No Thanx

Shortly into my commute home from work the afternoon before last I received a couple of texts from an unidentified number. I knew immediately who it was upon reading them but I asked “Who’s this?” anyway to make the fact that I was over it ever more poignant.

Guy in question (not important enough to waste an alias on) was someone whom my friend Tyra sent my way a month or so ago. This was apparently someone she met through Bumble and ended up meeting for coffee but didn’t feel any sparks with. For some reason she thought maybe he and I might be a good match, so she asked if I would want to give him a try.

This was somewhere around the time Adam gave me the heave-ho, although I can’t remember for sure whether it was right beforehand or right after. Whatever the case may be, I wasn’t feeling it at first since  guy and Adam just so happen to share the same first name. I thought that would be in poor taste.

At some point after the Adam situation imploded I gave in and told Tyra she could pass my number along. He started texting me and we exchanged a few pictures; he looked decent and seemed to have a high opinion of my looks, but it was hard for me to feel any real interest in the wake of the Adam debacle and especially since this guy didn’t seem to be making any moves to actually meet up.

He finally decided to make that move a couple of weeks ago, and we settled on Thursday evening. When I told him what town I lived in, he said he’d scout out a place for us to go down my way. The day before, I asked him if he’d figured anything out yet and he replied that he hadn’t thus yet and said his day had been hectic.

Admittedly, he slipped my mind for the rest of that day and it didn’t occur to me that I never heard anything back from him until Thursday evening. It was cold, rainy, and dreary and I wasn’t terribly pressed to go out in weather like that or with him to begin with, but I would’ve held up my end of he bargain if we had solidified plans so I was a little ticked that I never heard anything more from him. I sent my patented “Or not” to him, which he never responded to. Some time over the course of the weekend when he came to mind again and I realized he had never responded, I deleted his number and went on with my life.

For some reason he decided 2 weeks later was the appropriate time to randomly offer some half-ass apology, his excuse being that he figured I would be pissed and that he should’ve been better at communication.

Right, buddy.Unfortunately, the time to apologize would’ve been around the time you essentially stood me up 2 weeks ago.

As soon as he responded to my faux inquiry into his identity, I deleted his texts. Extraordinarily not interested. Logic kind of dictates that if this is the way he sees fit to act before we even have yet to meet, then it would only get worse from here.

Dating in the early stages, including any precursory period, is like a job interview…when you’re supposed to display your most polished and refined self to make the best impression possible. At least for normal people. Thus it could be deduced that either this IS his best impression, which is not a good one, or that he doesn’t really care about making one. Neither alternative is appealing.

I find my patience these days with men and/or peoples’ bullshit in general to be precariously thin.

I gave ElliotOh He Who Ignores My Texts More Often Than Not – his just desserts recently as well when he texted me about some minor Facebook drama centered around a particular colleague of ours. I didn’t even bother answering. Just like he does me most of the time.

It’s the small victories…

Motion in the Ocean

The weekend before this past one I met Carly down at the beach. She and her mom had rented a condo for the week and she mentioned a little while ago that I could come down if I wanted, so I did. She and her mom rented the condo for Saturday to Saturday; I ended up going down a day early since my Friday was free and staying with them until Tuesday night.

Friday night was tricky because trying to find last-minute lodging for just the one night in an area that already demonstrates an impressive penchant for price-gouging  was not fiscally optimal. I was not keen on spending $200.00 for what would essentially amount to dropping my bag off, going out for the evening, coming back home drunk to crash and then leaving the next morning to meet Carly and her mom.

And thus, this was my first adventure with Airbnb. I had signed up to explore my options once in the past, but I had never actually patronized it before. It didn’t take me long to find a satisfactorily priced room a mere 20 minutes from town which was fine for my purposes. Just a quick Uber ride away to the bars. The room was $85.00 plus a $10.00 fee which put me at under $100.00, so that worked. Even with the cost of Ubering, it was still cheaper than a hotel overall.

