I Tried

Well apparently I jumped the gun on axing Ben. I just assumed, since he had clearly read my diatribes yesterday morning and hadn’t responded, that that would be all she wrote.  Because I certainly wasn’t going to say anything else and I figured that was his standpoint as well.

Yet in the late afternoon he finally replied: “Me too.” I prodded because I had no idea what that meant as a response to the thousands of things I said. He was referencing the statement I made about having been looking forward to our rendezvous. And added on that he had also been excited about seeing the new boobs as well.

I responded that maybe one day the timing will be right. He wrote “K” then proceeded to delve into conversation about how my healing is going. And from there we made friendly intermittent chit chat like normal. He even coaxed the conversation on at certain points, which he usually doesn’t do much of.

So, I don’t know. I get the feeling he wants to keep me around somehow.

Besides that, a few updates on some oldies, but goodies:

Blaze

I hadn’t spoken to him since the random text he had sent me last year, which I found strange given that he was engaged. But I actually ended up running into him at the beach back in August. I was at a bar alone fretting over another jackass, and I turn around and spy my good old friend, Blaze. We drank and talked and hung out together for a little while. No hard feelings; no love lost. We parted ways amicably and he got married last month and good luck to him.

Chester

We had been in contact pretty regularly over the past couple of months. I forget who initiated this round, but when we started talking again he was mourning the loss of a girl he really liked but screwed up with because apparently he had kind of overlapped her with a previous girl, and previous girl wasn’t having it. When she found out about the second chick, she got in contact with her somehow and blew his spot up. Second girl cut him off and didn’t look back and he was upset because he had been into her.

So we started off pretty wholesomely chatty at first yet at some point he started sending me selfies and various other pictures and the general tone turned more flirty. Then he eventually started his usual BS of hinting around hanging out, or wanting to hang out last minute. I just blew him off on those occasions.

But then the Saturday before last, he out right asked if I wanted to hang out with him at a town near me. He was going to meet up with a female friend and her boyfriend. I accepted and he came and got me. I can’t remember the last time I saw him…I feel like it’s not been since we originally talked. But he looked good. And he was the perfect gentleman in getting out of the car to open my door.

The friend wasn’t out yet so we stopped at one spot and had a meal and drinks on our own. Then his friend instructed him to go to another spot, so he paid and I said I’d get our drinks at the next place. The friend and her boyfriend joined us maybe 30 minutes later. She was nice and so was the boyfriend – nice to the point where, when we decided to hit another spot, the boyfriend paid the whole tab…meaning he paid for the drinks Chester and I had even when they weren’t even there yet. We implored him not to, but he insisted. And then when we were done at the next place, he claimed that they “know him” and had comped him and so we didn’t pay a cent yet again. I’ll allow it.

I had told Chester earlier in the evening that he could crash at my place if he needed to, and that’s what ended up happening. But sleeping is not all we did, of course. The next morning we got a second round in and then he drove me to McDonald’s for greasy hangover food and left.

The night before he had told me he would be back in that same town the next weekend for a wedding. I had plans for dinner with Hannah as a preliminary birthday celebration in said town as well. He said “maybe” (as in, he wanted us to) we would cross paths. But apparently he was going as a female friend’s plus 1, and I checked to make sure I wouldn’t be interrupting a date. He assured me that said female is a friend from college who lives out of state now but comes back to attend a wedding every once in a while, and he just kind of her standing wedding date on those occasions.

So we ended up meeting up out on the town last weekend. Not until about midnight, though. Hannah and I met him at the bar they were all at. I was pretty tipsy by then. I met his female friend; she was nice. Hannah’s husband came to pick her up not too long into it, so I figured I’d either just Uber back home or possibly crash with Chester. Unfortunately he was sharing a room with his friend, so that was a no-go. And I feel like we might’ve not gotten along so well somehow – I think maybe I said something drunkenly stupid about us dating or something. I can’t remember.

