Boomer

I guess it’s about time I mention the latest and greatest, since it’s *seeming* like it might actually go somewhere. But if history is any indication, as soon as I feel like that might be so then shit will hit the fan and everything will crumble to pieces.

In any case, back in the early part of September I started talking to a gent I’ll call Boomer. We clicked pretty instantly. To the point where after exactly 8 days of talking, we both decided that I should go visit him in Dallas 6 weeks from that point while he is there for a couple of months to train for a new job.

And despite the fact that I’d never met him (and had no feasible possibility of meeting him beforehand since he lives over 1,000 miles from me as it is), had only talked to him for a little over a week, and was taking a gamble on booking a trip 6 weeks in the future when who knows if we’d still be talking then or whether one or both would lose interest…I figured, Sure, why not? Well, you know, probably because JAPAN…that’s why not. But when have I ever let common sense stop me?

Besides, I had a work situation brewing that was stressing me out, and this gave me something to focus on and look forward to while I was navigating through that maelstrom. A thin-skinned, idiotic, incompetent bastard of a superior had taken it upon himself to try to make my work life a living hell because he’s a buffoon, and it was taking its toll on me. (Imagine my delight when he got fired. Karma really is a bitch.)

Anyway, at least this endeavor would be way less pricey and way less travel time. And I booked my own separate room this time. I did learn SOMETHING.

Our original weekend was supposed to be November 2 – 4. But that was before he had even started the training and figured he’d be off on weekends for the most part. It turns out that wasn’t the case and in early October I actually had to adjust the trip because he’d be working that weekend. So we ended up moving it up to October 29 – 31. It worked out better that way anyway because I had originally booked a random-ish hotel since he didn’t know where he would be staying. The second time around I was able to book the same hotel. He did offer at that point for me to stay in his room with him, but I told him maybe for the first time around, this might be better so I don’t feel like I’m invading his space. (In reality, I just wanted my own room to be able to retreat to in case anything went sideways.) He was cool with that but said that he just felt like he should offer. That was sweet of him.

On October 29th I adjusted my work schedule so I could make an early afternoon flight and landed in Dallas a little before 4:00 pm. He had work that day and wasn’t sure when he’d get out, but he told me to text him when I landed and he’d possibly be able to pick me up from the airport. It turns out he was able to and so I walked right outside of the door and into his arms after retrieving my bag.

So cute! He looks better in person. Not so much in that he looks that different, but in that way that pictures don’t really do him justice, I should say. In pictures he actually looks kind of like a teenage boy in a way (he’s 39), but in person his face is definitely much more mature looking, even if still boyish. 6’4″, blonde hair, blue eyes. Handsome guy.

When we got to the hotel I got a room on the same floor and it just so happened we were just down the hall from each other, which worked out well in the end. He had mentioned in the car that he was going to “see me to my room so I can get settled” but I could tell in his tone it was actually more of a “so he can bang my brains out” kind of thing, and that’s exactly what happened. We step in and I put my bags down and before you know it we’re naked in bed. And that was totally okay with me.

We got 2 rounds of sex in and then I started unpacking and asking what was up for the night. He made dinner plans for us at an Italian place, so after a little bit of canoodling he left for his room to get ready and I showered and readied in mine (definitely where separate rooms came in handy).

I met him in his room and we drove to the restaurant and had a fabulous dinner. He picked a good spot. We got back to the hotel and decided to hit the hot tub. But not before we banged once again in my room when he walked me there so I could change into my swimsuit. I washed up and changed and met him back in his room, from where we proceeded out to the hot tub together with fresh drinks from the stash in his room. We sat out for a little while but it was pretty warm temperature wise so not the most comfy of hot tub experiences (I prefer when it’s cooler outside for the contrast). We soon decided our time might best be spent in the room, so we called it quits after 45 minutes or so. I changed into some silky night clothes I bought in green in his honor (favorite color) and we drank some more in his room before sexing ourselves to sleep.

