At Long Last

In more ways than one. A) The fact that I’m writing for the first time in ages (I have gone through a very tumultuous couple of months on several levels. It’s funny…if I’m too emotional, I can’t write. If I’m not emotional enough, I can’t write. And B) A long-awaited, highly anticipated meeting with someone whose peripheral presence in my life dates back to July 2014, but that up until January 11, I had never met in person.

JP. Yet another pilot. Commercial, not military, but a pilot all the same. I won’t go into extreme detail since there are several previous entries already documenting our humble beginnings and subsequent stagnation, but the short and sweet of it is: we matched on Tinder; I liked him; he seemed to like me; but then it turned out he liked someone else too; he promised he’d come see me but stood me up instead to go see her and entered into some retarded relationship at the speed of light; yet he still found the need to reach out to me a while after.

And for the past year and a half, we have never really lost touch. The contact has been sporadic and mostly tenuous, but nevertheless, we have both felt the need to initiate contact with each other from time to time for whatever reason.

In any case, before 2 weeks ago we hadn’t really talked much lately. I told him a bit about Reed back in those days (the before, not the aftermath), and I wrote a line or two to him on Facebook (our main medium of contact) since, but sometimes he answers and sometimes he doesn’t and I never take it to heart because I figure he’s either traveling and/or with his tacky girlfriend.

Well on January 10, 2 Sundays ago, he decided to inform me that he was flying into an airport about an hour south of me the next morning for an overnight trip. And I happened to be off from work and didn’t have much to do, so suddenly there we were: on the cusp of meeting at last. Completely randomly and out-of-the-blue.

I halfway thought I wouldn’t hear from him the next morning or he’d make up some excuse or something, but nope…he landed around 10:30 AM and texted me right after and I left my house to drive to his hotel.

And there we met…in front of a Marshall’s. (His hotel was adjacent to a shopping center.) JP…the tall, strawberry blond-ish (maybe more red?) boy who stomped on my heart the summer before last.

Usually meeting someone in person can be nerve-racking or awkward…this wasn’t. I don’t know why…I just felt comfortable with him right away. I felt like I knew him. Which, in a way, I guess I do. I have “known” him for a year and a half and I know a lot about him, but obviously you don’t really know someone until you meet in person (i.e. Reed – we will talk about that later, I promise).

He was standing on the curb at first but he came out to meet me when he saw me sauntering across the lot, and we hugged and just stood in the middle of a parking space at first talking about what we were going to do. An old lady was trying to park in the space, we noticed after a few moments, so we moved over to accommodate her. She got out of her car and I think JP uttered something along the lines of an apology or something, because she responded that she didn’t mind because she could see he was standing there “talking to that beautiful girl.” Probably a better string of words could not have been uttered at that moment by a complete stranger to kick everything off. It never hurts when a stranger points out your desirability in the presence of a love interest.

It was a little after noon at this point and JP and I were hungry, so we decided to Uber to a mall complex a few miles down the road to eat. We chose a restaurant and made a beeline for the bar area where we sipped on several rounds of mimosas (he likes pineapple juice mixed in his, which he turned me on to as well) and a small bite to eat.

After a couple hours there, he in so many words asked what I wanted to do next, so that let me know that he wasn’t ready to call it a day, which was nice. We decided to walk around the mall for a little while. It was probably about a 200 yard hike from the restaurant, across a desolated parking lot, and it was bitterly cold and I had not dressed appropriately for the weather, but JP was such the gentleman – he gave me his coat to wear.

We got to the mall and I didn’t see many stores of interest until I spotted a Victoria’s Secret. I figured JP might think it was fun to help me pick out some underwear, and I don’t think he minded at all. I chose mostly, but I let him pick out a pair or two that he liked. From there we were done with the mall and Ubered back to his shopping center. I stashed my bag and we decided to hit up another restaurant right across from his hotel for happy hour.

The drinking continued, though while he stuck to beer given that he had to fly early the next morning and had to be mindful of that, I was off the next day and started figuring I wouldn’t be driving home that night, so I switched to hard liquor. I got pretty buzzed from there.