I eventually Ubered back home safely and woke up to a text that he sent me at 4:25 am asking if I made it home okay. He texted me a little bit later when he got home and I asked why he had been up that late/early…he didn’t seem to remember it being that early.  But that was really the extent of the conversation and I haven’t heard from him since. So I can’t decide if we got into it or not because I figured he wouldn’t have texted me. But then again I haven’t heard from him like I normally have been. I don’t care either way.

Adam

So when it came down to it and we finally got around to talking about expectations, it turned out that Adam still didn’t see us as a dating thing, but was interested in exploring other options, such as a FWB situation. I tried it; he came over a couple of times, just for kicks. But just like he told me that time that he doesn’t think about me when he gets a spare moment…I don’t fantasize about him when I get a spare moment. And thus it doesn’t interest me to maintain any sexual relationship with him at all. He DID look pretty good when I saw him for the first time after a year, though. I’m not usually a facial hair fan, but a beard on him makes him a little hotter. But still…eh.

And The Others…

Well there’s Scout, and then there are all the rest of them…

The Wiley situation isn’t quite deceased yet, but it is on life support. His birthday was actually that same week after we had our minor tiff. I oscillated mentally between whether I wanted to wish him a happy birthday or not but in the end I decided it’d be rude of me not to, so I did. He thanked me and that was the extent of that conversation.

A few days after that, after I’d gotten his birthday gift prettily boxed, I took a picture of it and texted it to him, to which he did not respond. That was discouraging, but no worries, because the things I got are not so much for him as they are for “us”…I figured it was way too early and we were way too much of a malleable thing for me to get him something personal, but I did want to acknowledge his birthday with something tangible being as at least at the time, the situation seemed semi-promising. But in the event that it suddenly did go south I didn’t want to be stuck with an abandoned gift that was too personalized to give to anyone else, so this is naughty stuff I can use with anyone. And when he didn’t answer I figured that’d probably end up being the case.

I gave it another whirl the Sunday before last. I realized that that past weekend he would’ve been busy with the then-upcoming Republican National Convention, and that that Monday started the Democratic National Convention, so I’m sure he was still embroiled in a whirlwind of political mayhem, but I wanted to at least maintain the lines of communication…to at least make an effort on my end not to let it “die by neglect,” as he had remarked once. So I simply texted him saying I hope all is well. Nothing again.

Blah. At that point, with 2 non-responses in the bucket over the course of a week I figured the writing was on the wall – we’re done. And I wasn’t really that sad about it. It is what it is…I liked him, but we hadn’t had the chance to really heat up to the point where his exit would cause me any significant distress. It was more of in the sense that I really don’t like to lose at anything.

Yet Wiley once again randomly quelled all suspicions and fears when he texted me out of the blue that Monday night with a picture of what I assume was his view of Michelle Obama at the Democratic National Convention. I sent a smiley back, figuring he probably wouldn’t respond that night given his obvious location. I was hoping maybe he would on Tuesday, but nope. Later in the week with nothing better to do, I took a quick selfie of me lying in bed (PG-13ish) and sent it to him. Nothing as of yet. The conventions are long over, so at this point I have no idea.

Making the effort to reach out with the picture demonstrated that he was making an valiant effort to stay on the radar – or so I thought. As we haven’t talked in a couple of weeks I’m not exactly sure what his schedule was supposed to be post-conventions. He’d mentioned vacations and family activities up until the second week of August, so I guess we’ll see when the time comes if I hear from him or not.

In other news, I seemed to have caught a coworker’s interest as a result of some drunken antics some weeks back when I made some alcohol-induced romantic overtures and thus opened a door I’m not sure I really wanted to open. I’ve known Manny for a while as a colleague. He’s nice and I guess I’d say attractive though not exactly swoon-worthy, but I don’t really feel a strong romantic interest. He’s trying though. He invited me to go to a wine festival with him 3 Sundays ago, and when we talked about it the day before I said I was in, but I didn’t really want him monopolizing my whole Sunday so I feigned illness early the next morning. Mean – I know. Since then he has offered to cook me dinner via text and I’ve seen him out and he’s mentioned going out to dinner and all that. This past Saturday he texted asking if I wanted to plan something for Sunday, but I blew him off and said maybe next week. He didn’t answer. Eh.

