Bumble Adventures

I’m not really sure how to feel about Bumble, but I’m leaning towards being pretty disenchanted with it overall. As my expectations of dating apps are definitely not high to begin with, that’s saying something.

I don’t know, I just feel like perhaps because it’s incumbent upon the female to initiate contact, the men on there are kind of entitled and lazy…that they somehow take that as meaning that the burden is on the woman to carry the conversation or something. It’s weird. Or maybe the fact that I don’t really care about putting meaningful effort into it is reflecting in my disposition somehow and I’m getting it thrown back at me. Whatevs. In any case, some of my most notable experiences so far…

Bachelor #1

I matched with this guy the Friday before last and it seemed very promising at first. He was cute and communicative and we spent a good portion of that evening talking. We even had a bit of a  “bonding” moment when he inadvertently made an awkward auto correct faux pas:

bumbling
#autocorrectprobs

Poor thing. But it ended up being a good ice breaker and laugh for the both of us.

I ended up crashing hard after an electrifying evening of browsing Bumble, surfing the internet, and watching TV (I know – try and keep up!). The next morning I saw that he had written a message about how good it was to talk to me and that he’s hoping that we can do it again soon, complete with a totally unsolicited, but appreciated, phone number.

I texted him that afternoon while I was getting my toes done to say hi and open up the lines of communication, letting him know who it is, of course. Hours later…nothing. Hmm…maybe I typed the wrong number in? Nope, that  wasn’t it. Alrighty…umm…maybe he’s had a particularly busy day?

Well I wouldn’t know, since he never responded. A bit irritated, I followed up with a snarky remark – “Or not?” – through Bumble which he also neglected to respond to. As of yet he still hasn’t unmatched with me or anything, but he obviously has made no move to respond, so I have no idea what that was about.

Bachelor #2

This is not a newbie, but a guy I used to have a borderline obsession with crush on for the majority of my sophomore and junior years of college. He was a basketball player at my school who I pretty much thought could walk on water and would swoon over like a lovesick puppy, but he never seriously gave me the time of day. We had sex twice or maybe thrice over the time period spanning the tail end of my junior year and the summer leading up to my senior year, but it never turned into anything more than that. I got over him eventually and moved on with my life and hadn’t seen or spoken to him since my senior year of college.

He was there for 2 more years after me, but his promising basketball career never lived up to expectations and he pretty much faded into obscurity once he graduated. Over the years, when I was especially bored or just barreling down a general internet rabbit hole, I’ve stalked his Twitter account or Instagram and found him to appear happily married with children and playing overseas basketball at some points.

Good for him…no hard feelings. Though he treated me like crap in college and caused me quite a bit of emotional turmoil leading to many a cringe-worthy journal entry, I’ve never really been mad or bitter towards him or wished him any ill will. And as the years have passed and I have grown, my “type” has changed quite drastically, so it’s been a long while since he did it for me in that regard. So suffice it to say that my only interest in orbiting his social media universe was out of genuine curiosity and nostalgia, not out of any kind of romantic longing.

Unfortunately, in more recent years he has ended up in some very hot water of the criminal justice variety. I know that only because he’s still somewhat of a person “of note” in the vicinity due to his illustrious college basketball career and local roots, and so I caught a brief snippet about his exploits in the news a while back. And then it appears that he is no longer married, which I figured out from stumbling across him on Tinder way back and stalking him once again on social media to try and get the scoop. I think his criminal justice issues might’ve had something to do with that.

The first time I came across him on Tinder way back, I swiped left before I completely realized who it was. It suddenly occurred to me after the fact. Again, earlier this year when I reset my account, he came up once again, but then the app suddenly took that opportunity to freeze (go figure) and I had to force close it and reopen it. I thought his profile would pop right back up because, at least on my end, I had swiped neither left or right, but when I reopened it a different profile popped up and I never saw him again. Oh well.

But within days of my Bumble adventures commencing a couple of weeks ago, his profile came up and even though he’s no longer even remotely my type, I swiped right to see what he would do. To be honest, I didn’t think he would remember who I was. I look quite a bit different (for the better) than I did in college, and given that I never played that important of a role in his life and it’s now been over 12 years since he has seen me, I didn’t think he would recognize me. When I saw that we had matched, I honestly had initial intentions to kind of screw with him a bit. In more of a fun way, not necessarily on a mean tip…maybe just to carry on a conversation  as if we were strangers and then to let him in on my identity after a little bit.

