty of fish in the sea.

For instance: I was walking into a convenience store at work the other day and right behind me came a guy I know of from work but who I’ve never actually met. And I know of him because I’m chummy with his child’s mom, who I hung out with a few times in years past, but I’ve not talked to her in a while. He makes a beeline straight for me and starts talking to me. He knew who I was because he said his child’s mom had mentioned me from time to time, and he made a point to let me know they’re not together. We started talking about fitness and the gym and he said we could go together sometime and then pulled the infamous “How will I get in contact with you?” which resulted in us exchanging numbers. What was most interesting about that was that he walked right back out of the store after we finished up. So…he didn’t come in there to buy anything, but had obviously seen me walking in and came in there just to talk to me. I thought that was kind of cute. He’s not my usual type, but he’s pretty good looking.

Zach is once again completely out of the picture. He’s an asshole. As usual, he wasn’t happy with the fact that I wasn’t overly eager to hook up with him and starting talking shit about finding God and wanting to lead a better life and all this nonsense. It turns out, like with all his previous sudden personality changes, that he met a very religious girl or something, and that’s really the cause of his sudden spiritual epiphany. Yawn. We went our separate ways several weeks ago. He said he was going to delete my number and get his changed and all this and that and I gave not one damn. Yet one night last week I get a late night text and gee, look who it is: Zach. “I’m sorry,” and “Do you miss me?” (NO) and all that jazz. I gave him the cold shoulder and he got the point.

Redd and I haven’t spoken in a week. He’d been texting me sporadically to tell me know how much he’s thinking about me and wants me. He was supposed to come over one Saturday night after work but I never heard from him and I didn’t press the issue because I had a feeling this visit would not occur anyway so I went out. He told me later that he came home and passed out. Whatever. He supposedly thinks about me all the time but the one sacred chance he would’ve had to come see me when his girl is away, he squanders. Right. He apologized and I let that one go. But then he asked me to come over last Friday night because his girlfriend was going back home for the weekend. I already had plans for the night so I asked if Saturday would work. He answered “Let me see how tonight goes.” Um…okay? So again, you miss me so much and want to see me so badly, yet once again when you have the rare opportunity you don’t seem to be interested in making it a priority. I told him as much and we haven’t spoken since.

And that was all she wrote…

Tinder Love

So many adventures, so little time…

I’ll start with Zach. He came over the night before last and we hung out on my couch and watched a movie and drank a lot of wine. Well…I drank a lot of wine. He didn’t drink at all. We had been talking earlier in the week and said he wanted to come over to talk about some things that would help me to understand why he is the way he is. Based on our history, I was absolutely positive that before this rendezvous actually came into fruition I’d get a barrage of texts about why we can’t hang out/be friends, but lo and behold, he actually stuck to his guns and showed up. He looked good. He IS a very good looking guy. He’s lost some muscle weight due to recent surgery on his leg and having to take it easy, but he still looks good. He always has. Tall, dark hair, blue eyes…just how I like ’em.

We watched the movie. I drank. He took my hand on his own volition and held it for a long while. He felt me up a little bit and tried to get me to do the same to him in a playful sort of way, but he was otherwise a very good boy. He even voluntarily refilled my wine glass a couple of times.

I don’t really know what came over me – maybe it was the wine, or maybe I just wanted to since I hadn’t done it for him in a long, long time – but I ended up giving him a treat. On my own accord. He didn’t ask and wasn’t trying to get me to do it or anything, I just suddenly felt like it so I did it. He was very impressed and appreciative.

Then came the “There’s something I have to tell you,” which isn’t the most settling thing to hear after you’ve just had your mouth on someone. I was scared it’d have something to do with an STD and was prepared to resort to physical violence, but it wasn’t anything like that…

#1: He’s almost completely sterile. He found this out not too long ago after some pain in his groin resulted in him going to a doctor and eventually getting his sperm tested (the pain turned out not to be related). Apparently he has a low sperm count and they’re not very mobile, so it would be really hard for him to conceive and he and whomever he endeavors to have a child with would most likely have to do in vitro fertilization. That disappoints him because even though he’s nowhere near trying to have children, he always did foresee himself having some someday. I’d feel the same way if I found out for whatever reason that I couldn’t have kids. Nevertheless, it’s not the end of the world. He’s not completely sterile so while it’ll be difficult, it’s not totally outside the realm of possibility.

#2: He suffers from depression and anxiety for which he takes medication. I never knew this about him, but it kind of explains why sometimes he seems to be so emotionally…not exactly unstable, but…well, yeah, unstable I guess. Not in a dangerous sense, but I guess in the sense that, like with the many times he’s gone back and forth about us hanging out or being friends, he seems not to know what he wants and to change his mind quickly. Now it kind of makes sense.

In all the years I’ve known him he’s never really been that candid to me about himself before so it was refreshing to have him be so open. It made me feel bad for all the times we’ve argued and I’ve said mean things to him because I didn’t know anything about his mental struggles. That just goes to show…you never really know what burdens other people are carrying. It puts things in perspective.

