Ben did eventually answer my messages, but none that were specifically pertaining to our “date” for that next week. So I knew he was being evasive on purpose and that I wasn’t going to see him again. It wasn’t until Sunday that he finally faced it straight on and told me that he had “kinda met a chick” and he thinks they “are gonna be an item.”
Yikes. Well there goes that. I told him I guess it’s for the best because I was starting to like him even though I didn’t mean to.
Only, I knew he was lying. I didn’t believe for one second that there was anyone new. WHO there was was that girl from before he moved here that I had a feeling he was still with. And what I really felt like was that he was starting to actually like me and so was cutting it off in order to try to maintain some semblance of faithfulness to whatever arrangement they had. But I didn’t say any of that – I just told him to take care of himself. Because my plan had been to exit stage left at that point.
It hurt, and it sucked, but I knew she was in the picture before going into it, so I didn’t feel like I had been duped or anything. I just figured I’d just have to wean myself off of him and leave it at that.
I was successful up until this past Tuesday when I decided to update him on my boob job results. I got one exactly a week ago and since I had started talking to him around the time this adventure started solidifying itself as something I wanted to do and had talked to him about it some, I just somehow associate him with it now in my head. And maybe I just wanted an excuse to talk to him.
So I opened up conversation with an update about my first post-op follow-up and he replied and asked how I was feeling and all that good jazz. I didn’t really see a reason why he wouldn’t answer but I was still happy that he did.
Then, since we were completely not on the subject at all, I decided to let him know that I knew he had fibbed a little bit the week before. He asked how so and I told him that I know that there was no one “new.”
He explained that he had a girlfriend that he had broken up with right before he moved this way, but they kept in contact the whole time and then recently decided to get back together. Hmmm. I left that one alone but I think it’s still only a half-truth. I don’t think they ever broke up. He moved here in June. That FB picture of them hugged up on his apartment roof was from late July. She wrote him that mushy-gushy birthday card in early September. When the fuck in there was there ever room for a break up? If that was supposed to be a break up, then I would have to officially declare it the worst break up in the history of break ups because it doesn’t really seem like they ever really made any attempts to actually separate their feelings from one another.
But anyway…I let that one go. He’s telling me as much of the truth as he can muster, and I can accept that. What was kind of cute, I guess, was that he apologized for being distant when we hung out. I told him it was fine, because I knew why.
We continued talking throughout some of that day, but only because I had weaned myself off my Percocet the day before and so my surgeon cleared me for alcohol and thus I decided to partake.
Later that evening I made the mistake of asking him for a selfie of that cute face and he pretty much reamed me out because he is “seeing someone” and “can’t just send me selfies.” He was right, that was inappropriate of me and I apologized. And I told him I wouldn’t talk to him again.
Maybe it goes to show that he either felt bad and/or doesn’t exactly want to NOT talk to me anymore, because he replied to that by turning it into a joke about how next I’ll be asking him for dick pics (I never have) and he added a kissy face emoji, so I guess he felt bad and was trying to be nice.
I talked to him some yesterday, but mostly stupid shit about Netflix. I will have to move on with my life for now because it will in fact be difficult for me to interact with someone I’ve been intimate with and am attracted to without trying to cross lines that shouldn’t be crossed if he is with his stupid girlfriend.
This, in my mind, begs some questions though. Like, if they are so serious, then why did she not move with him? Like, bitch, if you’re not committed enough to move with him, then step the fuck off and let him be free to see whoever. That’s just selfish.
And then also…why does this bother me so much when I only hung out with him 3 times? Ugh.
I did make it very clear to him that I am still open to him if they don’t work out. All I can hope is that this is just one of those things that is having problems extinguishing because he just moved and is lonely and she’s been something familiar for him to still hang on to until he gets his bearings here. What I’m not going to do is chase him or pine openly for his attention. If it’s meant to be, he will be back.
And if not, well at least my boobs are even huger now. I have that going for me at least.