But imagine my astonishment when I said hi and his response was “Lol look at you. How you been?” Wow…seriously?! When I expressed my surprise that he would even remember me, he replied, “Lol how could I forget?” Then I kind of felt bad because I assumed the worst and it turned out he remembered me after all.

We’ve made small talk since then and he’s expressed an interest in getting together to “catch up.” Funny how the tables turn. Now it’s him seeking my attention and me who is the reluctant one. Not really sure if I want to go there. While I think it might be neat to get together and chat, I don’t want him thinking I’m interested in rekindling anything with him because I’m definitely not.

Bachelor #3

I matched with Mr. Marine with some time around November 1. I thought he was cuter than most so I decided to put a little more effort into my opener, which is nothing groundbreaking, but seemed to play very well on Tinder in the event that I found a guy especially attractive enough to initiate contact: “Well aren’t you cute.” He reciprocated with a compliment and we enjoyed some generally productive conversation over ensuing days, even if it felt a bit stilted on his part. Like, sometimes, I just felt like there were breaks in the conversation where he should’ve made the effort to fill in, or to open up another line of discussion if he wanted it to continue, and he wouldn’t and so I’d have to make the effort to fill in the gaps. Even still, he generally remained responsive and seemed interested, so I stuck it out.

Yet I was annoyed when, alluding to the hint of my legs in one picture, he said he hoped they were “better in person” and then went on to, in so many words, ask for better pictures of them. I shot that down immediately, but I did offer up a picture of me from that weekend in Halloween costume (I made a very splendid Daenerys Targaryen, thankyouverymuch), which seemed to alleviate his need for more besides the 6 he can already clearly reference any time.

From there, conversation remained decent, if not exactly stellar. He looks like he’s attractive, he’s 6’2″ (yum!), and a career Marine, which all earned him points. The only downside is that he’s divorced with 2 children. Not really optimal for me, but not a deal breaker.

Yet I was further put off when I asked to see a picture of his children (since he brought them up several times, I was trying to act interested), I think Thursday night, and he replied “Maybe one day” because he “doesn’t just dole those out.” Um…okay. Not that serious, dude. While I do generally think that people shouldn’t advertise pictures of their children across dating profiles for anyone to see, I wasn’t sure what the big deal was about sending one to someone in particular. What the hell am I going to do with a picture of your kids?!

But I mean, I guess that’s his prerogative. It wasn’t really his refusal in itself that annoyed me, it was that he cajoled me into sending him a picture yet didn’t reciprocate when I asked. Just kind of further evidence of an already perceivable imbalance of effort that eroded a little more of my interest. And this is after he made remarks earlier in the day about wanting me to come join him at the beach and suggesting maybe a drink this week when he was back. I’m sure he could sense my displeasure in the simple “Ok” I responded with after that whole debacle because he never said anything else that night.

I gave it one last try Friday evening by initiating conversation. He asked what I up to and I told him I had just gotten my hair done. His immediate response: “Pics?” Mine: “One day.” His: “Touche.”

And that’s been that thus far. Guess we’re not getting that drink this week.

Bachelor #4…May be the Charm?

This past Sunday morning I woke up to find a “New Bee in my Hive” whom I was particularly excited about based firstly on looks and then on our shared profession. (I tend to be privy toward men that share the same profession as me, as that alone is strongly indicative of similar lifestyles, political philosophies, and general worldviews that bolster connection). But of course, a match means nothing in itself as there’s always the question of whether he will even respond and then be open to conversation from there and actually seem like a decent human being and all those nail-biter unknowns. But what do ya know? Success on all counts!

I reveled in a low-key Sunday of grocery shopping, cleaning, and general household chores in the morning followed by an afternoon of relaxation/laziness with beer, video games, and cheesy Amazon Prime movies during which we talked continuously throughout. By the early afternoon we had ascertained the several mutual friends/colleagues we have in common, he had freely revealed his last name so I could Facebook stalk him at my leisure, and he eventually offered up his phone number (unsolicited) so we could text. Which we did throughout the rest of the day and night until I fell asleep.

I woke up yesterday morning to messages regarding his own Facebook stalking of me (I had reciprocated with my identity as well) which culminated with an “…um…yeah…wow.” I asked for clarification on whether that was a good wow or a bad wow; he said that that it was a good wow and that I’m very photogenic (I’m not, I just curate my social media photos well).

