Boomer

I guess it’s about time I mention the latest and greatest, since it’s *seeming* like it might actually go somewhere. But if history is any indication, as soon as I feel like that might be so then shit will hit the fan and everything will crumble to pieces.

In any case, back in the early part of September I started talking to a gent I’ll call Boomer. We clicked pretty instantly. To the point where after exactly 8 days of talking, we both decided that I should go visit him in Dallas 6 weeks from that point while he is there for a couple of months to train for a new job.

And despite the fact that I’d never met him (and had no feasible possibility of meeting him beforehand since he lives over 1,000 miles from me as it is), had only talked to him for a little over a week, and was taking a gamble on booking a trip 6 weeks in the future when who knows if we’d still be talking then or whether one or both would lose interest…I figured, Sure, why not? Well, you know, probably because JAPAN…that’s why not. But when have I ever let common sense stop me?

Besides, I had a work situation brewing that was stressing me out, and this gave me something to focus on and look forward to while I was navigating through that maelstrom. A thin-skinned, idiotic, incompetent bastard of a superior had taken it upon himself to try to make my work life a living hell because he’s a buffoon, and it was taking its toll on me. (Imagine my delight when he got fired. Karma really is a bitch.)

Anyway, at least this endeavor would be way less pricey and way less travel time. And I booked my own separate room this time. I did learn SOMETHING.

Our original weekend was supposed to be November 2 – 4. But that was before he had even started the training and figured he’d be off on weekends for the most part. It turns out that wasn’t the case and in early October I actually had to adjust the trip because he’d be working that weekend. So we ended up moving it up to October 29 – 31. It worked out better that way anyway because I had originally booked a random-ish hotel since he didn’t know where he would be staying. The second time around I was able to book the same hotel. He did offer at that point for me to stay in his room with him, but I told him maybe for the first time around, this might be better so I don’t feel like I’m invading his space. (In reality, I just wanted my own room to be able to retreat to in case anything went sideways.) He was cool with that but said that he just felt like he should offer. That was sweet of him.

On October 29th I adjusted my work schedule so I could make an early afternoon flight and landed in Dallas a little before 4:00 pm. He had work that day and wasn’t sure when he’d get out, but he told me to text him when I landed and he’d possibly be able to pick me up from the airport. It turns out he was able to and so I walked right outside of the door and into his arms after retrieving my bag.

So cute! He looks better in person. Not so much in that he looks that different, but in that way that pictures don’t really do him justice, I should say. In pictures he actually looks kind of like a teenage boy in a way (he’s 39), but in person his face is definitely much more mature looking, even if still boyish. 6’4″, blonde hair, blue eyes. Handsome guy.

When we got to the hotel I got a room on the same floor and it just so happened we were just down the hall from each other, which worked out well in the end. He had mentioned in the car that he was going to “see me to my room so I can get settled” but I could tell in his tone it was actually more of a “so he can bang my brains out” kind of thing, and that’s exactly what happened. We step in and I put my bags down and before you know it we’re naked in bed. And that was totally okay with me.

We got 2 rounds of sex in and then I started unpacking and asking what was up for the night. He made dinner plans for us at an Italian place, so after a little bit of canoodling he left for his room to get ready and I showered and readied in mine (definitely where separate rooms came in handy).

I met him in his room and we drove to the restaurant and had a fabulous dinner. He picked a good spot. We got back to the hotel and decided to hit the hot tub. But not before we banged once again in my room when he walked me there so I could change into my swimsuit. I washed up and changed and met him back in his room, from where we proceeded out to the hot tub together with fresh drinks from the stash in his room. We sat out for a little while but it was pretty warm temperature wise so not the most comfy of hot tub experiences (I prefer when it’s cooler outside for the contrast). We soon decided our time might best be spent in the room, so we called it quits after 45 minutes or so. I changed into some silky night clothes I bought in green in his honor (favorite color) and we drank some more in his room before sexing ourselves to sleep.

The next morning started with a round of sex and then breakfast in the lobby. Then we just chilled around in his room for most of the morning. He was kind of doing his own thing trying to make arrangements to get his car fixed (he had gotten into a minor accident the week before). I let him be and lounged on the couch watching horrific reality shows that he later playfully made fun of me watching – like Catfish and Airplane Repo. But there were only so many channels, what’s a girl to do? (He drew the line at Maury, though.)

Even though there were intermittent spans of time where we’d sit in silence, it felt comfortable and natural. Not awkward. If he was on the couch with me I’d drape my legs over him or try to at least maintain some physical contact but I didn’t feel the need to run my mouth every second although there were moments where I would wonder if the silences are “natural” or if we just don’t have anything to talk about. It seemed more like the former.

