So it turns out that Vander and I never amounted to anything. Nothing ever “happened,” per se, it’s just that, although it seemed to have so much promise, he never really made any serious moves.
He actually DID end up breaking up with his girlfriend though, which I didn’t learn of until some days after the fact. We had been texting on a Friday and he alluded to something bothering him. I asked what and he advised me that he had given her the axe the last Sunday and that she wasn’t taking it well. He sounded pretty down in the dumps so I told him he could call me if he wanted to talk, and he did.
They were supposed to be going on a trip to the beach together over the coming weekend and she was trying to coax him into going just as “friends” even though he had already told her he didn’t care about the money, and that it wasn’t a good idea anyway. She kept calling and texting and making him feel like a prick, and then I believe some mutual friends of theirs took it upon themselves to make Vander feel even more like a prick by adding their two cents.
I felt bad for him because he is a good person and I could see that he genuinely felt awful about hurting her, but he just knew she wasn’t for him. Although, I was also secretly happy because I figured that he would take a little bit of a breather to unwind from that for a week or so, and then see if maybe WE might be a better match, right?
Wrong. He never pulled the trigger. We stayed in normal contact for a while – he didn’t ghost on me or anything like that – but it started to become a waiting game that I felt like was never going to end. I was anticipating some type of overture towards us at least hanging out, but it never occurred. But in my mind the ball was now in his court so it was his move to make. And he never did.
The last time we texted was some time in the last week of April, so I haven’t talked to him in over a month now. The last response was from me and he never answered and I just didn’t really give a damn at that point because it felt like a movie that was just dragging on and on and on with no climax or resolution and I was impatient and bored by that point. Like, either ask me out, or why are we talking? You’re single now, what’s the problem? I never expressed anything like that to him openly, but that was my mindset.
Figuring that even if he was really “in his feelings” (as he termed it) it about the break up, which I realize can still hurt even if you’re the one doing the breaking up, so maybe he needed a bit more space before pursuing something else…the fact of the matter is that I still have not heard anything from him in over a month. So, assuming that he is over his break up by now it must be concluded that he lost interest for whatever reason.
We are still friends on Facebook though. Either he or she untagged him from all their cutesie couple pics, so I guess it really is a done deal.
But there is also another reason our failure to launch wasn’t such a big deal to me. And that’s because someone else had already started stealing my interest anyway…