As far as his page goes, his security was pretty tight so I could only see a handful of pictures and none of those were terribly recent or really reinforced whether or not he looked like those on his Bumble profile. He had remarked the day before, pursuant to his invitation for me to Facebook stalk him, that I could add him if I wanted, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to go there just yet. It’s kind of counter-intuitive, but I was already starting to like him and wasn’t ready for what I was sure would be the inevitable let down…like finding out he’s actually missing 3 teeth (there was no smile on any of his Bumble photos or any of his public Facebook photos so that had me a little worried), or seeing pictures with or interactions between he and a girl or two that seemed questionable.

Anyway…we continued texting throughout the day yesterday, with him generally keeping me abreast of his activities and laying on all the more charm. He writes well and communicates with effort-full thoughts and sentences; he is flirty, but maintained a gentlemanly demeanor and said nothing even remotely sleazy or sexual.

He made the suggestion that we meet up on Friday evening since that will be his only opportunity this week. I’m headed to the Dominican Republic early Saturday morning, and he knows that, so it’s clear that he feels, like I do, that it would be essential for us to meet in person before I leave. Otherwise, the promise that this is showing might fade away over next week when we will have limited contact.

Last night he announced that he was going to add me on Facebook, and he did, so I accepted. I got to browse through more of his photos, and crisis averted! He’s still cute. Not missing any teeth. No evidence of any girlfriends or any other current romantic interests. Feeling emboldened by that, I suggested he call me if he wasn’t busy. He did, and a 90-minute phone conversation ensued during which he talked of leaving the career he had before his current one because it wasn’t “intellectually stimulating” enough and correctly used words like “quintessential.” *Swoon* I bashfully admitted how I was particularly hoping to match with him and he in turn revealed that he was stoked when I messaged him.

After we hung up, he sent several texts about how he had completed his more in-depth Facebook analysis of my photos and I looked good in every single one. And he said he was looking forward to getting to know me.

He seems into it, so, we’ll see. Obviously, stay tuned for the inevitable train wreck.

 

Mean Girl

I ended up sending Chad a couple more texts that fateful Wednesday night. Topped off with a phone call – none of which he bothered responding to.

Well, okay then, asshole.

I was pretty bummed out over it at work the next day, envisioning how super awkward it’d be to run into him and what would even go down if that happened. But as fate would have it, I ended up getting some pivotal intel that evening.

Chad and I have a mutual friend that we both used to work with in different capacities. I happened to ask this friend about Chad that preceding week – about whether he was a good guy or a bad guy and offering scant details about our activities. Friend said he was a good guy.

That Thursday after work, I happened to text said friend to joke about how he vouched for Chad , who is now acting like a tool as he stood me up Tuesday night. Friend mentioned running into Chad late that very night and a pursuant conversation during which Chad remarked that his girlfriend was moving in next month. And apparently she was at his house that night.

Yikes.

I immediately texted Chad to express my dismay. He wasn’t interested in answering until I mentioned his girlfriend by name and stated I might be in the mood to have a conversation with her over Facebook about her boyfriend’s recent antics. Then, lo and behold, suddenly he was picking up right away when I called. Imagine that!

Several issues were coalescing at this point: A) Why had I not heard from you since Tuesday evening when we were supposed to hang out? B) What is this about you and your girlfriend about to move in together? That sounds a lot more serious than you made it appear, buddy.

Many excuses abounded regarding Tuesday about how he ended up working later than expected and blah, blah, blah. Right. It was never established why a text or phone call to advise of this remained nonexistent. We didn’t have time to delve into the relationship issue as he said he had to go and would call me back later.

I stopped at happy hour and was shortly thereafter joined unexpectedly by Manny. He ended up being so kind as to give me a ride home and changing the flat tire I had discovered that morning, resulting in an impromptu Uber to work as I didn’t have time to deal with it right then. Chad called me while I was on the way home but I rejected the call and said I’d call him back in about an hour. As promised, I did, but nothing productive really resulted from the conversation as I was a little tipsy and irritated. He said he would be out of town over the next few days for work but said he wanted to meet up on Sunday when he was back so we could talk in person.