The host was a single girl and her invalid dog (recent ACL surgery) who was very communicative in the days beforehand to welcome me and to make sure I found it okay. And I did. It was an older house, but well-kept and clean and suitable for my needs. The host was friendly and inviting. The room worked well for its purpose and there were no issues, but it did feel a bit uncomfortable being a guest in a stranger’s house while they are there. I interacted with her for a total of less than 10 minutes overall – when I got there, when I was headed out for the night, and then in the morning – and she was definitely nice, but it was just the slightest bit awkward. I’m generally a pretty fastidious person when it comes to neatness and cleanliness, but I felt an extra bit of obligation and pressure to leave as little mess and to make my presence as unnoticeable as possible. But all-in-all, it was good in a pinch. It’s probably better when you’re renting a spot that the owner doesn’t occupy. And what’s even better than all of that is not being the person who rents his/her space out to strangers – there’s no way in hell I could ever do that.

In any case, I went out to a couple of seaside bars for the night, got inebriated, and came home and slept until the mid-morning as planned. I explored the downtown area of the host’s town for a little while and then made my way to Carly’s condo.

As it happened, Scout was in town as well. He and his family had come down to a nearby city the day before to visit a son at college, and then on Saturday he would be sending his family home and staying over to hang out with some military buddies. We were in sporadic contact throughout the day and then once Carly, her mom, and I headed out for the evening, I told him where we were and he eventually came and met us with one of his buddies, Jake.

A glorious night of drinking and general camaraderie ensued. I’d met Carly’s mom before but had never drank with her – she’s pretty young-spirited and fun to hang out with. She got her drink on like the rest of us and really meshed with Scout and Jake. Carly had only hung out with Scout with me once, and that was WAAAAY back in 2014 when he and I first met, so it was great for us to all be able to interact together. At one point Scout asked me to ask Carly if she was feeling Jake or not. She said she wasn’t and I told Scout so but something changed at some point because when it started getting late we put her mom in a cab back to the condo and we went to chill with Jake and Scout in their hotel room.

Sooner or later Carly passed out with Jake in his bed, and thus Scout and I took the opportunity to have college-style sex (you know…the kind when other people are in the room) and then we followed suit with the sleep. We all woke up pretty early the next morning and spent a couple of hours fluctuating between conversations, sleep, and more sex (at least on Scout and I’s part). Before we left, Jake and Carly exchanged numbers and I hugged and kissed Scout goodbye thinking that he would be on his way back home after he spent some of the day with his son. Commence the Uber of shame.

Carly and I spent most of the day lying out by the pool during which she got several texts from Jake indicating that he wanted to hang out that night (even though he had to commute back home at some point to work the next morning). I would eventually discover through their conversation and then my own inquiries of Scout that Scout actually wasn’t leaving that day, but staying over until Monday. I hadn’t realized that before…I thought he was leaving after he spent the day with his son. I was happy to hear it though, because that meant another night with him.

Carly and I ventured out sans-mom in the early evening, not really sure when Jake and Scout would be showing up. We ended up hanging out with a nice group of guys who never let us pay for a sole drink the whole night no matter how much we tried. We actually left with them briefly to go to another bar, but we came back to the original one once one of their friends, who was a total dick, got kicked out of the second one somehow literally within 2 minutes of us getting there.

My memory starts fading as to exactly when Jake and Scout showed back up (this was vacation drinking we’re talking about, after all…not the run-of-the-mill sort). Per my texts, it was apparently close to 10:30 p.m., but I don’t really remember much about interacting with them at the bar. I vaguely remember us going our separate ways at some point – Jake and Carly back to the condo, me and Scout back to his hotel – and imploring Scout to order me a pizza, which I may or may not have eaten any of before passing out. The next thing I knew, it was 4 in the morning and I woke up in bed alone. I looked to the other bed, which had previously been Jake’s, and saw a figure there that I assumed to be him. But where was Scout? WTF! I found my phone and scribbled out a text: Where are you? Then I remembered the pizza and walked to the far side of the room to take a bite of a slice. When I was coming back over toward my bed, I looked to the shadowy figure in the other one and realized that it was, in fact, Scout. Oh. When I crawled into bed with him and asked why he slept apart from me, he said it was because I had passed out in the other bed diagonally with my limbs all askew, leaving him no room to get in. My bad.