These extended first dates can get kind of tricky because most first dates are only several hours at the most. In a situation like this where you’re going to be spending 48 straight hours with someone, it has to be expected that every single moment can’t be filled with conversation and activity. Being “On” for 48 straight hours would be exhausting. And that’s perfectly okay.

Around noon we ventured out to a barbecue spot for lunch and then he stopped at a bank to get cash out to fix his car. That night he had made us reservations at a Five Sixty, a spot at the top of Dallas’ Reunion Tower, but dinner wasn’t until 8:30 pm so we spent most of the afternoon after lunch once again just shooting the breeze in his room. By late afternoon I had started drinking, and he joined in. We got a couple of rounds in before going to get ready. 

I dolled myself up and met up with him and we took an Uber to dinner, which was fabulous. Our waiter was awesome, which prompted me to ask for his manager at the end of the meal to tell the manager how much I enjoyed the meal and the waiter. I figure people are always quick to comment with complaints and dislikes, but we should remember to give praise when it is due as well.

We weren’t quite ready to call it a night at the end of dinner, but we decided to utilize the hotel bar for drinks in lieu of venturing elsewhere in the city. So we Ubered back to the hotel and had a couple of drinks in the lobby bar before going back up to his room and having sex on the floor. And then to bed we went.

On the 31st I had to check out of my room, but my flight wasn’t until the early evening, so when I woke up I went to my room to pack my things and haul everything back to Boomer’s room. Then I checked out and thus his room was my domicile for the remainder. We ate breakfast in the lobby again and then he firmed up plans for getting his car fixed, which his brother-in-law (sister’s husband) was helping with. Luckily for him I was there because he ended up putting me to work. Close to lunch time we drove to Enterprise so he could pick up a rental. We left there for a brief lunch and then drove back to Enterprise so I could retrieve his car and drive it to the car repair shop (about 30 minutes away) with him in the rental.

I must admit, I was slightly nervous to drive his car because it’s bigger than my own, I’m on unfamiliar territory (a different state, no less), and it was raining cats and dogs and there were accidents and backups everywhere once we hit the highway. My GPS was a champ and eventually redirected me from the highway we were on due to an extreme backup. Boomer called and asked where I was going and I told him the highway looked totally blocked and that he should get off too. I actually ended up beating him to the place by 5 minutes or so, with car in tact. I had a minor occurrence of skidding at one point on the highway but it was easily brought back under control. It just shook me up a little bit because I figure it would not make so much of a good impression if I crashed his car. On the way for it to get fixed.

He met me at the place, made the arrangements for his car, and then we went back to the hotel and just chilled out watching TV for the 2 hours or so we had left. Around 3 pm we left for the airport so I could make my 5 pm flight. He thanked me for coming out and we kissed goodbye.

And there officially began the period of “Will I hear from him or won’t I?” “Did he like me or will I get the ‘Thanks but no thanks’?”

To date, it seems like all is normal. We’ve been talking pretty normally and we’ve tenuously alluded to me coming to visit him when he gets back home, but nothing is set in stone yet.

But we shall see.

Reappearing Acts

I ended up hanging out with Martin again last Friday night. We tentatively scheduled to meet up a couple of days before but made no solid plans. I was ambivalent about whether I actually wanted it to happen or whether he himself would follow through, so I ended up scheduling dinner/drinks with a girlfriend of mine for Friday evening as well because she seemed to be under the weather and to need some companionship.

So when Martin texted me that afternoon asking if we were still on, I decided to try and combine the two because I would’ve felt bad about blowing him off. I told him I was meeting up with a girlfriend and that he would be welcome to join. He was hesitant at first about “interrupting” but I assured him it would be fine. I also spoke to said girlfriend – Alana – and made sure it was okay with her. She, too, was reluctant at first because she felt like she would just be the third wheel on a date, but I explained that Martin was just a guy I had gone on one date with and as of now it was more friendly than anything. She was cool with it.

Martin and I live near-ish to each other, and the meeting spot was a spot in a city about 25 minutes away, so he offered to come pick me up. I accepted. I thought that was sweet. Dinner was at 7 so I told Martin to be at my house at 6:30. Between getting off work and then, I had to squeeze in a microblading touch-up appointment I had at 5 p.m. I ended up getting home a little after 6 p.m. with just enough time to spare to care for the cat and refresh myself before he was there to pick me up.