I don’t really remember when or how the deal was sealed exactly, but eventually we walked to his hotel together and decided to make use of the Jacuzzi in his room, which he had mentioned earlier in the day.

Some fooling around did occur, although not actual intercourse because we didn’t have any condoms. I remember a conversation we had about LMDP where he pretty much insinuated that he planned on breaking up with her eventually but he couldn’t right now because his brother’s getting married and the brother’s fiancé met LMDP and liked her so much she invited her to be in the wedding so it would be very piss poor timing to break up with her at this point. Right.

But it all gets really fuzzy from there. He had to wake up at 5 a.m. to get ready for his flight, so I set my alarm for 3 AM with the intentions of getting out of his way beforehand, but I was too tired to get up when my alarm went off so I stayed and cuddled with him some more. He woke up as planned but said I could stay and sleep in until later in the morning, so I ended up seeing him off. I must say, he does look pretty hot in his captain uniform.

Before he left, he grabbed a boob (I only had on panties), kissed me several times, and remarked that he “doesn’t know where we go from here.” And that was that. I walked to a nearby McDonald’s right after he left (I always crave carbonation the next day for some reason after I drink a lot), came back and ate, slept in some more, then cleared out a little before 9 a.m.

Then came the rest of the day when I waited to see exactly where we DID go from here. Did he like me? Will I hear from him? Are we going to run away and live happily ever after? I finally bit the bullet and texted him after I didn’t hear anything later that day. I let him know I cleared out of his room and was home watching Making a Murderer, as he had raved about it the day before. His responses were polite, but not exactly encouraging. The last thing I texted him was to ask what dates he was headed back here, because the day before he had been sure to mention that he would be back in the area this past weekend, but he never responded. I was in an area that got hit by Jonas anyway, so it’s likely that any flight of his was canceled, but still…

I guess that’s a no-go on us living happily every after.

Whatevs.

Wrapping Up

I had a Tinder date yesterday afternoon. This guy was kind enough to drive to a Starbucks that was significantly closer to me than it was to him where we engaged in about 45 minutes of conversation over beverages.

He was pleasant and the conversation flowed easily enough, but I knew from the moment I laid eyes on him that I was not at all physically attracted to him and never would be. And that was all she wrote.

He looked decent enough in his Tinder pictures – boyishly cute at least, even if not necessarily handsome – but he did text me a freshly taken one the other night that was a little borderline. Be that as it may, as I don’t consider myself particularly photogenic, I recognize that other people also may not be so I try not to write people off right away based on inconclusive photos. So when he asked to meet yesterday I said what the hell and gave it a whirl.

It’s actually the same exact way I felt about Dusty. He looked decent in his photos, but I had trouble deciding if I really thought he was cute or not. But since we clicked so well I gave him a shot and while he actually wasn’t, like, strikingly handsome or anything, he turned out to be cute and I was attracted to him overall.

This guy…not so much. He was in fact not cute at all. Which is not necessarily the end of the world in itself. He did have pretty blue eyes. But on top of not being particularly attractive in the face, his teeth were pretty atrocious. Besides some of them being crooked and/or misshapen, they were a pretty noticeable shade of yellow. Like, a dingy yellow bordering on brown. Mustard colored. There were even some tiny specks of actual brown here and there. Just…gross looking. He didn’t seem to be a smoker but he said he used to drink a lot of coffee.

Not quite, but close!
Not quite, but close!

So, call me shallow, but those teeth just weren’t going to work for me. And I myself spent the majority of my life with imperfect teeth so maybe I’m the last person that should be so picky about them. But then again, as I’ve spent over $5,000 and the last year of my life on Invisalign to correct mine, maybe I do feel a little entitled. I don’t know. But whatever imperfections I may have had, my teeth have never been just straight yellow. Yuck.

So…no. This was a definite no-go from the start. But he drove for quite a bit to meet and just because I didn’t feel any attraction to him doesn’t necessitate any rudeness on my part, so I put forth the effort to get to know him for the sake of conversation.