We snuggled for the rest of the night, woke up the next morning and got some quick sex in, and then I texted Carly with my ETA and told her to prepare some sandwiches and liquor so that we could go to the beach. I helped Scout pack (or really, just oversaw it so that he was sure he didn’t leave anything behind), and then he drove me back to Carly’s and we hugged and kissed goodbye for real.

Carly and I did the beach thing for a little while, during which I had a visit from my old friend, Stallion, who works over that way now. I walked a little bit off the beach to meet him at his car on his way to a meeting. I hadn’t seen him in years. I’ve changed quite a bit physically since we last saw each other,which was obviously to his pleasant surprise. He didn’t look so bad himself. We had tentative plans to meet for lunch the next day, but that never came to fruition. If I had to take a gander, I’d say that was because he started sending me texts later that Monday night about how he was “thinking about me” and just generally flirty sentiments that made it obvious that he was hoping we’d hook up and I was so not even remotely into that with him. Ew.

Back to Monday: I noticed via Facebook that some acquaintances of ours were down at the beach too, so I got in contact with them and Carly and mom and I met them later in the evening for a grand drunken extravaganza. Carly ended up falling on the dance floor. I felt bad for laughing (then and still now when I think about it), but it was hilarious. And also our cue to exit. Poor thing…I keep telling that girl to stop with those high heels if she knows she’s going to get tipsy (she also fell Saturday night too in front of Jake and Scout).

We had a low-key Tuesday, as I had to hit the road at some point, which ended up being later rather than sooner. I didn’t make it home until after 10 p.m. but it was worth it. I feel bad because my aunt lives not far from the beach, on the way back to my house, and I told her I’d stop by to see her on my way back but I left too late to do that and didn’t call or anything. Ugh.

Not much to report for the rest of last week. I haven’t heard from or talked to anyone substantial. Friday night I was invited out to happy hour by a coworker. I hadn’t planned on going out but I decided to go for it since I knew I was staying in for most of the weekend. I went and saw some old friends and had a good time. Elliot ending up coming out and being quite friendly. Definitely not the way he is over text. But later as he got drunker he started talking about how in love he is with his girlfriend. *Vomit* Not that I care as I’m not hugely into him like that as it stands. Okay…I care a little. But not, like, significantly. Whatever.

The majority of my Saturday consisted of vodka and season 2 of Narcos on Netflix, which was another Grand Slam.

On Sunday, my friend Hannah and I met at the mall and I spent about $500.00 on clothes that I didn’t need and can barely fit in my closet. But it was retail therapy for Hannah’s benefit because she’s going through a tough situation concerning her husband and his evil ex-wife. So, I think that’s excusable although I really don’t need to buy any more clothes for the rest of the year.

Hannah is going with a group of girls back to the beach next weekend to HER condo, and I’ve been invited along. I wasn’t sure how in the mood I was for it, but she sounded disappointed when she sensed my hesitation about it, so I told her I would come. So first thing Friday after work, I’m heading down again. Just until Sunday this time. I’m sure more drunken antics will ensure.

In the meantime, I’m 5 pounds down at least.

And The Others…

Well there’s Scout, and then there are all the rest of them…

The Wiley situation isn’t quite deceased yet, but it is on life support. His birthday was actually that same week after we had our minor tiff. I oscillated mentally between whether I wanted to wish him a happy birthday or not but in the end I decided it’d be rude of me not to, so I did. He thanked me and that was the extent of that conversation.

A few days after that, after I’d gotten his birthday gift prettily boxed, I took a picture of it and texted it to him, to which he did not respond. That was discouraging, but no worries, because the things I got are not so much for him as they are for “us”…I figured it was way too early and we were way too much of a malleable thing for me to get him something personal, but I did want to acknowledge his birthday with something tangible being as at least at the time, the situation seemed semi-promising. But in the event that it suddenly did go south I didn’t want to be stuck with an abandoned gift that was too personalized to give to anyone else, so this is naughty stuff I can use with anyone. And when he didn’t answer I figured that’d probably end up being the case.