The next morning started with a round of sex and then breakfast in the lobby. Then we just chilled around in his room for most of the morning. He was kind of doing his own thing trying to make arrangements to get his car fixed (he had gotten into a minor accident the week before). I let him be and lounged on the couch watching horrific reality shows that he later playfully made fun of me watching – like Catfish and Airplane Repo. But there were only so many channels, what’s a girl to do? (He drew the line at Maury, though.)

Even though there were intermittent spans of time where we’d sit in silence, it felt comfortable and natural. Not awkward. If he was on the couch with me I’d drape my legs over him or try to at least maintain some physical contact but I didn’t feel the need to run my mouth every second although there were moments where I would wonder if the silences are “natural” or if we just don’t have anything to talk about. It seemed more like the former.

These extended first dates can get kind of tricky because most first dates are only several hours at the most. In a situation like this where you’re going to be spending 48 straight hours with someone, it has to be expected that every single moment can’t be filled with conversation and activity. Being “On” for 48 straight hours would be exhausting. And that’s perfectly okay.

Around noon we ventured out to a barbecue spot for lunch and then he stopped at a bank to get cash out to fix his car. That night he had made us reservations at a Five Sixty,  a spot at the top of Dallas’ Reunion Tower, but dinner wasn’t until 8:30 pm so we spent most of the afternoon after lunch once again just shooting the breeze in his room. By late afternoon I had started drinking, and he joined in. We got a couple of rounds in before going to get ready. 

I dolled myself up and met up with him and we took an Uber to dinner, which was fabulous. Our waiter was awesome, which prompted me to ask for his manager at the end of the meal to tell the manager how much I enjoyed the meal and the waiter. I figure people are always quick to comment with complaints and dislikes, but we should remember to give praise when it is due as well.

We weren’t quite ready to call it a night at the end of dinner, but we decided to utilize the hotel bar for drinks in lieu of venturing elsewhere in the city. So we Ubered back to the hotel and had a couple of drinks in the lobby bar before going back up to his room and having sex on the floor. And then to bed we went.

On the 31st I had to check out of my room, but my flight wasn’t until the early evening, so when I woke up I went to my room to pack my things and haul everything back to Boomer’s room. Then I checked out and thus his room was my domicile for the remainder. We ate breakfast in the lobby again and then he firmed up plans for getting his car fixed, which his brother-in-law (sister’s husband) was helping with. Luckily for him I was there because he ended up putting me to work. Close to lunch time we drove to Enterprise so he could pick up a rental. We left there for a brief lunch and then drove back to Enterprise so I could retrieve his car and drive it to the car repair shop (about 30 minutes away) with him in the rental.

I must admit, I was slightly nervous to drive his car because it’s bigger than my own, I’m on unfamiliar territory (a different state, no less), and it was raining cats and dogs and there were accidents and backups everywhere once we hit the highway. My GPS was a champ and eventually redirected me from the highway we were on due to an extreme backup. Boomer called and asked where I was going and I told him the highway looked totally blocked and that he should get off too. I actually ended up beating him to the place by 5 minutes or so, with car in tact. I had a minor occurrence of skidding at one point on the highway but it was easily brought back under control. It just shook me up a little bit because I figure it would not make so much of a good impression if I crashed his car. On the way for it to get fixed.

He met me at the place, made the arrangements for his car, and then we went back to the hotel and just chilled out watching TV for the 2 hours or so we had left. Around 3 pm we left for the airport so I could make my 5 pm flight. He thanked me for coming out and we kissed goodbye.

And there officially began the period of “Will I hear from him or won’t I?” “Did he like me or will I get the ‘Thanks but no thanks’?”

To date, it seems like all is normal. We’ve been talking pretty normally and we’ve tenuously alluded to me coming to visit him when he gets back home, but nothing is set in stone yet.

But we shall see.

The Lowdown on Ben

It just occurred to me that I never wrapped up the sordid Ben saga, that situation coming to a head and completely disintegrating around Thanksgiving.