When it was time to leave he walked me to my car, we hugged, and he said he’d like to see me again soon. He hasn’t texted or called since so for all I know I might not have been his cup of tea either. Which would be just fine with me. In fact, I HOPE that’s the case.

Anyway…here we are on the cusp of 2015. Another year gone by and while I’m not exactly where I want to be in life just yet, I’d say I had a good 2014 overall. Job-wise, I made out okay. If I put my mind to it and hustle, I can move up by the end of 2015.

Me-wise…I’m happy with myself. I lost some extra poundage that had snuck up on me over the past several years and have stayed in the gym regularly and I’m loving my body at this point. I want to lose 10 more, but I’ve been wanting that for the past 6 months or so. I’ll get around to it one of these days. As mentioned, my Invisalign has worked wonders and the skyrocketing smile compliments and noticeable improvement to my appearance have been well worth the money and energy. I feel beautiful, and I feel confident. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt like that to this extent.

Romance-wise…eh. I’m still in the same place I was at this time a year ago: chronically single. It’d be nice for that not to be the case one of these days, but one other thing that added confidence has given me is the strength to be less inclined to put up with anyone’s BS and to remain firm in steadfastly refusing to settle for anyone who isn’t absolutely right for me.

My only real “resolution” is to leave all the nonsense from 2014 IN 2014. And that includes certain people.

Like Robbie. Haven’t spoken to him since December 12th and I don’t care to. Haven’t had any more contact with his (ex?) girlfriend and I don’t care to.

Like JP. Haven’t spoken to him since November when I wished him a happy birthday. Which he didn’t bother to answer. As of my latest Facebook stalking endeavors last week or whenever, he and LMDP still seem to be going strong. I guess I was wrong about my 90-day deadline, as well as my ballpark end-of-the-year estimate. And…I don’t really care. Why be worried about some Tinder guy who led me on and stood me up and who I’ve never even met? At the end of the day, given what I know and feel about LMDP, if that’s the kind of girl who makes him instantly fall head over heels, that just goes to show that he and I were ultimately completely unsuited for each other. She and I are opposites. So if that’s what’s floating his boat, then he and I most likely wouldn’t have worked.

Like Blaze. Who, since our episode back in early December, has been sniffing around wanting to hang out here and there. But I know he’s really only after one thing and it doesn’t interest me in the least at this juncture. He’s not offering anything substantial and I’m not interested in whatever he is offering.

Moving forward, moving on…

Boys…

First things first: HAPPY VETERAN’S DAY! I do greatly appreciate everyone who has served to defend and protect our great nation.

Back to our regularly scheduled program…

There was yet another guy from Tinder a couple of weeks back that I was starting to get really into, but as usual, nothing of substance ever materialized from it.

Chester and I first matched in early October and messaged extensively through Tinder for several days before moving on to texting, which is the natural course of these things. I thought he was really cute and I liked his conversation so I decided to give it a go. We met up for drinks one night and clicked and spent the night together. He left my house the next morning and I knew it was a crapshoot as to whether I’d hear from him again, but he maintained contact and seemed to like me. We spent a couple more nights together over the next week. But after the third time I could sense the change. He wasn’t as communicative. I knew his interest was waning for whatever reason. But then when I asked if he wanted to hang out at some point in the upcoming week, he said he did. But then days later he told me he would be too busy that week and it’d have to wait until the next week. Right. I knew what that meant: he’s seeking greener pastures.

But the funny thing about it was, even though he was clearly blowing me off, he would still initiate contact just to shoot the breeze some mornings. It was kind of weird. Just for kicks, nearer the end of his alleged “too busy to hang out” week, I asked about the NEXT week. He said it’d depend on how late he had to work that Monday. Er…okay…whatever that means. Never heard from him that week. I had major stuff going on at work so I wasn’t really focused on him or anyone else anyway. I did send him a text I think that Wednesday night (the one before last) telling him he wasn’t very nice. He answered the next day and said that he’s been really busy, and as I had probably guessed, talking to somebody. I told him that’s fine because I have as well…on both counts.

And that was that. Haven’t spoken to him since and don’t intend to. He was really good looking and we had a good time, and I was starting to really like him, but I’m over it. It is what it is. I don’t even care enough at this point to try to even contemplate what went wrong. Whatever.