Let’s see…Elliot and I have been moderately communicative lately. I hadn’t talked to him for a while when several weeks ago he texted me about something work-related and from there somehow over the course of some days we delved into sexual territory. And I’d say over the course of the weeks since then we’ve spoken about a litany of subjects – a lot of work and politics – and that he seems generally like he’s making a moderate effort to not be so wishy-washy with his responses. He still sometimes drops off the face of the earth during a conversation, but there were a couple of times he actually seemed apologetic about not answering due to work and what not. So it’s a mix, but I do generally think we’ve reached a happy medium where it’s clear we are attracted to each other but I guess with his girlfriend or whatever is going on there, nothing’s going to happen on that front at this time. But I really like talking to him and we mesh very well in our political and general philosophies so I’m satisfied with having him as a sounding board of sorts when I want to talk about certain things.

I actually happened to see him in passing at work last week (Monday), which was the first time we’d crossed paths since the Memorial Day 5K we ran. I had to retrieve something from my car in the garage, but ran into someone else I know right outside the door of the building and was making idle chit chat when Elliot comes out with some other coworkers. He saw me and greeted me and then went on his way. But then it turned out that the area where my car was actually an area he was venturing to as well; when I saw him down that way again with his crew I made sure to play it smooth and not even acknowledge him again or look in his direction. When I got what I needed and was walking off, he made a point of saying something to me and sucking me into conversation with he and the other coworkers for a couple of minutes. And hence I was glad I wore a cute dress to work that day and generally looked pretty hot – for exactly potential moments like those.

What’s interesting is that there is a work conference coming up in two weeks that he and I will both be in attendance at, among other colleagues and other general industry professionals. It involves several nights of a hotel stay, so we shall see if any new developments arise from that.

There had been little-to-no activity on the Tinder front lately on my part, but I’ve done some swiping recently. I had turned off all notifications from pushing through to my phone because they were annoying me, so I had no idea when people were writing to me back or when I was getting matches or what have you until I took the time to open the app. I lost a few people from the neglect, but whatevs. I turned notifications for messages back on at least for now, until it starts irritating me again. Taking it with a grain of salt, as usual.

There was one recent blast from the past that popped up out of the blue. He was a Navy sailor I matched with around the middle of last summer when I went to Virginia Beach the first time, but we didn’t start talking until after I had left already. But we seemed to connect and he was the front-runner there for a little bit, to the point where when he deployed he gave me his ship email address and we exchanged emails for a little while until his contact started getting more and more sporadic. I called him on it and he seemed to give some BS excuse so I wrote him off. He reestablished contact at some point while I was already Reed-crazy, but when I told him the deal he shoved off again. I hit him up after the disaster that was Japan to kind of test the waters but he didn’t seem very interested. Oh well.

Last week I got a text from a random number and it was him. He was disappointed  when he found that I didn’t have his number in my phone any longer. Why would I? I’m not in the habit of keeping phone numbers in my phone for the sake of having them if I don’t expect to talk to someone again – double that for someone I’ve never even met. He said he had just been going through his contacts when my name popped up and he wanted to say hi. His real intention seemed to be letting me know that he’d be in my neck of the woods later this year. Cordial conversation, but I wasn’t really that eager. I wasn’t rude or terse, but I didn’t go out of my way to be particularly flirtatious and perhaps he picked up on that because I haven’t heard from him since even though the conversation was left pretty open-ended. I did add him back to my contacts though.

This guy Chester and I still talk sporadically. Despite our humble Tinder beginnings never translating into nothing much beyond a few hookups, we’ve remained in contact and are maybe even sort of friends. He mostly only texts me when he seems to be in a randy sort of mood, but here and there he will make normal innocuous contact to check up on me. I actually would hook up with him again if he wanted to make the effort to plan a night instead of his pattern of impromptu hinting or overt requests for me to come over. He lives 40 minutes from me, so I’m never really keen on putting in that much effort for just an old-news hookup.