Because it was a couple of days beforehand that I tried to make conversation and he responded with telling me that the girl he is seeing is in town. Ugh. Admittedly, I was the slightest bit jealous because I kind of liked him, but I couldn’t really be mad because I knew he was seeing someone and thought that he was trying to be the tiniest bit honest at least.

Or not really.

Because shit ended up hitting the fan the Sunday after Thanksgiving, when I hit him up again, thinking perhaps maybe the coast was clear after she came to spend Thanksgiving with him or whatever. All I did was send him a message saying his name: “Ben…”

He responded back abruptly and bizarrely saying that he thinks its best if we cut off contact because he wants to be respectful to her. And then he promptly blocked me. Yikes. I was a little bit blown but I figured he was right…maybe it’s all for the best…

But then an hour later, I’m getting FB messages from a random girl asking me about the nature of my relationship with Ben. This person turns out to be a good friend of Ben’s girlfriend and she informs me that Ben and his girlfriend are currently embroiled in a huge fight over me because she saw my message to him. Ben was trying to play me off as just a “friend” but I quickly inform Ms. BFF that that is not at all the case.

The gist of the situation was that Ben and his girlfriend had been dating for about a year and a half. They had broken up over the summer because of his habitual cheating, but then she took him back some time around late August. The BFF was trying to establish whether or not Ben and I had had sexual contact since then and I informed her that we definitely did, sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

Eventually the GF herself starts messaging me for more details about the exact timeline. Because not only had they gotten back together, but they had been discussing marriage and she noted that one of our hookups occurred within days of them ring shopping. Yikes.

Other notable facts I found out over the course of our conversation, which extended into the next day: Ben gave her chlamydia the first month they started dating. Ben has literally NEVER been faithful to her – the first time she caught him cheating was the previous October when they had only been together for several months. Ben might be a little bit of an alcoholic. Ben might be a little bit of a racist. Ben is broke. Sex with Ben is boring (I disagreed there – I thought it was great). Her family doesn’t like Ben. She was in the habit of combing through Ben’s apartment whenever she visited looking for traces of other women – how romantic!

I felt bad for her, really, and tried to be as helpful as I could with details and screenshots showing the depths of his depravity. I was definitely done with Ben at that point – I only sent a text the next day to tell him I felt bad for the way everything went down (which he did not answer) – but was just maybe sort of hoping she would wise up and get away from him because he really made a fool out of her.

I didn’t really care either way though – I had washed my hands of the situation and moved on with my life. Until a week and a half later when I woke up one morning to find a FB message from Ben. He had taken the time out to unblock me and send a message about how there are “no hard feelings” and how he realized how much pain he had caused to his “future wife”…and then reblocked me again.

WHAT? First off…no hard feelings? LOL. Why the fuck would there be any towards me when he’s the one who was the complete liar the whole time!? Yet he had the nerve to come at me as if he’s blessing me with the gift of forgiveness over a situation that he brought on himself. Wow. Okay, buddy. Then secondly, I was a little flabbergasted that his GF actually took him back after alllllll that trash she talked about him. I just found something really pathetic and corny about that. Then I guess ultimately it just rubbed me the wrong way because it felt like he was pretty much just trying to rub it in my face that he had salvaged his relationship when I would’ve been just as content never hearing from him again. I kind of took as a “Fuck you.” Alrighty then…

So, I decided to drive the point home about how much of a psychotic, cheating bastard Ben is and how pitiful the GF is by creating an Instagram account of nothing but screenshots of exchanges between Ben and I which pretty much drove the point home about how devious, dishonest, and how much of a complete hound he is.

I tagged her, the BFF, and as many friends of hers as I could muster up. She blocked me right away; it took the BFF a little more time. Everyone else I’m sure did as well but I stopped caring to log into the account after amusing myself with it for a few days.

So after I wore myself out with that, I left it alone and forgot about the situation. Until this past Saturday when I received not one, but 2 “Heys” from Ben via text. I figured out it was his number almost immediately, but he never responded. After a few hours I asked him wtf he was texting me for. He said he had noticed my number on his “blocked list” and wanted to know who it was before realizing it was me. Uh…what?!

