Well That Didn’t Go Well

I’m starting to notice a pattern in which it seems to always come to pass that as soon as I deem a guy’s involvement in my life worth writing about, things pretty much immediately take a turn for the worse. Ancient blogger’s curse, maybe? Hmm…

What I find especially amusing is that I started this entry with only one account of an ill-fated romance to relay. And just like that, in the midst of writing about that one, another potential romance met its untimely demise. I’m really on a roll this week.

Firstly, there was Robbie, whose saga came to a disastrous end last Sunday.

We ended up meeting in person on the night of November 12th. And when I say we met…that was it. It wasn’t anything even remotely approaching a date. We met in a dark parking at 10:00 at night. Certainly not the most ideal way to meet someone in person for the first time, but I took what I could get.

It was kind of like a “now or never” moment in my mind. That coming Saturday I was headed off with a group of friends to a Caribbean vacation for 7 nights. So it seemed to me that, as I’d be out of the country and thus only able to maintain limited contact with him, it would most likely be a defining point in whatever it was we had brewing. As it stood up until that night, we hadn’t met in person yet, so even if we had been interacting for quite a while now in a pseudo-dating capacity, it wasn’t quite real yet. And without it being real, in the face of irregular contact during my week abroad, the possibility existed in my mind that it could just disappear into thin air. Our only connection thus far had been based solely on texts and pictures. If you take the majority of that away but don’t have the memory of the live person in the flesh to hold on to, then you don’t have much left. So I found it kind of crucial that we meet before then.

And I got my wish. There we were, face-to-face at last. He was exactly what I expected, and I was satisfied. It seemed like he was as well. We sat, we talked, we fooled around some. He started texting me before I even made it home to sing my praises, so I figured that was a good sign. This guy must like me. And it was official: I liked him as well. And now I could stop feeling stupid about it because we’d actually met. My feelings had been validated.

Before we parted ways that night, he said we could get breakfast or something Friday morning before he left town for a hockey event. But that never came to pass due to him waking up too late. I was really looking forward to seeing him again before I left for my trip, but no worries…I just knew that we’d keep in touch the best we could while I was away and that we’d continue where we left off when I got back.

Only things didn’t quite turn out that way. I mean, why would they? As long as my love life remains a complete calamity, at least I know all is right in the world.

So as to avoid paying $10.00 a text under exorbitant international roaming rates, I resorted to messaging him on Facebook. He was responsive initially but then became less so as time went on. And something about being able to see through Facebook that your messages were read at a certain time makes the fact that you have no reply seem especially egregious as opposed to when this happens during regular texting. By the middle of the week when things still weren’t improving, I kind of called him out on it. He told me to “stop being weird,” that he’d been sick and busy at work. Mmmkay. I mean….I’m thousands of miles away with several good friends of mine on a vacation that had been planned for a year, waking up every day in a Jamaican tropical paradise where my only worries are which bikini I’m going to put on for breakfast and which drink I’m going to start with once I hit the pool immediately following.

Sunset in paradise
Sunrise in paradise!

And somehow I still managed to keep in touch with him. But okay…you’re busy and sick. Got it.

But no worries. I figured we’d sort everything out once I got back and were able to talk normally again. Only even after I returned I was still sensing some distance.

When all was said and done the bottom line ended up being that he didn’t like how I had “assumed we were like bf and gf,” and that he had been worried because he “didn’t want a committed relationship right now.” Yep…here we go.

Firstly, I definitely never “assumed” we were in a relationship. My demeanor toward him hadn’t changed a bit, even since meeting him in person. The way I acted toward him was in the spirit of the vibe we were mutually complicit in creating with other over the past month or so. He had always presented himself as someone who was interested in a dating scenario with me. He was the one always calling me “babe” and remarking on how good of a girlfriend I’d be and how he hoped he’d be able to trust me since I work with a lot of men. He even made a comment a while back as to how cute our babies would be. So…really, dude? I was halfway tempted to inform him that if I thought we were so much in a relationship, I wouldn’t have done what I did with a certain guy I met while on vacation, but I thought that’d be tacky.

In any case, I was starting to sense that the writing was on the wall with him. I’m no fool. He was so gung-ho before we met and then even a little bit afterward…but now he was trying to back off. I guess it was getting a little TOO real for him. It happens. I emphasized that I definitely did not think we were boyfriend/girlfriend, nor was I trying to rush anything. He seemed fine with that.

We had another parking lot rendezvous on Thanksgiving night. Yippee. He got off work late and had to be back early the next morning and yadda, yadda, yadda. I just wanted to see him, so I let it go again. But I was starting to think something was amiss here that this guy seems to always want to meet me in parking lots as opposed to…anywhere else. A restaurant. His house. Something. Are we trying to date or are we completing a drug transaction here? He knew I wasn’t especially pleased with these parking lot meets, so he tried to appease me by saying we could hang out at his house the next night.

We talked here and there throughout the day on Friday. He confirmed that we were hanging out that night at one point. I assumed I’d be hearing from him someone around 6 p.m. when he got off work. 6:00 came and went and I heard nothing. I gave it until shortly before 7 to ask what time we were hanging. I knew I wouldn’t be seeing him that night when he replied back with some BS excuse about how he’ll let me know because he had to go help out a friend first. Uh…right.