He texted me yesterday and thanked me for listening. I told him I’d like to cook him dinner in a friendly way whenever he has time. His birthday is coming up so it’d be kind of like a present. He said that sounds nice and that he’ll let me know.

In another news, I met a guy last week at a work conference. It’s a weeklong event that draws people from all over the country and involves a lot of drinking every night once the work-related stuff is done for the day. Good times are always had. Last Wednesday I was there getting hammered, talking to some guys I know from meeting there last year who I was glad to run into, and up walks Redd. Unfortunately I had been drinking for several hours by this point and was pretty inebriated, so I for the life of me can’t recall exactly how conversation between us initiated. I do remember that he was with a female coworker of his and I assumed they were a couple at first which was a bummer because I thought he was cute, but that turned out not to be the case.

I definitely don’t recall how things progressed to the point where we exchanged numbers, but we did. And then at some point while we were still there he texted that he wanted me. I was intoxicated, bored, and clearly needed somewhere to crash anyway since driving was out of the question, so that didn’t sound like a bad idea. He lived not too far away but had parked his own car at a subway station near his place and caught the train, so he drove me and my car back to his place.

Redd was a nice guy and took really good care of me. I was a drunken mess. His apartment was really nicely decorated…very impressive for a bachelor’s pad. I remember playing with a sword and fooling around with one of his several guitars. We had sex at some point, though I don’t remember much about it. I do remember lying in his bed afterward and him telling me how pretty I am and remarking that he only has one more condom left, should we use it now or save it for the morning? I opted to save it for the morning. We fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night craving cold water. He got up and got me a bottle and a cup of ice and I devoured it like, as he put it, “it was my job.” Alcohol will do that to you.

Despite my severe level of intoxication the night before, I wasn’t really that hungover the next day, thank goodness. I think that middle of the night water binge helped immensely. We woke up and laid around talking for a bit. We had sex again, eventually. He’s big and it was pretty good, but the downside was that his breath was really foul. I’m not sure if it was just bad morning breath or a general halitosis problem, but it was bad enough for me to shy away from kissing him when he tried.

I drove him to his car and he said he’d be back to the conference that night. He didn’t make it back though because he ended up drinking at home and passing out.

Since then he’s been texting me on the daily. He thinks I’m so beautiful and said that he’s in love with my body. He’s from another state originally and has a girlfriend back home there. As I recall, he said he’s in love with her, but she won’t move to be with him or something. I don’t know. That’s fine, as I’m not interested in him to the point where that bothers me or anything. I would’ve hung out with him this week, but he used his days off to go home and see her. Blah. He was texting me last night trying to see if I’m available this weekend, but it’s my time of the month. We’ll see how this goes. He’s cute, but a little leaner that I usually like. The sex isn’t bad though.

Last, but not least, I appear to be very late to the party, but I decided to give Tinder a try. I was introduced to it via guy friends of mine letting me play on their accounts when we’re out and I grew to like the concept of people not being to contact each other unless there’s mutual attraction. Unlike, which I just wasted another $60.00 on days before signing up for Tinder, I don’t have to worry about people contacting me that are the complete opposite of what I want. And also unlike, the only way to establish contact with a mutual interest is to bite the bullet and send a message. annoys me because I find many men on there to be way too passive aggressive for my liking. They’ll look at my profile a million times, favorite me, wink at me, like my photos…they do everything but actually speak. Even the ones I return winks to…they just won’t speak. It’s annoying. Or maybe if they wink, they expect me to message them first? I don’t know. I guess that’s why never works for me…I’m really not inclined to speak to anyone or make a move on anyone unless they indicate some type of interest first. I kind of just sit there and wait. And wait. And get messages from undesirables. And wait. And get numerous photo likes. And wait. And then get bored after a few days, hide my profile, then let 11 weeks of a 12-week subscription go to waste. Rinse and repeat.

So Tinder appeals to me in that it’s implied in the fact that someone swiped “right” on you that they find you physically attractive. The only bad thing is that heights may or may not be listed. I’m a tall girl so men have to be of a certain height to ride this ride. But a lot of guys do opt to provide their heights, so that helps. I’ve had a little trouble with the app so far crashing and erasing my matches and not letting me upload extra pictures, so I’ve had to delete my account and the app and reinstall it and start all over several times now, but as of now I’m up and running and have dozens of matches.

I’ve had one sub-par experience so far. A guy I matched with Sunday (my first day) started messaging me later that night and we seemed to have a good rapport. He looked pretty cute, didn’t act like a pervert (even though it was around 11 p.m. and he said he was in bed so that’s what I was expecting), was tall enough (6’1″), and wrote like he had a good grasp of the English language. We bantered back and forth a bit that night and then a little bit on Monday. On Tuesday I decided I’d had enough of Tinder and was going to delete my account (the first time), so I gave him my # and he started texting me. We texted throughout the day and were doing well until he told me where he was from (an area known for being wealthy and upper crust) and I joked that he grew up a rich boy. For some unknown reason he got offended over my “gross generalization” and called me stupid and then started giving me the silent treatment. I remained nice and apologized and left it alone for the night. I debated leaving him be for good but decided the next day to try to be nice and give it a second chance. I was only joking and I tend to have a dry sense of humor that could be undecipherable enough in person, let alone via text message where tone is easily misconstrued. So I sucked it up and texted him again. He was really short with me and obviously not interested with speaking with me so I wished him well and told him I hope he finds what he’s looking for. He texted me back eventually thanking me and followed up with “I’m rich.” Whatever that means. Don’t care.