Yeah, okay buddy. So you felt the need to text a number you allegedly blocked for what reason? That didn’t really make any sense and I told him so. He stopped answering after I pretty much called him on his nonsense. I think he knows it was me and was trying to put out a feeler of some sort. No thanks.

Bachelor #2 (Or maybe the ONLY at this point…)

Bachelor #2 is a a handsome airline pilot I matched with on Tinder a few days before Christmas. Let us call him Dale.

Dale had a blurb in his profile about possibly needing a date to a concert in late January, and I opened up conversation by declaring that I would in fact be his date. He affirmed and we both agreed we were glad that that was settled. All in facetiousness, of course.

And from there, we just haven’t stopped talking yet, although meeting in person is still a vague concept for the time being. It turns out he lives 850 miles away; we surmised that we must’ve matched when he was on an overnight trip nearby at some point. Drats.

Yet, I don’t know…it doesn’t seem to be a deal breaker for him. He’s not fond of the dating prospects in his area because under-educated working class single mothers are ubiquitous and he prefers more education in his women. And he doesn’t have a lot of time to waste with people between work and his 6-year-old son (he’s divorced). But he’s stuck there for the time being because of his son.

And it’s not so much a deal breaker for me either, honestly. It’s not ideal, of course, but he’s an airline pilot so even if we leaved near each other we would regularly be “long distance” due to the nature of his work.

And most importantly, we just seem to click. We have talked on a daily basis for the most part since December 22. And while we have maintained a mutual PG-ish flirtatiousness, he has not at any time been sleazy or crass or tried to solicit anything out of me of a sexual nature.

There was a time a couple of weeks ago when I thought it was probably done for, but that turned out to be a false alarm. Shortly after we first started talking, Dale explained that he liked his current airline, which he has been with since the summer (after retiring from the Marine Corps), but that he has to commute to the main hub several states away when his work periods start, and that can be physically taxing and also takes away from time with his son. Delta is his dream job, but it just happened to be that his current airline called him for an interview first so that’s where he ended up.

But it so happened a couple of weeks ago that Delta finally called him to schedule an interview and he is really excited about it. But it will take a lot of preparation and studying on his part because Delta is apparently known for having a very intense/difficult interview process. As he was telling me all this, I surmised that he was pretty much trying to say that between work, his kid, and now the upcoming interview, I probably would not hear from him as much, and so I just went ahead and threw that out there, and he concurred.

Bummer. Best case scenario: he was being genuine and would just have too much going on to give any attention to some girl he has never met. Worst case scenario: he was just trying to blow me off and this was a convenient excuse.

But that’s just how these things go sometimes so I couldn’t be mad, especially with him taking the time to warn me. I told him I understood and that I had enjoyed talking to him, and he agreed. He then advised that he didn’t plan to be totally off the radar, so that kind of made me feel better.

He seemed astonished at my understanding tone, because he asked “How are you so reasonable?” I replied that I can appreciate the fact that he has a lot going on right now, and that I am a proponent of the philosophy that if it is meant to be, then it will be in time.

He never responded that night (a Thursday), and then I didn’t hear from him at all on Friday. So I wasn’t sure if this was the beginning of the “prep period” limited contact phase or if maybe I had laid it on too thick with the “meant to be” stuff and he somehow was put off by that – like maybe I was thinking way too much into this or something.

But that Saturday morning he texted me again and our contact since really hasn’t seemed to dissipate much since, despite his warning. And the way he texts sometimes is almost along the lines of “checking in” – like, just to show me pictures of whatever he and his son are up to at the moment, or to regale me with tales of how he is at dinner with the rest of the flight crew, who are all elderly, and they are conversing about other people they know around their age that have died. Whatever the subject matter may be, it’s like sometimes he is just thinking of me and wanting to reach out – it’s cute.

But I’m like 0 and 22 with pilots though, so…