And I have been talking to someone else. This guy, Robbie, I met also through none other than Tinder. We matched a while back though. I wanna say like maybe mid-September. We progressed to texting as well but I was never really sure about him because he had a bit of a sleazy, sex-hound vibe about him but then it seemed like he was actually interested in really dating as well at the same time. We texted for a week or so then it fell off around the time I started talking to Chester. We were supposed to meet for lunch or dinner one Friday but he didn’t reach out to me and I didn’t reach out to him since I was more focused on Chester, so it didn’t happen. Naturally, once Chester and I seemed to be on the outs I started paying more attention to Robbie again. And then I started realizing that I actually like Robbie. He is a bit of a pervert but at the same time our conversations aren’t always sexually focused. We’re in the same profession, which I always like, he seems decently intelligent, he’s good looking, and I like talking to him.

BUT…I haven’t met him. We had tentative plans to hang out on Halloween but when I asked him that day he said he’d be too busy and canceled. In his defense, he did have a lot going on at work and he has a significant hockey tryout coming up that he’s really excited about so I know he’s been focused on that. And our work schedules have been conflicting somewhat. But still, it kind of unnerves me that he hasn’t made more of an effort to try and meet me.

Even still, we seem to click really well. We text throughout the day every day and it kind of “feels” like we’re dating, but clearly nothing can be real until we meet. I do kind of like this kid though. I’m no fool and am still entertaining Tinder guys somewhat and talking to other people here and there…but Robbie is my front runner. We just need to meet in person and see if we click there as well. In person is what counts.

And finally…the JP saga continues. So, he texted me that one time in the middle of the night and then seemed to be ignoring my texts and calls after that. I finally got a reply back from him about a week and a half later…he said he’d been flying a lot and on vacation. With LMDP of course. I bit the bullet and asked him why he really hit me up but in lieu of answering the question he deflected by remarking on his “loving relationship” and the loyalty he has to his girlfriend, which had nothing to do with what I had asked.

I got annoyed with that whole devoted boyfriend act and basically just told him everything I think: He might be content, but he’s not happy. If he were happy, he wouldn’t feel the need to reach out to a girl he’s never met in the middle of the night. He’s too nice of a guy to ever break up with LMDP for no real cause but it’s clear that he knows he bet on the wrong pony. I continued on a course of conversation along those lines, being completely honest with my assessment of this situation, and of his retarded girlfriend (for instance, how every activity of theirs must apparently be documented with dozens of pictures for Facebook purposes) but he clammed up and would only respond with terse acknowledgements (“Ok“) and/or stupid emoticons. I told him she may be good looking and maybe even fun, but it’s obvious that something is missing and it’s ultimately unsatisfying. I had a lot to say. But it all seemed to be falling on deaf ears so I finally just wished him well.

I didn’t break contact with him for good though, admittedly. I continued to send him random texts here and there over the ensuing weeks. Just to say I was thinking about him and hoped he was being safe in the sky. I sent him some pictures from a photo shoot I did, which he acknowledged positively. But that’s really the only time he responded to me. Otherwise he ignored me.

So imagine my surprise when I wake up Halloween morning to a Facebook message from him. I’m going away to Jamaica this weekend and I had told him about it previously. He was asking me how the trip is but he was clearly confused because I hadn’t gone yet. I told him so, but mentioned that it was funny he asked because I dreamed about it the night before. “It” meaning the trip. He thought I meant I dreamed about him because he asked what he was doing in the dream, and if he was “being manly” and protecting me somehow. He said he had a layover at an airport not too far from me two nights before and should’ve texted me. (Interesting, being as during our last conversation when I was telling him how ridiculous I think his relationship is and once again proposed that we meet, he declined due to his spectacular relationship. Hmm…) His birthday is 4 days before mine (which is coming up) so I asked what he was doing and he said going to Ireland. And then he told me to send him some bikini pics from my trip. Really?

I was undecided about whether or not I was going to wish him a happy birthday, but I relented and did. He didn’t answer. Jackass.