I don’t really have any lofty expectations from this, so at least I won’t end up disappointed. I was surprised to run across Domino on there though. And he had been active recently. Sucks to be his girlfriend.

I texted Rocky last week or so with a silly picture of my tongue sticking out (and a little bit of cleavage) to see what he was up to. He said he was picking up his kids. I said I only wanted to say hi. And that was that. He’s clearly done with me. That’s cool.

Sleeping Dogs

As I expected, nothing good came of the Zach situation and I was reminded why it’s always better to just let sleeping dogs lie.

He never came over that Saturday because he ended up getting a surgery moved up to the Thursday before which necessitated a couple weeks of recovery time. I made the effort to text him every few days or so to check on him, which would lead to idle chit chat. He commented once that I had been “awesome” lately, and said that he can’t wait to have our sushi night.

Even still, I wasn’t too surprised when I woke up last Wednesday morning to see that he had sent me 6 text messages after I had gone to sleep. Even before I read them I knew what they would say.

In so many words he said that his heart belongs to someone else and thus he wants to end contact with any girl he’s had a physical relationship with. He knows I’ll be mad and chew him out but it’s for the best and he knows I’ll find someone one day who will sweep me off my feet and blah, blah, blah.

My response was short and sweet: I said I wasn’t mad at all (and I really wasn’t…more amused than anything because I KNEW it was coming…it always does with him) and that I deserved it for reinitiating contact with him again against my better judgment because he will never change. I wished him well in finding what he’s looking for and told him to have a nice life. Deleted his number from my phone and kept it moving.

No big loss really. It would’ve been nice to see him again and I may or may not have had sex with him, but I can’t say that he was really lighting my fire. I was looking forward to seeing him just because I hadn’t seen him in a while, but my attraction to him over the years (due to situations like this…plus the fact that he’s really only a so-so lover) has always ebbed and flowed. I’m not sure we’ve ever had real chemistry. He would’ve just been something to do, ultimately. Why I went 6 months without talking to him and then felt the need to reconnect instead of just letting things be, I don’t know. Boredom I guess.

Lesson learned. I’m leaving that clown alone for good this time. He has issues and I don’t have time for his nonsense.

In other news, I happened to Blaze’s Facebook page recently and noticed that it says he’s in a relationship, which it definitely hadn’t since that time in September or whenever it was. I can’t see exactly when it was posted and there’s no other party tagged or anything like that, it just says it under the “Relationship Status” portion. I was a little disappointed at first and vowed to myself not to speak to him again, but then I gave it a few days and decided to test him. I wanted to see if he’d decline my advances and/or be forthcoming about his relationship if I tried to keep it business as usual.

And the answer is an emphatic NO. If he is in fact in a relationship he hasn’t let on to it. He had said that he would be “busy” for the next couple of weeks, but he was clearly still interested in seeing me. I went over to his place Saturday night, as a matter of fact. So…I can’t call it. Don’t really care.

I went out the Friday before last with Carly and other friends and had a ball. At the end of the night as I was getting in my car this random guy came up and started talking to me. He was with 2 other guys and lived nearby and eventually asked me to come hang out. Eh…okay. I’m not always ready to turn in at the end of the night and so I went with it. He was a dentist and completely not my usual type, so I knew nothing romantic would be going down, but I was down to hang. Probably not the safest thing in the world to traipse off to some random guy’s place with him and 2 other random guys, but I tend to feel pretty safe for certain reasons.

Went to his place, chilled and talked, then ended up sleeping on his couch. He slept in his bed and his friends slept on the floor. No one ever made a pass or made me feel uncomfortable, so that was a plus.

I woke up in the morning and got up to leave. I figured that since he let me crash and was generally kind of a nice guy, I’d leave a note with my number to be nice.

He hit me up later that day and immediately asked me to send him a “sexy pic.” Wow…really? I told him no thanks, not interested. And that was that.

My romantic life, in case it isn’t already apparent, is a complete flat line right now. No prospects whatsoever. I’ve pretty much cooled on Blaze and have resigned myself to this unfulfilling arrangement (until someone else comes along to catch my attention) just to have some form of sexual interaction with someone I’m slightly into. But even he isn’t really all that cute to me anymore. Yawn.

It’s been freezing cold lately and I’ve been trying to get my new living situation together (so far, so good), so I haven’t been going out much lately. As such, I’ve been drawn to which hasn’t really been any help. The only guys that email me are guys I’m not at all interested in. The guys I think are fairly attractive, I just don’t bother making the effort to contact. There have been guys that have liked my pic or winked and I’ll send a wink in return…and nothing. It’s utterly useless.

It’d be great to at least find someone to have good sex with…