I gave it another whirl the Sunday before last. I realized that that past weekend he would’ve been busy with the then-upcoming Republican National Convention, and that that Monday started the Democratic National Convention, so I’m sure he was still embroiled in a whirlwind of political mayhem, but I wanted to at least maintain the lines of communication…to at least make an effort on my end not to let it “die by neglect,” as he had remarked once. So I simply texted him saying I hope all is well. Nothing again.

Blah. At that point, with 2 non-responses in the bucket over the course of a week I figured the writing was on the wall – we’re done. And I wasn’t really that sad about it. It is what it is…I liked him, but we hadn’t had the chance to really heat up to the point where his exit would cause me any significant distress. It was more of in the sense that I really don’t like to lose at anything.

Yet Wiley once again randomly quelled all suspicions and fears when he texted me out of the blue that Monday night with a picture of what I assume was his view of Michelle Obama at the Democratic National Convention. I sent a smiley back, figuring he probably wouldn’t respond that night given his obvious location. I was hoping maybe he would on Tuesday, but nope. Later in the week with nothing better to do, I took a quick selfie of me lying in bed (PG-13ish) and sent it to him. Nothing as of yet. The conventions are long over, so at this point I have no idea.

Making the effort to reach out with the picture demonstrated that he was making an valiant effort to stay on the radar – or so I thought. As we haven’t talked in a couple of weeks I’m not exactly sure what his schedule was supposed to be post-conventions. He’d mentioned vacations and family activities up until the second week of August, so I guess we’ll see when the time comes if I hear from him or not.

In other news, I seemed to have caught a coworker’s interest as a result of some drunken antics some weeks back when I made some alcohol-induced romantic overtures and thus opened a door I’m not sure I really wanted to open. I’ve known Manny for a while as a colleague. He’s nice and I guess I’d say attractive though not exactly swoon-worthy, but I don’t really feel a strong romantic interest. He’s trying though. He invited me to go to a wine festival with him 3 Sundays ago, and when we talked about it the day before I said I was in, but I didn’t really want him monopolizing my whole Sunday so I feigned illness early the next morning. Mean – I know. Since then he has offered to cook me dinner via text and I’ve seen him out and he’s mentioned going out to dinner and all that. This past Saturday he texted asking if I wanted to plan something for Sunday, but I blew him off and said maybe next week. He didn’t answer. Eh.

Let’s see…Elliot and I have been moderately communicative lately. I hadn’t talked to him for a while when several weeks ago he texted me about something work-related and from there somehow over the course of some days we delved into sexual territory. And I’d say over the course of the weeks since then we’ve spoken about a litany of subjects – a lot of work and politics – and that he seems generally like he’s making a moderate effort to not be so wishy-washy with his responses. He still sometimes drops off the face of the earth during a conversation, but there were a couple of times he actually seemed apologetic about not answering due to work and what not. So it’s a mix, but I do generally think we’ve reached a happy medium where it’s clear we are attracted to each other but I guess with his girlfriend or whatever is going on there, nothing’s going to happen on that front at this time. But I really like talking to him and we mesh very well in our political and general philosophies so I’m satisfied with having him as a sounding board of sorts when I want to talk about certain things.

I actually happened to see him in passing at work last week (Monday), which was the first time we’d crossed paths since the Memorial Day 5K we ran. I had to retrieve something from my car in the garage, but ran into someone else I know right outside the door of the building and was making idle chit chat when Elliot comes out with some other coworkers. He saw me and greeted me and then went on his way. But then it turned out that the area where my car was actually an area he was venturing to as well; when I saw him down that way again with his crew I made sure to play it smooth and not even acknowledge him again or look in his direction. When I got what I needed and was walking off, he made a point of saying something to me and sucking me into conversation with he and the other coworkers for a couple of minutes. And hence I was glad I wore a cute dress to work that day and generally looked pretty hot – for exactly potential moments like those.

What’s interesting is that there is a work conference coming up in two weeks that he and I will both be in attendance at, among other colleagues and other general industry professionals. It involves several nights of a hotel stay, so we shall see if any new developments arise from that.

