Or not. It’s been over 4 months now. At this point I’m going to go on the record and officially declare myself sexually frustrated. It’d be nice to be squirming in ecstasy underneath a hot man right about now but nope…here I am, a hot sweaty mess (I just came in from a run), sitting in front of the TV with my laptop. I’ve been eating a lot of cereal. But Cinnamon Toast Crunch, while a close substitute for sex, doesn’t hit the spot quite as well.


It’s funny…I’ve gone through longer droughts in my younger days (late teens/early 20s) and don’t remember ever being as bothered. I suppose that as I’ve matured over the years and experienced different types of lovers and sex, I’ve become much more of a sexual person. I’ve also learned more about what I like and what good sex really is.

I definitely haven’t gone this long without for lack of opportunity or offers. I’m just being really selective. I’m waiting for someone to come along that I’m into because that always makes for better sex. To have sex solely for the sake of doing it, it’d have to be someone that I already know will do my body good from experience and unfortunately, I’m not on speaking terms with any of those people, such as Pretty Ricky or Mr. Smooth. I’d even do Curly but he plays too many games and it’s not that serious.

Dimples and I continue to flirt heavily from time to time, but he’s already told me he’s only interested in sex and I’m not for being anyone’s bootycall right now. That’s not to say that he isn’t tempting…he has a reeeeeeally nice body…

There’s another guy from work, Yellowtail, that I’ve become progressively more cool with over the past several months. We’d been exchanging flirty texts on the regular, but as of late the conversations have become a little more dirty. I am attracted to him, but I’m still trying to stick to keeping my hands out of the colleague cookie jar. Plus, he’s starting to turn me off because he’s turning EVERYTHING into a sexual innuendo now that we’ve crossed that line, and it’s annoying. I like to play and flirt, but every conversation doesn’t need to be sexual. Serious overkill.

Random pretty cat that followed me around today.

I’ve recently begun talking to Stallion again. It’s not that we weren’t talking on purpose, but after all that drama concerning the Professor situation a month ago, I kept my distance from everyone in that little circle, including him. It’s not like he was reaching out to me anyway. He swears he doesn’t recall Zorro saying anything about me at the lunch that day. Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Of COURSE he’d cover for his boys – bros before hoes. But I’m not mad at him for that.

In other news, I went to a “gentlemen’s club” on Friday evening – my first strip club ever! Me and my coworkers were taking another out to celebrate a quasi-promotion. He was supposed to meet us at the strip club, but he ran late. Me and 2 coworkers were there for about an hour. We sat at the bar mostly and then eventually moved to a table on the outskirts of the stage area. I was intrigued by the dancers but not really impressed. And we really weren’t feeling the OUTRAGEOUS drink prices ($29.00 for a margarita, a Corona, and a vodka cranberry…really?!), so we decided to dip out to go a regular bar. On the way out, another coworker I’d invited was just getting there and he wanted to go in still, so I went back in with him while the other 2 went to the other bar.

I had a much more interesting time the second time around. My coworker bought me drinks and we sat by the stage. A stripper started talking to us and he bought her a shot of Patron. She went up and danced and she was impressive. The coworker gave me dollar bills and I went up to tip her several times. She deserved it. She really worked that pole. I like the pole tricks more than anything. Anyone can come out and roll and grind their body to music. I can do that shit. The pole acrobatics are what get me though. She came and sat with us again after her routine. She was pretty nice. I mean of course, she was trying to get my coworker to buy her drinks because that’s how they make the club money (and he did buy her another shot of Patron), but she seemed genuinely nice though.

We were only there for about an hour or so. My other coworkers were wondering where we were and said that the guest of honor was on his way to where they were, so we made our way there to continue the good time.

I’d go to a strip club again. It was pretty hot once I got into it and the dancers got better. I have absolutely no interest in watching male dancers though. I think that’s fruity. The thought of a man in a g-string dancing suggestively does not turn me on in the least.


So as I thought, nothing came of Mr. Smooth’s threat. I was never worried about it – he’s a lot of things to me at this point, but “stupid” isn’t one of them. He was just pissed off, and that’s exactly what I was trying to do – make him angry. I wanted to push his buttons. I get like that when I’ve reached my breaking point. Once my feelings have been stomped on once and twice and thrice and then so many times I can no longer count, I WILL lash out eventually. Once I see that a man won’t be affected by my sentiment, then I’ll try another way to get a reaction out of him – anger. That usually works.

I will be the most vile, vicious, ignorant creature alive. I’m not particularly proud of it, but I figure that since I keep my viciousness strictly on a verbal level, I’m actually giving a lot of these people a break. I’ve talked a lot of trash and said a lot of evil shit to men in my lifetime, but I’ve never busted any windows or slashed any tires or anything like that. I’ve FELT like doing it, but I have to draw the line somewhere. Not worth the risk.

So yeah, I don’t think me and Mr. Smooth will ever be cool again. And actually, I don’t care. Since I bitched him out, I’ve felt great. I’ve hardly ever thought about him or anything. I saved all the texts in my phone and look at them from time to time because they amuse me.

I went to the work watering hole last night and hung out for a little bit. After I left I met up with Stallion to catch up since he was working. I revealed Mr. Smooth’s identity to him. I’d told him tidbits about that whole saga in the past, but I stopped short of telling him who it was because they know each other and I wasn’t sure what might come of that. At this point, it doesn’t matter though. I don’t think they’re friends and/or hang out like that or anything anyway. So I let the cat out of the bag. I sensed a little bit of jealousy.