Sunday arrives. I wasn’t really sure what time I was supposed to hear from him and I wasn’t confident that he would stick to his word anyway. He called  mid-morning to say that he was  90 minutes or so from being back in town and would call me back when he was about 30 minutes out. He suggested meeting at our building at first but I didn’t really want to intermix what would amount to a personal romantic discussion/altercation with the office – didn’t think that too appropriate. I suggested an entertainment locale around the corner instead.

Our conversation took all of 10 minutes because it was essentially just a plethora of BS apologies on his part, him begging me not to tell his girlfriend, and me looking and feeling quite apathetic toward his entreaties. It wasn’t sincere. He wasn’t sorry, he was just scared that I’d screw his relationship up. His eyes, that used to be warm and kind toward me, were now cold and distant and that said it all.

Even still, I could’ve walked away without ever having caused that man trouble and moved on with my life quite easily. He was starting to make me smile a bit with the extreme amount of charm he laid on, but I didn’t necessarily like him to any significant extent just yet. And I almost did walk away and leave well enough alone.

But the nail in his coffin was when he admitted that his radio silence was his way of trying to “dissipate” our thing. That pissed me off. Like, seriously? So after being Prince Charming for 2 weeks, you were just going to do a total 180 and kick me to the curb just like that? That’s not very nice. That sealed the deal for me in that I decided that since he felt I was deserving of so little respect and consideration, then I will treat him the same way in the only way that will matter to him. Only, I’m not him. I’m not particularly a coward or a liar and I told him right to his face that I was still leaning toward pulling the trigger.

It equally annoyed me when he tried to use my own logic against me. I had brought up over the course of Wednesday, that, being as we are colleagues and will probably run into each other from time to time, it’d be nice if he could actually respond so we could just sort things out and not make it a “thing” where it’d have to be all awkward and tense should we have to cross paths. He tried to turn that around on me in person as to why I shouldn’t say anything to his girlfriend…because he didn’t want a bad personal or working relationship with me. LOL. Oh, so now suddenly he cares about that. Nice try. We’re past that point. That just irritated me even further.

To emphasize: I wasn’t TOO angry about the girlfriend. I knew about her; the only minor bother I had was that obviously they were quite a bit more serious than he let on, or that he acted like they were. That out-of-state wedding he had just gone to, he claimed when I asked that his girlfriend wasn’t going, but I have reason to believe she did. Why lie about that? I’m still not sure if he lied about the amount of time they were together, because while it’s not unheard of, moving in together after a mere 6 months is pretty quick. Our mutual friend couldn’t confirm how long they had been together, and Chad wouldn’t, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they had been together for longer and he was fibbing to once again downplay the seriousness. But in any case, it wasn’t the girlfriend part that bothered me extremely.

It was his admittance that he was in fact purposely giving me the cold shoulder and obviously thought that that is what I was worthy of. Blowing off our scheduled hang-out and then not even bothering to explain or face up to anything. By his own admittance, what he SHOULD’VE done was just explained that he’d had second thoughts about all of this. I already knew that was probably the deal and so although it would’ve come completely out of left field, I would’ve been good with that. No harm, no foul. We’re cool.

Scout and I have waaaaaaay more time in and way more emotions involved and even if HE suddenly started having doubts or second thoughts and wanted to end things, I’d be pretty devastated for a little while I’m sure, but I’d never feel the need to go snitch on him to his wife. I’m just really not like that.

But, Chad? Eh. I guess I just didn’t really care. We weren’t a “thing” long or intense enough for me to care about him. Or really, at the risk of me sounding demented, for me to care about hurting him. Upon us walking back to the building for our cars together, I tried to give him some encouragement by remarking that maybe his girlfriend wouldn’t even break up with him once she knew. There’s always a bright side to anything. I was being facetious, of course. I’m not sure he appreciated it.

It has been few times in life that a guy has pissed me off enough for me to contact a significant other. I’m not saying one reason is any better than the other, but it’s never out of a sense of wanting to sabotage other romances so that he will get kicked to the curb and want to be with me or something. Some of it is spite/revenge, of course, and some is genuinely wanting to warn another woman. She can do what she will from there, I consider it a burned bridge at that point and have no further interest. It certainly didn’t deter the girlfriend of one such jackass, Robbie. Funnily enough, Robbie and I actually keep in contact on occasion. After my conversation with his until-then secret girlfriend, though she vehemently declared that she was done with him for good since she’s had issues like that with him before, they were back together within, at the most, 6 months. And they got married in May of this year. Way to take a stand, girl!

