Totally out of the blue, Curly sent me a text early Friday morning, around 1-ish I wanna say – “Wanna do it?” “Do it”…really? What are we, 10th graders? I screwed with him by asking what he meant even though I knew exactly what he was talking about. I reminded him that he told me a couple months ago that he wasn’t interested in having sex with me if I wasn’t willing to fulfill any of his fantasies (which was either a threesome with another girl, or anal).  “So is that a no?” I didn’t even bother answering.

I was actually talking to Dimples at the time. Still the same old back and forth flirting and naughty talk from time to time but we really don’t have any real chemistry. He just has no game. It’s like he just expects me to come over and take my clothes off and that’ll be that. And I think he’d be a selfish lover for some reason.

I went to a retirement celebration for a former coworker Friday night and Pretty Ricky was there. We actually hugged when we greeted each other, which was weird being as for the past year and a half, we’ve not often been on good enough terms to even speak, much less hug. We got to talking and I found out he’s in school trying to finish up his bachelor’s degree and he mentioned that he just got a rough draft of a paper back and the professor really dug into it. I told him I’m a good writer and offered to help him if he needed it. To my surprise, he was actually took me up on it and I gave him my email address so he could send me the rough draft.

That’ll be nothing. Shit, in my college days when I was kind of a athlete groupie, I wrote a couple of papers for a basketball player I was involved with. And they were from scratch, for classes I wasn’t taking. At least I have a rough draft to work from now.

Family Union

Yesterday afternoon, Curtis and his family came out my way and we went out to eat. I’ve talked to him on the phone and via text several times over the last couple of weeks, but this was my first time meeting him in person, as well as my sister-in-law and two nieces. It was awesome.

He brought pictures of our dad and him from when he was a tot. He even had a picture of our dad and his mom from their high school prom. I’ve never seen my dad that young. I have plenty of pictures of him, but they’re all from my lifetime. It was interesting to see the life he had more than 20 years before I even existed – the happy husband and father. He’s beaming in all the pictures where’s he’s holding Curtis. It’s adorable. It makes me wonder what happened to make it all fall apart. Curtis still hasn’t told his mother about me so I’m guessing that there’s some animosity there towards our dad.

His wife is really nice, as is his older daughter, who’s about to be 21. His 9-year-old daughter was shy and barely said two words to me for the most part, but I could tell she warmed up to me a little by the end of the outing. I was feeling a little shy myself.

I would so love to be able to develop lasting, substantial relationships with each and every one of them, but I know that it’s going to be a process that will require patience and time. Add to everything the fact that besides me, there are all the cousins and stuff from my dad’s side that Curtis still has yet to meet…yeah, this is going to take a while. But the important thing is that we’ve connected. For that, I am grateful.

Besides all that, it’d be nice to have sex sometime this century, but things aren’t looking too good right now. Dimples and I still dance around the issue on the regular, but he’s always asking me to send him pictures and it annoys me. Not that I don’t dabble in naughty pictures from time to time, but I don’t make a regular practice of it. When I do, it’s with someone I’m involved with and have established some level of trust with (although I always keep pics like that faceless just in case). And being as I’m not fucking Dimples, I don’t see the point. When I’m involved with someone, I do it on occasion to tempt or tease or keep things spicy of course, but if I haven’t fucked someone yet then I’m unsure of what the point would be. You either want to do me or you don’t, no pictures should be necessary. We’re two single adults who live within driving distance of each other, so anything he wants to see he can see in person. If he’s lucky.


Here I Am

So what’s new with me, you ask? Well, nothing much. My dry spell is past the 5 month mark now. Blah.

I’d been talking to Zach here and there, but I noticed that it was me initiating most of the contact lately, so I toned it down some. He’d said something last week about some bad news that got him down, but he refused to tell me what was wrong (men!). Since then I hadn’t talked to him much. On Thursday I sent him a picture of “Pinky”, a porn star he likes. A white boy into big asses – imagine that! He thanked me but didn’t say anything else, even when I asked him how he was. So at that point I was like Fuck it.

Much to my surprise, on Friday night, he sent a text to apologize for being out of touch, and explained that he’s been going through some things lately. Again, this is sooooooooooooo different from the Zach I knew a year ago. That Zach never would’ve said anything like that at all, he just would’ve left me wondering. I’m on the fence when it comes to deciding if he really has changed, or is just trying to play nice to get into my pants again…

Never heard anything from Bizzy besides the once or twice we briefly chatted after our outing in August. Oh well.

I’ve started speaking to Pretty Ricky again in passing. Nothing major – “Hello, sir.” His responses are curt and contain maybe even the slightest hint of annoyance, but I don’t care. I’m prone to holding grudges, but eventually I just get sick of them because it just ends up wasting energy. The bottom line is, ignoring someone still requires paying attention to them – maybe even paying more attention than you would be if things were just normal. Fuck it…I’m just so over it.

I even “poked” Mr. Smooth on Facebook two weeks ago. I don’t even know why, it was kind of spur of the moment. Again, I just want him to know that I’m over it. He didn’t respond, of course. I went out after work on Thursday night and thus I was tipsy on early Friday morning when I got in the house. I sent him a message: “Poke me.” He’s probably like, WTF. Again, don’t care. At this point I’m just amusing myself.

Yellowtail is still actively trying to get it. I could see it happening in a moment of extreme horniness, but otherwise I’m cool on that.

Dimples still tries off and on. He’s the most tempting prospect at the moment, but the fact that he keeps asking me how I’d react if he was talking to other women while we were involved lets me know where his head is at. That would possibly just be a hit-and-quit scenario and that’s not suiting my fancy at the moment. Plus it’s kind of a turn off because it’s so arrogant to assume that I’m just going to start acting out because I might see him talking to another chick or hear about him sleeping with another chick or whatever. He’s scared of workplace drama. I think he’s basing some of his reticence off of rumors of occurrences between me and Pretty Ricky. As with most rumors though, some of it is true, and some isn’t. Regardless, nothing ever occurred at work because I knew it wasn’t appropriate. I prided myself on being able to keep my emotions in check at work as a matter of fact.

Work is going okay. Only “okay” because I’m bored in the position I’m in right now. I’m ready to branch out and try something new now. I need a challenge. Right now I’m just going through the motions, waiting for opportunities to get elsewhere…

I read a good book last week: The Time Traveler’s Wife. The movie was on HBO one night and I watched it and thought it was interesting. If I like a movie that’s based on a book, then I try to read the book because there’s always so much left out of or changed in the movie. I enjoyed the book a lot. It’s about a man who has a genetic disorder that causes him to involuntarily time travel, and his wife of course. Slightly science-fictiony which is usually not my thing, but that whole aspect is addressed in a realistic sense. It’s a love story, overall.

Well, that’s all for now. Until next time…