And what do ya know? Never heard anything back from him. I gave it almost 2 hours before I inquired as to what the deal was, and got no response. Needless to say, I was pretty pissed. I ended up going out with Carly to blow off some steam. After a couple of doses of alcohol I sent a series of texts to Robbie to let him know what I thought of his poor behavior and this situation.

When he hadn’t answered by the next morning, I was even more pissed, so I followed up by telling him what a dick he is. He wrote back all pissy about me “blowing up his phone,” told me he’d had “something to take care of,” and then iced the cake by threatening to block my number because I’m a “stage 5 clinger.”

Wow…really? I wasn’t sure where all that was coming from. I was disconcerted by the fact that he actually threatened to block my number simply because I sent him a series of justified angry texts after he STOOD ME UP the night before. He was being a dick and it kind of hurt my feelings, but I decided to leave it alone for the rest of the day to let things cool down.

I gave it until Sunday afternoon before trying to talk to him to smooth things over. He didn’t answer immediately and I wasn’t concerned…figured maybe he was at work or whatever. But after a couple of hours I started to get a feeling. I don’t know what possessed me to check Facebook, but I did. I pulled up our vacation message thread and sure enough, his name was blacked out. He had blocked me on Facebook. I hadn’t even talked to him through there since I got back. No need to. But there I was…blocked. So it wasn’t hard to draw the conclusion from there that he had obviously gone ahead and blocked me from texting him as well.

REALLY?!

I was pretty livid. Who the eff does that? You’ve talked to me daily for almost 2 months now. You acted so into me. We seemed to click. We’ve met. We’ve been mildly intimate. I had just seen you on effing Thanksgiving night…and you really freaking blocked me?! Like, actually blocked my phone number? I’ve literally never in my life had anyone do that. And I’ve been a lot more angry and a lot more hysterical and have said way more willfully vicious, vile, outrageous, nasty things to people. So I know when I’m going overboard and probably deserve to be blocked, and I’m pretty sure nothing I had said or done up to that point with Robbie had risen to that occasion. Given the events of Friday night – how vehemently I despise when people break their word and play games with my time – I actually went pretty easy on him.

No worries. I started texting him from another number to ask if he really had the gall to block me. He was angry for some reason and told me to leave him alone and to stop texting him. Called me a psycho. Cursed at me. It was kind of weird. Really? I’m the psycho? You blocked my number off a whim like it was nothing after we had just fooled around in your car not even 48 hours before. But I’m the psycho. Right.

At this point I started to act like a psycho. Oh well. The horse is already out of the barn, right? I was hurt and annoyed and kind of in a state a shock that this guy who I had been talking to for 2 months and had started to believe in had suddenly morphed into such a douchebag of the highest order. So I texted and called just to piss him off even more. Since he was being a first class dick and getting on my nerves, I decided to annoy him in return and let him know how I felt about it. I can be childish like that sometimes, but really, I just thought the way he was acting and what he was doing in trying to erase me from his life as if I never existed was completely unacceptable. Men do things like this and then can’t seem to ever connect their own callous behavior with a woman’s “psycho” reaction. That puzzles me.

I wore him down eventually. In the dozen or so times I called, he went from not answering at all to picking up and hanging up, to picking up, uttering an insult and hanging up, and then finally we managed to have a conversation. During which he told me that I was pissing him off because he was at work and couldn’t concentrate, that he just needs me to stop calling and texting when he asks me to, he wants to “date around,” that he didn’t want to talk to me for “a while,” and that he might hit me up again eventually but for now I’m not to contact him unless he contacts me first. Works for me.

I was pretty bummed for the rest of the day that someone who I had started to trust could suddenly do such a 180 on me, but I’m pretty much over it at this point. I haven’t tried to contact him since and frankly don’t care if I ever hear from him ever again or not. He’s calling me the psycho, but his behavior in those last days was extremely bizarre.

If I were a betting woman, I’d charge his sudden turn for the worse to any one of, or combination of, the following factors:

1. He’s a dick and was only screwing with me all along.

2. He’s had a girlfriend the whole time (which explains why it took us so long to meet even though we live 20 minutes away from each other, and why we only met in parking lots at weird times).

3. He started talking to someone else he likes better.

Whatever.

Boys…

First things first: HAPPY VETERAN’S DAY! I do greatly appreciate everyone who has served to defend and protect our great nation.

Back to our regularly scheduled program…

There was yet another guy from Tinder a couple of weeks back that I was starting to get really into, but as usual, nothing of substance ever materialized from it.

Chester and I first matched in early October and messaged extensively through Tinder for several days before moving on to texting, which is the natural course of these things. I thought he was really cute and I liked his conversation so I decided to give it a go. We met up for drinks one night and clicked and spent the night together. He left my house the next morning and I knew it was a crapshoot as to whether I’d hear from him again, but he maintained contact and seemed to like me. We spent a couple more nights together over the next week. But after the third time I could sense the change. He wasn’t as communicative. I knew his interest was waning for whatever reason. But then when I asked if he wanted to hang out at some point in the upcoming week, he said he did. But then days later he told me he would be too busy that week and it’d have to wait until the next week. Right. I knew what that meant: he’s seeking greener pastures.