Anyway, once Chad and I parted ways I went immediately home and composed a Facebook message to his girlfriend giving an overview of the experience I’d had with her boyfriend over the past couple of weeks. From our first meeting to his obvious ulterior-motive emails the next week to his myriad of texts and phone calls and breakfast and drinks and making out. The only problem with Facebook is its random message filters that send your attempted communications to No Man’s Land if you’re not friends with a person. And I’ve never been sure if there’s a way to tell if it’s been seen or not if that should happen. She and I actually have a friend in common (the wife of aforementioned mutual friend), but it’s always been a mystery to me as to what actually gets to your main inbox and what doesn’t. I’m not sure if the one common friend is enough to “legitimize” me to the Facebook algorithm.

Not satisfied with that, because it just doesn’t sit well with me, the idea of my message languishing in some filtered inbox for days, weeks, months, or even years, the next day I decided to up the ante and email her. I’m not sure what’s considered stalker-ish or creepy nowadays, given that the internet makes it pretty easy to find any type of information on a person if you’re looking for it, but it’s possible I’m somewhat in either or both categories. So be it. But let’s just say that she’s a pretty accomplished individual with a distinctive name so a simple Google search proved to be very fruitful.

I composed a follow-up email referencing my original Facebook message and kept this one really short and sweet, sending her a screen shot of texts Chad and I exchanged in the first hours of us texting (all my incoming and outgoing texts are automatically saved through an app), and told her if she wants to see more or has any questions or needs clarification, she can feel free to contact me.

I never heard from her. Not really concerned with whether I do or not. Ditto for Chad, who I haven’t heard from or seen since our Sunday rendezvous. I did what I wanted to do and am done with it. I’ve barely thought about it since, to be honest. In a fucked up way, it’s almost as if I feel better because screwing him over boomeranged the negative energy he imparted on to me back over to him, like volleying a tennis ball back across the net. I put it back where it belongs and now am relieved of it. I have no idea if she ever read any of my communiques, or if she did, whether it put him in the doghouse or not. It really doesn’t matter either way.

I’m quite sure this makes me some unsettling combination of crazy and mean, but what I actually feel like is that I’m just tired of peoples’ nonsense. Oh well. What I am, I am. And what I’m not, I’m not.

 

Slumping

So, there I was just talking about how I know Scout loves me but it’s not something we’ve ever said to each other and that I’ve never asked for him to.

Well I just asked for him to. As of Saturday night. When he hit me up out of the blue asking what I was doing. But it was 10 or so o’clock by then and I was well out into an outing with some girlfriends and a little on the intoxicated side of things. After some miscommunication on my part causing some delay, I ended up Ubering home and Scout came over.

I honestly remember very little of the conversation but for the parts where I asked him if he loved me and he said yes. But his affirming what I knew and felt wasn’t the precursor to us riding away into the sunset together or anything like that…he kind of asked me what I expected from him regarding his marriage, and I told him not a thing. I remember drunkenly reiterating that this did not mean I expected anything to change and I don’t want him to be scared, I just wanted to know. And now I do.

Of course, thinking about it the next day in a sober state, I felt face-palmingly embarrassed. That is definitely a conversation that I would rather have had non-hammered. Ugh. And of course, not having the mental acuity at the time to accurately gauge his REAL reaction apart from what he actually said, I was afraid maybe I had weirded him out. Ah, but it was a Sunday and so I wasn’t immediately able to smooth things over. I had to wait until Monday.

So I texted him Monday morning to basically say as much. To apologize for broaching that topic of conversation while drunk and then to reiterate that I don’t want anything from him that he doesn’t already give me. He said “Ok no worries” and made other terse replies so I felt like he was being short or awkward and told him jokingly to stop being weird. He didn’t answer that and then we didn’t talk yesterday at all. However, today he initiated conversation and we seem to be in our normal midst of things so I guess all is well.

It’s nice to be loved by someone even though it’s not a traditional relationship and will never be completely fulfilling for either of us. But we are what we are and we do what we do. And that’s it.

Lord knows I need love from somewhere because I’m not having any luck on any other fronts.