Alana ran about 15 minutes late, but when she arrived I introduced them and everyone got along well and dinner was grand. As it was Friday night and I hadn’t driven, I got a little bit tipsy and then came up with the grand idea of going back to Martin’s place with him to play video games (while Alana was in the bathroom). He was with it, so he took me back and I played about 10 minutes of Fallout 4 and we watched maybe 15 minutes of The Conjuring 2 before we just decided to hit the hay. We drank a little more at his place so I was quite inebriated. I had warned him beforehand that there would definitely be no sex due to the boob situation and he was fine with that. We made out some but that was that.

In the morning we decided to watch the rest of The Conjuring 2 and then he dropped me back home. We had discussed next hanging out on Wednesday. We texted intermittently for the rest of the weekend about our Halloween shenanigans and on Tuesday he did follow up about hanging out the next day, but I never responded. I don’t know why. Or, I do – just not feeling it. But I guess that’s “ghosting” and it’s mean and I should say something though.

Meanwhile, Ross is being quite persistent. I did respond to his mushy diatribe and basically told him I have some issues with men to work through. He responded with how he was “gravely” hurt twice and not ready to open up about it, but does want to hang out. He asked to bring me lunch at work the next day (Monday) but that was my first day back after being off for a week due to my boob job and I knew I’d have a mountain of work to catch up on, so I declined, but suggested maybe a happy hour during the week. He didn’t respond for a couple of days, then texted me on Wednesday about a buddy of his dying on early Tuesday morning from some sudden medical issue. I told him I was sorry but then I didn’t respond for the next few days even though he texted me every day thereafter. On Sunday, he asked why I hadn’t been responding and I told him I had had a rough, tiring, week. Which I had. My boss – who was the best in the world – was leaving for another job and it was her last week so it made me kind of down in the dumps all week, plus the effort of planning for a surprise send-off for her on Friday. I wasn’t getting a lot of sleep and really wasn’t in the mood to talk to anybody.

He asked why it was rough but I didn’t respond and then 8 hours later get a petulant “Hello?” so I finally ask what exactly it is he wants from me. He went into how he wants to get to know me…hasn’t met anyone else he’s had an interest in since meeting me…he has a “vibe it’s worth a try”…blah, blah, blah. I told him I may be willing to hang out and this pattern of texting ensues:

Ross

Jesus…certainly very persistent. I did finally halfway agree to a date for tomorrow night although I have a sushi lunch gathering at a girlfriend’s house in the afternoon and don’t really know how long that will be, if I will feel like going out afterward, or if I really want to go out with Ross. But then if I don’t, I guess I should tell him.

THEN, to top all that off, I get a text from a mysterious phone number yesterday afternoon soon after I got home from work. I tried looking it up in my email (I have an app that backs up every text I send or receive to an email folder, for situations exactly like these), but nothing came up. So after small bit of a song and dance about who it was, it turned out to be none other than Adam, the guy who unceremoniously kicked me to the curb last year.

So, it did just so happen that last week I got to catching up with my buddy, Clyde, who is a coworker of Adam’s. After the original implosion, I vented to Clyde about the situation in the hopes that maybe some of it would get back to Adam because I felt bad about my reaction and Adam had blocked me on pretty much every medium. And, of course, tried a half-assed attempt at smoothing things over with Adam that yielded zero results. Then I moved on with my life.

From time to time, although he had blocked me, I’d still see Adam in pictures on Facebook through either his job or mutual friends, but I didn’t particularly feel any certain kind of way and I never reached out again. A colleague of Clyde’s ended up adding me on Facebook, and I learned through pictures of his that he was friends with Adam as well, and possibly even a former roommate. I’ve never spoken to him though – not sure if he knows about me and Adam or not and it’s really not consequential to anything. In my Bumble travels a couple of months ago, I also ran across Adam’s profile, but I definitely swiped left. And that was about it as far as Adam goes until yesterday.

I was just texting with Clyde last week to catch up and I mentioned my boob job and joked that “Adam lost out,” but it definitely was not really for any purpose of trying to get to Adam – just an honest joke. But then come yesterday, Adam says that Clyde mentioned me to him the other day so he just thought he would reach out. We did some brief catching up and then he wanted to know “if everything is cool now.” I assured him I was over it. He then asked if I had any interest in talking to him. I asked what he would like to talk about and then he randomly asked how we originally met. I replied with “Bumble” and he said he just wanted to make sure it was me because it “didn’t sound like me,” whatever that means. I guess maybe he was expecting fireworks and a parade because he suddenly texted me out of the blue after that shit he pulled last year – uh, what exactly is it you want me to say?