There had been little-to-no activity on the Tinder front lately on my part, but I’ve done some swiping recently. I had turned off all notifications from pushing through to my phone because they were annoying me, so I had no idea when people were writing to me back or when I was getting matches or what have you until I took the time to open the app. I lost a few people from the neglect, but whatevs. I turned notifications for messages back on at least for now, until it starts irritating me again. Taking it with a grain of salt, as usual.

There was one recent blast from the past that popped up out of the blue. He was a Navy sailor I matched with around the middle of last summer when I went to Virginia Beach the first time, but we didn’t start talking until after I had left already. But we seemed to connect and he was the front-runner there for a little bit, to the point where when he deployed he gave me his ship email address and we exchanged emails for a little while until his contact started getting more and more sporadic. I called him on it and he seemed to give some BS excuse so I wrote him off. He reestablished contact at some point while I was already Reed-crazy, but when I told him the deal he shoved off again. I hit him up after the disaster that was Japan to kind of test the waters but he didn’t seem very interested. Oh well.

Last week I got a text from a random number and it was him. He was disappointed  when he found that I didn’t have his number in my phone any longer. Why would I? I’m not in the habit of keeping phone numbers in my phone for the sake of having them if I don’t expect to talk to someone again – double that for someone I’ve never even met. He said he had just been going through his contacts when my name popped up and he wanted to say hi. His real intention seemed to be letting me know that he’d be in my neck of the woods later this year. Cordial conversation, but I wasn’t really that eager. I wasn’t rude or terse, but I didn’t go out of my way to be particularly flirtatious and perhaps he picked up on that because I haven’t heard from him since even though the conversation was left pretty open-ended. I did add him back to my contacts though.

This guy Chester and I still talk sporadically. Despite our humble Tinder beginnings never translating into nothing much beyond a few hookups, we’ve remained in contact and are maybe even sort of friends. He mostly only texts me when he seems to be in a randy sort of mood, but here and there he will make normal innocuous contact to check up on me. I actually would hook up with him again if he wanted to make the effort to plan a night instead of his pattern of impromptu hinting or overt requests for me to come over. He lives 40 minutes from me, so I’m never really keen on putting in that much effort for just an old-news hookup.

Then there’s a guy from work who has come sniffing around out of the blue just yesterday. I met him last week at an evening work event – don’t recall ever seeing him before prior to that. I was sitting at a table talking to an acquaintance and he sat down to converse with said acquaintance as well. But when he first sat down I picked up on the several glances he shot my way in that whole looking-but-trying-not-to-be-obvious sort of way. We made idle chit chat as a trio and then as more people sat and joined off an on; I thought he was pretty cute and interesting but he mentioned a girlfriend so I didn’t think much of it.

Well he emailed me out of the blue at work yesterday, ostensibly about a work matter but it was an obviously thinly-veiled attempt to speak to me as there was really no point to his email. I thought it was cute though. Even more so when after a few exchanges of pleasantries he found a reason to slip his phone number in under the guise of being able to get me on the field for an NFL practice. I texted him to tell him I appreciate it but I wouldn’t be able to make it that night.

His response was that he would have to find out another way for us to run into each other. He proceeded to ask what my schedule was and where exactly my office is; he was working in the evening but wanted to stop by beforehand. He did text me later to do so but by the time I answered 5 minutes later he was already occupied. But he continued texting me throughout the evening  and even surprised me with a phone call which resulted in a 35-minute conversation. He said he’d swing by today in the afternoon. We shall see. He’s obviously interested…but in what is a mystery because he definitely said he had a girlfriend last week. So…

Then there’s yet ANOTHER guy who I’ve been Facebook friends with for a while due to being in the same profession and having mutual friends, but had actually never met until several weeks ago. He has been displaying a lot of interest in recent weeks with messages and conversations. He lives not far from me and was supposed to cook me dinner one night and I was all for it until a genuine last-minute schedule change caused me to have to reschedule. We’ve so far not been able to align our schedules up for another try, but he gets points for bringing me McDonald’s hangover food one Sunday several weeks ago when Carly and I crashed in my living room from the night before. Seems attractive, I guess. Maybe worth exploring.

Who knows…