After several texts over the course of a week or so that Wiley did not respond to, I kind of got fed up and told him off on Sunday. He responded on Monday with stern replies about how he’s been on vacation with barely any service and he told me he’d be scarce and he enjoyed our dates but he thinks it’s best we leave things here. I guess because I wasn’t understanding enough with barely having spoken to him in 6 weeks. Because it’s 2016 and not the 1980s and everyone has a cell phone attached to their hip these days so I would think a guy that claimed to like me would want to make some type of effort to be in contact despite his apparently heavy duty travel as of late. So the fact is…he didn’t like me enough. That solves that. I don’t really feel that hurt about it, the whole thing just annoys me like most dating scenarios do nowadays because it’s usually just a giant waste of my time, as this was.

Then there was Chad, who as of last night stood me up and is still MIA despite a couple of texts, so there goes that too, I guess. Whatever it was.

Last Tuesday night he happened to ask me what I was up to. I had a late work meeting for the then-upcoming conference I was at from Sunday until this afternoon. He asked what I was doing after because he might be out with a couple of buddies. I ended up meeting him and his friends out – 2 other people from work who I did not know until that point.

Nonetheless, once we all warmed up to each other it was a good time. Also the first time Chad and I had hung out outside of work. His friends started taking off after an hour or so, so Chad I left and walked to another place. Not before Chad took it upon himself to pay my $74.00 tab at the one place, which was random and sweet.

At the second spot I saw one of the owners who I’m cool with sitting at an outside table, so I spoke and told him I’d go in and get a drink and be back out. But once Chad and I were inside he expressed discontent at sitting with a third party because he wanted us to have a chance to be alone. Point taken – we ended up having one more drink inside to ourselves before calling it a night.

And we kissed in the bar briefly and then again outside on the way back to our cars. So that escalated pretty quickly.

Texting was pretty scant in the ensuing days due to his work schedule, and then he had an out-of-state wedding to go to over the weekend, but he did call me Saturday afternoon. We then talked some more Monday afternoon when I was headed out for lunch after the conference business broke. It was then that he took the time to tell me how significant it was for him to invite me around those particular friends because they are really good friends of his. I guess, all-in-all to say he likes me, which he had said in the days before as well. Along with telling me how beautiful I am constantly.

So I suppose we had had tentative plans for him to come by the hotel or to hang out in the vicinity later when I was done at an evening conference event, but I never got back to him because I got tipsy and ended up passing out. Yesterday morning I looked to see he had texted me after 11 to tell me he hoped I had a good night. He said I was supposed to text him and I thought it was the other way around, but whatever the case may be we got past that and he ended up calling me in the late afternoon. He had to work pretty late, but said he’s get up with me when he was done and we’d hang out.

I wanted to see him, and I didn’t want to go out and get too drunk or otherwise indisposed so I forwent several activities I could have attended with friends to have my night clear for him this time since I guess I screwed it up the night before. All I did was order room service and chill in the room watching TV. I sent him a couple of texts – particularly one when he suddenly came up under “People You May Know” from Facebook which means he had checked my page out at some point. I joked with him also about how he had said he was worried about me due to several events that had gone on near the hotel.

I texted him again when I knew work was coming to a close. And then again once I knew it was definitely over and I still had yet to receive ANY responses going on 4 or 5 hours now after we had JUST talked on the phone.

Never heard anything from him.

This morning I woke and lamented to him that he had stood me up after I cleared my night for him and I was disappointed. I  sent another text about 2 hours later that it appears he is actually not a nice guy after all.

So I guess we can just assume he died and that’s very sad. Because I would only find a death or life-threatening injury to be sufficient excuses for behavior like that. Considering anything else would just make me kind of angry. So, whatever happened to him, that sucks.

In any case, I’m not really doing that well on the romantic side of things which is pretty much par for the course so at least if you look at it like that, my life is consistent.

But I am in a slump right now that I want to get out of. Scout  and I agreed that 10 pounds would be good for me to lose. I said 20, he said maybe 8.5, so we agreed on 10. And that’s not because he was trying to make me feel bad about myself or that he even brought it up, it was me whining to him so he was trying to help. And I could lose 10 or so. I’ve been wanting it off for a while and was doing really well, but I regressed because I started drinking more, really out of boredom or just lack of anything else productive to do and alcohol does not do the metabolism any favors.

So, going to kill 2 birds with one stone over the next month I guess. And leaving the boys alone, for now. Except Scout. At least someone cares about me, I guess.