Then there’s a guy from work who has come sniffing around out of the blue just yesterday. I met him last week at an evening work event – don’t recall ever seeing him before prior to that. I was sitting at a table talking to an acquaintance and he sat down to converse with said acquaintance as well. But when he first sat down I picked up on the several glances he shot my way in that whole looking-but-trying-not-to-be-obvious sort of way. We made idle chit chat as a trio and then as more people sat and joined off an on; I thought he was pretty cute and interesting but he mentioned a girlfriend so I didn’t think much of it.

Well he emailed me out of the blue at work yesterday, ostensibly about a work matter but it was an obviously thinly-veiled attempt to speak to me as there was really no point to his email. I thought it was cute though. Even more so when after a few exchanges of pleasantries he found a reason to slip his phone number in under the guise of being able to get me on the field for an NFL practice. I texted him to tell him I appreciate it but I wouldn’t be able to make it that night.

His response was that he would have to find out another way for us to run into each other. He proceeded to ask what my schedule was and where exactly my office is; he was working in the evening but wanted to stop by beforehand. He did text me later to do so but by the time I answered 5 minutes later he was already occupied. But he continued texting me throughout the evening  and even surprised me with a phone call which resulted in a 35-minute conversation. He said he’d swing by today in the afternoon. We shall see. He’s obviously interested…but in what is a mystery because he definitely said he had a girlfriend last week. So…

Then there’s yet ANOTHER guy who I’ve been Facebook friends with for a while due to being in the same profession and having mutual friends, but had actually never met until several weeks ago. He has been displaying a lot of interest in recent weeks with messages and conversations. He lives not far from me and was supposed to cook me dinner one night and I was all for it until a genuine last-minute schedule change caused me to have to reschedule. We’ve so far not been able to align our schedules up for another try, but he gets points for bringing me McDonald’s hangover food one Sunday several weeks ago when Carly and I crashed in my living room from the night before. Seems attractive, I guess. Maybe worth exploring.

Who knows…

Boys…

First things first: HAPPY VETERAN’S DAY! I do greatly appreciate everyone who has served to defend and protect our great nation.

Back to our regularly scheduled program…

There was yet another guy from Tinder a couple of weeks back that I was starting to get really into, but as usual, nothing of substance ever materialized from it.

Chester and I first matched in early October and messaged extensively through Tinder for several days before moving on to texting, which is the natural course of these things. I thought he was really cute and I liked his conversation so I decided to give it a go. We met up for drinks one night and clicked and spent the night together. He left my house the next morning and I knew it was a crapshoot as to whether I’d hear from him again, but he maintained contact and seemed to like me. We spent a couple more nights together over the next week. But after the third time I could sense the change. He wasn’t as communicative. I knew his interest was waning for whatever reason. But then when I asked if he wanted to hang out at some point in the upcoming week, he said he did. But then days later he told me he would be too busy that week and it’d have to wait until the next week. Right. I knew what that meant: he’s seeking greener pastures.

But the funny thing about it was, even though he was clearly blowing me off, he would still initiate contact just to shoot the breeze some mornings. It was kind of weird. Just for kicks, nearer the end of his alleged “too busy to hang out” week, I asked about the NEXT week. He said it’d depend on how late he had to work that Monday. Er…okay…whatever that means. Never heard from him that week. I had major stuff going on at work so I wasn’t really focused on him or anyone else anyway. I did send him a text I think that Wednesday night (the one before last) telling him he wasn’t very nice. He answered the next day and said that he’s been really busy, and as I had probably guessed, talking to somebody. I told him that’s fine because I have as well…on both counts.

And that was that. Haven’t spoken to him since and don’t intend to. He was really good looking and we had a good time, and I was starting to really like him, but I’m over it. It is what it is. I don’t even care enough at this point to try to even contemplate what went wrong. Whatever.

