And So On

Reed and I got the email situation worked out. He ended up finding my email from Thursday in his junk folder on Monday. My email did in fact get resent as promised, but it got resent right to the trash. Thanks, U.S. Navy. Good thing I sent him a follow-up email on Sunday. I happened to check my spam folder on Monday and found a couple of error messages from weeks ago that had bounced back from his email address.  I guess that explains why there was at least one email I sent previously that it seemed like he didn’t read. Apparently the internet connection in the middle of the ocean is quite precarious. Or the Navy server hates me. One or the other.

It has been more of the same. Our exact itinerary is still up in the air, but he is throwing out a lot of ideas and appears to be looking forward to my visit as much as I am, which is good to know. He is not on the carrier for too much longer, so he will be back in Japan for a short while before my arrival. I suppose he will have more time to narrow everything down then.

One thing about him is that he likes to cook and he is pretty confident when it comes to his culinary skills. I was hoping that I’d get to experience a Chef Reed original at some point during my stay, and we both decided that my first night would be optimal since I’ll likely be tired from traveling. So on night one he’s going to cook for me and we’ll likely just hang out at his house. Sounds perfect to me. (As long as there’s wine.)

So far he has to work during one day of my stay. He assured me I’d be fine to hang out at his house while he’s gone, unless I really wanted to get out and about and in that case he would school me on the train system. I don’t imagine I will feel the need to do any exploring on my own. I don’t have the greatest sense of direction, so adding a foreign country and language on top of everything would likely equal a recipe for disaster.

We’re coming up on about a week and a half to go, and the passage of time is excruciatingly slow. Yet I know it’ll be here suddenly, I’ll likely have the time of my life, and then it’ll be time to go suddenly. And then life will slow down again.

I’m not sure what to expect, but I feel like whatever it is will be worth it. I like him. I like him a lot. I can’t think of one time in my past that a guy has held my attention like this, for this long, without having met in person. Probably because this is a situation that normally wouldn’t hold my interest for long, if even at all. The fact that this started off with us knowing we were a sizeable distance from each other (even when he was in the United States), and without having any firm plans to meet (until recently), but yet were still both drawn to talking to each other…there’s something organic about that that I like. How seamless it was, the evolution from him being some random Tinder stranger to the point where his texts and emails started making me smile. Happened before I even knew it. This guy that I’ve never even met.

Is meeting a necessary element of a romance? Everyone’s idea of love is different. You have couples that meet online and eventually end up committing to each other and engaging in serious relationships without having ever met. If it works for them, more power to them, I guess, but words and pictures aren’t a person. A person is a 3-dimensional autonomous being.

For me, attraction is not just words or physical appearance, but the sum of those factors plus a host of intangible/subconscious factors that we don’t really fully understand. “Chemistry,” we tend to call it. Attraction is not just looking at a man and thinking he is cute. Thinking someone is cute is thinking someone is cute; attraction is a pull. I have been attracted to men who I don’t even think are necessarily good looking, and have been completely uninspired or unstimulated by men that I do think are good looking. Attraction is a cauldron of many different factors that I personally think can really only be properly gauged in person. Otherwise you are attracted to someone based on incomplete information, and are thus filling in the blanks yourself and probably making someone into more of an ideal than they really are. I don’t see the point of having a relationship in that state.

We always think of attraction in the sense of positives, however attraction is also an implicit acceptance of things about a person that you don’t necessarily care for or don’t necessarily meet an ideal. I notice sometimes that in missing a person, whether it’s romantic or not, I miss the things that actually get on my nerves along with everything else. A person’s negative traits are best assessed in person because it’s easy to hide shortcomings over a phone, and thus I think getting a sense of a person’s whole self – positives and negatives and everything in between – can only be truly explored with in-person interaction.

I think I’ve received enough information about Reed at this point to say without about 88.7% reliability that I will be attracted to him in person. Anything could happen, but I think all will go just swimmingly. But there’s only one way to tell.

I’m slightly nervous that I’m going to be essentially shacking up with him for 5 nights right off the bat. He’s going to see me “without makeup.” Meaning: with penciled eyebrows, concealer under my eyes, and a hint of blush. As if I’m really going to go bare-faced around him. Ha! It’s so cute when men think you really aren’t wearing any makeup whatsoever. I had a coworker this afternoon pull me up and tell me how good my face looks completely natural.

In other news…my foot is at about 90%. I tried it out in the gym for the first time yesterday morning and managed to get some squats and leg presses in successfully, although I didn’t feel quite up to resuming my normal treadmill intervals yet, so I just did a hilly walk. Reed mentioned something about a “Hash Run” if we can fit it in. I’d never heard of it before he mentioned it, but it apparently has something to do with running and drinking. I don’t know if my foot will quite be up to it, but I guess as long as there’s alcohol at the end of the road, I can try to fight the good fight.

On a completely unrelated note…I find myself wanting to create. Specifically, to draw. I’ve always had artistic capabilities that are above average and have drawn in the past, but I haven’t actually done so years. I scrapbook every once in a while, but that’s been about it for a while. But I was in Michael’s the other night and I was feeling inspired. I wanted to buy everything in the store. I love arts and crafts. But maybe it’s just PMS. Whatever.

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