Be that as it may, we ended up having cordial conversation for most of the evening. He did in fact try subtly sniffing around my status by asking “how the rest of the male population is treating me,” AKA “Are you single?” so I’m sensing a little interest there I think, although who knows if it’s genuine or it will just be the same shit all over again. He ended up ending conversation by saying he’s going to bed because he has to be up early. I bade him good night and that was that.

I figure if it was honestly just to “catch up” and see how I’m doing, then that will be the end of it. If he ends up texting me again, then I will know he wants more.

But what I want…I don’t really know.

Hopeless

Well, not much has changed here. My career is looking up, but my love life is still pretty pathetic. I did manage to break my sex drought with Caesar, but it was only one time back in July and it was not a remarkable experience. I’ve barely spoken to him since although we still work out of the same building and thus see each other from time to time. I’m not attracted to him anymore though.

Otherwise, here I am still…29 and single. Starting to hear my biological clock tick. Still struggling to find out how to connect with somebody.

My most recent dating disaster involved a guy I’ll call Robo. He’s a colleague that I knew of, but only actually met in person in early February when I happened into the same bar. I knew who he was when I saw him though. Even though I’d never met him, I’d always kind of admired him due to his reputation for being really physically strong. He flirted with me somewhat, but was very standoffish most of the night. When the bar shut down he walked me to my car somewhat begrudgingly, but then gave me his phone number. I texted him on a tipsy note when I got home and he explained that he’s just very private and didn’t want the other guys he works with in his business, but said that he wanted me to have his number all along and that he liked me. Seemed like a good start to me.

Well from there, it went downhill, like 100% of my encounters with men do. He wasn’t very prompt with answering text messages and that annoyed me. And I don’t mean he didn’t text me back within seconds, but it would be several days of him not answering for hours or even at all. He explained that he was really into training and working out and so wasn’t always available to answer the phone and I accepted that. We kind of fell out once after he literally did not answer me for 3 days but we made up and even made plans to hang out. He was supposed to come over one evening so I could cook him dinner but canceled at the last minute with some bullshit excuse about work. I was irritated, but I got over it and thought we’d reschedule. Well, then I didn’t hear shit from him for the next 5 days despite my daily greetings to him and then when I finally did hear from him, he told me that he was getting back together with an ex. And to top it off, it turned out he gave me his work phone number and not his main phone number, which made sense given him not answering text messages for days at a time.

I happened to see him in the bar the next week and we talked a bit and then he told me it wasn’t an ex, but someone he just met that stole his heart or some shit. Really, dude? He said we’d talk some more but then sneaked out eventually. I texted him when I got home in an irate manner and he said that life is unpredictable and he met someone he cared deeply about. Again…really?  So that conversation did not go well and I left it alone for a couple of weeks. Then I texted him eventually to apologize and make peace and he did not respond. I texted him again in the early morning hours of St. Patrick’s Day and still no response. Then finally today I asked why he was being so mean and he told me he’s not being mean, but he’s in a relationship. I told him I’m no longer interested in him romantically, but just wanted to clear the air so we can be cordial to one another should we cross paths again, that’s all. And I apologized for my vicious behavior and he accepted and I wished him well in his relationship.

But honestly, I really don’t wish him well. Because I’m tired of being the loser in all these love battles. So you basically meet me and another girl around the same time, but for some reason she’s the one who wins your affection and not me? And why is that, exactly? I feel like I’m always on the losing end. Like I’m just chopped liver or something. For once, I would just like to meet a guy I like and have him give some type of damn about me too…just ONE TIME. I’m just starting to think that I’m just some terrible, defective person in some way that I can’t see that makes guys look at me and never see someone they would want to be with. It’s a very sad feeling. And I’m not exaggerating when I say “for once”…I’ve never been in a serious relationship because I’ve literally NEVER been able to sustain a connection with anyone I really like. It’s like if I’m into a guy, then it is automatically made so that he will not be into me.

The one thing I know that hinders me a lot is the fact that I get infatuated really easily. And I get infatuated easily I guess because I’m generally starving for affection yet I’m so picky that I rarely ever meet anyone that I’m solidly attracted to. But when I do meet that person finally, I probably come on unattractively strong. I almost feel like once I get a guy’s number, I should force myself not to talk to him for 2 weeks or so until the initial butterflies have settled. Because anytime before then, I read too much into everything said to me and if I sense a level of enthusiasm less than my own, it drives me crazy.

I am slightly crazy, but not Fatal Attraction crazy.