And I have been talking to someone else. This guy, Robbie, I met also through none other than Tinder. We matched a while back though. I wanna say like maybe mid-September. We progressed to texting as well but I was never really sure about him because he had a bit of a sleazy, sex-hound vibe about him but then it seemed like he was actually interested in really dating as well at the same time. We texted for a week or so then it fell off around the time I started talking to Chester. We were supposed to meet for lunch or dinner one Friday but he didn’t reach out to me and I didn’t reach out to him since I was more focused on Chester, so it didn’t happen. Naturally, once Chester and I seemed to be on the outs I started paying more attention to Robbie again. And then I started realizing that I actually like Robbie. He is a bit of a pervert but at the same time our conversations aren’t always sexually focused. We’re in the same profession, which I always like, he seems decently intelligent, he’s good looking, and I like talking to him.

BUT…I haven’t met him. We had tentative plans to hang out on Halloween but when I asked him that day he said he’d be too busy and canceled. In his defense, he did have a lot going on at work and he has a significant hockey tryout coming up that he’s really excited about so I know he’s been focused on that. And our work schedules have been conflicting somewhat. But still, it kind of unnerves me that he hasn’t made more of an effort to try and meet me.

Even still, we seem to click really well. We text throughout the day every day and it kind of “feels” like we’re dating, but clearly nothing can be real until we meet. I do kind of like this kid though. I’m no fool and am still entertaining Tinder guys somewhat and talking to other people here and there…but Robbie is my front runner. We just need to meet in person and see if we click there as well. In person is what counts.

And finally…the JP saga continues. So, he texted me that one time in the middle of the night and then seemed to be ignoring my texts and calls after that. I finally got a reply back from him about a week and a half later…he said he’d been flying a lot and on vacation. With LMDP of course. I bit the bullet and asked him why he really hit me up but in lieu of answering the question he deflected by remarking on his “loving relationship” and the loyalty he has to his girlfriend, which had nothing to do with what I had asked.

I got annoyed with that whole devoted boyfriend act and basically just told him everything I think: He might be content, but he’s not happy. If he were happy, he wouldn’t feel the need to reach out to a girl he’s never met in the middle of the night. He’s too nice of a guy to ever break up with LMDP for no real cause but it’s clear that he knows he bet on the wrong pony. I continued on a course of conversation along those lines, being completely honest with my assessment of this situation, and of his retarded girlfriend (for instance, how every activity of theirs must apparently be documented with dozens of pictures for Facebook purposes) but he clammed up and would only respond with terse acknowledgements (“Ok“) and/or stupid emoticons. I told him she may be good looking and maybe even fun, but it’s obvious that something is missing and it’s ultimately unsatisfying. I had a lot to say. But it all seemed to be falling on deaf ears so I finally just wished him well.

I didn’t break contact with him for good though, admittedly. I continued to send him random texts here and there over the ensuing weeks. Just to say I was thinking about him and hoped he was being safe in the sky. I sent him some pictures from a photo shoot I did, which he acknowledged positively. But that’s really the only time he responded to me. Otherwise he ignored me.

So imagine my surprise when I wake up Halloween morning to a Facebook message from him. I’m going away to Jamaica this weekend and I had told him about it previously. He was asking me how the trip is but he was clearly confused because I hadn’t gone yet. I told him so, but mentioned that it was funny he asked because I dreamed about it the night before. “It” meaning the trip. He thought I meant I dreamed about him because he asked what he was doing in the dream, and if he was “being manly” and protecting me somehow. He said he had a layover at an airport not too far from me two nights before and should’ve texted me. (Interesting, being as during our last conversation when I was telling him how ridiculous I think his relationship is and once again proposed that we meet, he declined due to his spectacular relationship. Hmm…) His birthday is 4 days before mine (which is coming up) so I asked what he was doing and he said going to Ireland. And then he told me to send him some bikini pics from my trip. Really?

I was undecided about whether or not I was going to wish him a happy birthday, but I relented and did. He didn’t answer. Jackass.