I did learn that Mr. Smooth has separated from his wife. That would explain why he was all up “Marie’s” ass at the party filled with people who know his wife. Stallion apparently heard that Mr. Smooth left his wife FOR someone else – possibly “Marie” – but he didn’t know for sure. But the way he heard it, someone was basically like “He left his wife for that…?” So I ain’t the only one thinking Marie just isn’t the business. But hey…you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. If some mediocre/average chick is worth his marriage to him, then more power to him. Maybe her pussy is made of diamonds or something.

I still have the hugest crush on Professor, by the way. A friend from work does now too. She called me last night while I was out talking about she just saw him and he’s fuckin’ hot. I was like DUH I told you. The Hippie route seems to be a dead end. A few weeks back when I was still bugging Hippie about it on the regular, he mentioned me to Professor again and said that Professor said that we’d get together soon. Obviously nothing’s come from that. Hippie ended up bitching me out for constantly bothering him about it. He said that if Professor were interested he’d have tried to set something up by now. True, but not quite. The man’s only seen me in pictures. I guarantee if I can just run across him one time in person, it’ll be a done deal. From what I heard, and keep hearing, he’d be all over this. *Sigh*

Still no sex for me. Lots of offers and opportunities, but just not feeling anyone like that. Maybe I’m a lesbian now or something.

I briefly entertained the idea with Dimples again. The more I see him, the sexier he seems to get. He has a really nice body…rock hard arms. Yum. We were texting last week and he told me for the sake of honesty that he was sleeping with someone I’m cool with, though not necessarily friends with. No clue who that is but I figure that if she’s not a friend then it doesn’t matter to me. Then he started talking about not wanting to settle down and all that. I texted him some last night but that didn’t go anywhere. I don’t think we’ll ever have sex.

I played with Stallion for a little bit last night by flashing him a few times and stuff, and then of course he started asking about coming over after work. Definitely not interested in having sex with him. I just like teasing him, it’s fun.

I don’t think I’ll ever have sex.

Ho Hum

My life is extremely uninteresting at the moment. I don’t do anything these days but go to work, go to the gym or for a run, and…well, that’s it. On the plus side, my body is looking better. On the downside…I’m totally boring. I barely ever go out anywhere.

I’ve worked a good bit of overtime lately to make some extra money since I’m poverty-stricken. Or maybe not that bad off, but pretty close. It’d be nice if I could acquire a “sponsor” of some sort. If he could be under 50 and hot, that’d be excellent. Like a high-powered attorney. Yummy. I love a man in a nice suit. I can pay all of my own bills, I just need more spending money.

I haven’t had any sex since April 18, which is a blower. There’s no one I’m really dying to have sex with either. There is Curly, who was the source of my April 18th tryst. He’s handsome, his body is beautiful, and he’s great in bed, but nevertheless, I’m not really into him like that. I WAS when we met months back but he didn’t seem very receptive to building a friendship or anything beyond so I fell back. And now…it’s whatever. He’s actually been texting me today on the sexual tip. Don’t get me wrong, I would have sex with him if it’s convenient, I’m just not going to jump through hoops to do so.

Then there’s Dimples. I can’t really decide how I feel about him. We’ve had a strong flirtatious sort of thing going on for almost a year now. I can’t really decide if I’m attracted to him though. He’s cute, I guess, if not exactly handsome. Maybe it’s just that I’m not into bald heads. He has a nice body though…dresses nice at work. A few days ago he wanted me to come over straight from work since he lives nearby. I wasn’t feeling it though. I was too tired, and plus he mentioned his young son was on his way home and it seemed like it wouldn’t be exactly a mood-setting environment, even if his son was going straight to bed.

The main thing is he works out of my building and I’ve already learned that hard lesson with Pretty Ricky, as I may have mentioned.

Or it could be that I just don’t really wanna fuck him, I guess. He’s totally fun to flirt with though. Maybe you need that sometimes…someone that you flirt with but never have sex with. Sexual tension is sexy.

In other news, I may or may not be closer to scoring my crush, Professor. I went drinking with a new(ish) friend, Hippie, the other night. I mentioned my crush on Professor to him, and apparently, I’d be right up Professor’s alley. Hippie even went so far as to try texting Professor right then and there just to see if he had the right phone number for him still, but he never got an answer. Hopefully it’s just that that in fact was not the correct number for Professor anymore, and not that Professor hates his guts or something. Because then that screws everything up.

Hippie said he’d try emailing him when he went to work Monday. Whether he actually did or not, I don’t know. I talked to him briefly yesterday but he didn’t mention anything. I don’t wanna bug him about it.

Curly claims to be coming to visit tonight when he gets off work at 11. Well…as long as he’s coming to me it’s a go. If he really comes, I’m good. If he doesn’t that’s cool too.

Oh yeah…the high school dude finally got the point after he never got a response to that horrendous “Summer’s Eve” bullshit and his subsequent Facebook chat attempts. He told me he “gots no patience.” GOOD. Go smoke your weed and score yourself a hoodrat who thinks that’s cute. I don’t. He deleted me. Sweet.

And by the way, my check card and IDs and stuff were in fact at my coworker’s house. His roommate found it all for me and I retrieved them eventually. Going a week without access to money is not something I would like to ever do again though.

That is all.