But the funny thing about it was, even though he was clearly blowing me off, he would still initiate contact just to shoot the breeze some mornings. It was kind of weird. Just for kicks, nearer the end of his alleged “too busy to hang out” week, I asked about the NEXT week. He said it’d depend on how late he had to work that Monday. Er…okay…whatever that means. Never heard from him that week. I had major stuff going on at work so I wasn’t really focused on him or anyone else anyway. I did send him a text I think that Wednesday night (the one before last) telling him he wasn’t very nice. He answered the next day and said that he’s been really busy, and as I had probably guessed, talking to somebody. I told him that’s fine because I have as well…on both counts.

And that was that. Haven’t spoken to him since and don’t intend to. He was really good looking and we had a good time, and I was starting to really like him, but I’m over it. It is what it is. I don’t even care enough at this point to try to even contemplate what went wrong. Whatever.

And I have been talking to someone else. This guy, Robbie, I met also through none other than Tinder. We matched a while back though. I wanna say like maybe mid-September. We progressed to texting as well but I was never really sure about him because he had a bit of a sleazy, sex-hound vibe about him but then it seemed like he was actually interested in really dating as well at the same time. We texted for a week or so then it fell off around the time I started talking to Chester. We were supposed to meet for lunch or dinner one Friday but he didn’t reach out to me and I didn’t reach out to him since I was more focused on Chester, so it didn’t happen. Naturally, once Chester and I seemed to be on the outs I started paying more attention to Robbie again. And then I started realizing that I actually like Robbie. He is a bit of a pervert but at the same time our conversations aren’t always sexually focused. We’re in the same profession, which I always like, he seems decently intelligent, he’s good looking, and I like talking to him.

BUT…I haven’t met him. We had tentative plans to hang out on Halloween but when I asked him that day he said he’d be too busy and canceled. In his defense, he did have a lot going on at work and he has a significant hockey tryout coming up that he’s really excited about so I know he’s been focused on that. And our work schedules have been conflicting somewhat. But still, it kind of unnerves me that he hasn’t made more of an effort to try and meet me.

Even still, we seem to click really well. We text throughout the day every day and it kind of “feels” like we’re dating, but clearly nothing can be real until we meet. I do kind of like this kid though. I’m no fool and am still entertaining Tinder guys somewhat and talking to other people here and there…but Robbie is my front runner. We just need to meet in person and see if we click there as well. In person is what counts.

And finally…the JP saga continues. So, he texted me that one time in the middle of the night and then seemed to be ignoring my texts and calls after that. I finally got a reply back from him about a week and a half later…he said he’d been flying a lot and on vacation. With LMDP of course. I bit the bullet and asked him why he really hit me up but in lieu of answering the question he deflected by remarking on his “loving relationship” and the loyalty he has to his girlfriend, which had nothing to do with what I had asked.

I got annoyed with that whole devoted boyfriend act and basically just told him everything I think: He might be content, but he’s not happy. If he were happy, he wouldn’t feel the need to reach out to a girl he’s never met in the middle of the night. He’s too nice of a guy to ever break up with LMDP for no real cause but it’s clear that he knows he bet on the wrong pony. I continued on a course of conversation along those lines, being completely honest with my assessment of this situation, and of his retarded girlfriend (for instance, how every activity of theirs must apparently be documented with dozens of pictures for Facebook purposes) but he clammed up and would only respond with terse acknowledgements (“Ok“) and/or stupid emoticons. I told him she may be good looking and maybe even fun, but it’s obvious that something is missing and it’s ultimately unsatisfying. I had a lot to say. But it all seemed to be falling on deaf ears so I finally just wished him well.

I didn’t break contact with him for good though, admittedly. I continued to send him random texts here and there over the ensuing weeks. Just to say I was thinking about him and hoped he was being safe in the sky. I sent him some pictures from a photo shoot I did, which he acknowledged positively. But that’s really the only time he responded to me. Otherwise he ignored me.

So imagine my surprise when I wake up Halloween morning to a Facebook message from him. I’m going away to Jamaica this weekend and I had told him about it previously. He was asking me how the trip is but he was clearly confused because I hadn’t gone yet. I told him so, but mentioned that it was funny he asked because I dreamed about it the night before. “It” meaning the trip. He thought I meant I dreamed about him because he asked what he was doing in the dream, and if he was “being manly” and protecting me somehow. He said he had a layover at an airport not too far from me two nights before and should’ve texted me. (Interesting, being as during our last conversation when I was telling him how ridiculous I think his relationship is and once again proposed that we meet, he declined due to his spectacular relationship. Hmm…) His birthday is 4 days before mine (which is coming up) so I asked what he was doing and he said going to Ireland. And then he told me to send him some bikini pics from my trip. Really?

I was undecided about whether or not I was going to wish him a happy birthday, but I relented and did. He didn’t answer. Jackass.