Rocky: I remember being so giddy in the immediate aftermath of Rocky’s previous visit, only to get to work later that day and be delivered highly distressing news. As a result, my focus on him came to a dead halt for a time as I had more pressing matters to contend with. Nevertheless, just like that last entry, I once again write subsequent to a visit from him.
Since that morning we’ve been in intermittent contact, but not in such a salacious manner like before. He hasn’t initiated any kind of conversation along those lines so I’ve just been going with the flow. I did end up sending him some more naughty pictures the week before last just to kind of test him. He responded positively, but that’s about it. Most of our recent conversation has centered around me offering my assistance with a work project, namely by creating a CD of files he needs for it. We spoke last week and he told me he’d meet up with me this week to pick it up.
I texted him yesterday to make arrangements for him to get the CD. I let him take the lead on making the plans because I wanted to see if he’d want to meet at work or be willing to come to my house. He asked when I was working and then asked if I’d be available around 11 today. I told him I wanted to try to get to the gym but otherwise would be available. He asked if the gym was closer to home or to work, which struck me as odd because it implied that he maybe wanted to meet me there in lieu of at my house. I took that to mean that he was reluctant to come to my house because other things might happen. I asked why this sounded like some type of covert CIA operation and then told him he needn’t worry about coming to my house, I’m not going to sexually assault him or anything. I told him I would literally walk the CD out to his car if that makes him feel better. Or I could just deliver it to him at work. He said I must think he’s a wimp. I said I know he’s not, but that I can sense that he’s kind of frightened of me. He said it’s himself that he’s frightened of because he has no self control. I told him of course he does, after all it did take me about a month to wear him down. I was being facetious of course. He never answered so I’m not sure he appreciated my humor.
In any case, he said 11 this morning so I still expected him at that time. I was out kind of late last night but I woke up at 9 nonetheless and texted him to see if he was still coming. He confirmed that he was so I showered and groomed and primped myself so I would look good for him. I wasn’t really sure what to expect…if he would just grab the CD and bounce? If he would want to hook up? While I was hoping it wasn’t the former, I wasn’t exactly intending on pressing him for the latter. I was just sort of hoping he’d want to all on his own.
As promised, I opened the door with CD in hand and handed it to him as soon as he stepped in. He took it and thanked me and I think I was smiling stupidly and/or must’ve said something to the effect of “I told you so” (as in: I told you I would do what I said with no funny business), because he said something like he feels like I’m being smart. He then came in for a hug and we embraced and he looked so good and smelled so good and felt so strong that I couldn’t help but to nuzzle his neck a little. Nuzzling turned into kissing and his hands started traveling lower down my back and he pressed me against the wall. He asked where my roommate was and I told him not to worry, she’s knocked out in her room. I then suggested we go upstairs to my room in case she wakes up and comes downstairs. He told me he shouldn’t, but we kept on kissing and then I told him I could just take care of him really quick. He didn’t protest, so I took his hand and led him up to my room.
I told him he doesn’t have to be afraid of me, I’m not scary. He said it wasn’t that, but that he felt guilty after he left the last time. I reminded him that he has nothing to worry about, his secret is safe with me. We started kissing again and he backed me up against a wall yet again (must be his thing) where we made out some more. It wasn’t long before he took my shirt off and was pushing my bra straps down and fondling and kissing my boobs. He led me over to my bed and sat me down and stood in front of me and pulled himself out. I went to work and he came in less than a minute. I sat him down next to me on my bed and we talked for a little while about various things. It wasn’t long before I felt the urge to put my mouth on him again, so I made him lie back and I took his pants down and went back to work again. He was completely soft when I started and it was taking considerable effort to get him aroused again, yet slowly but surely I was starting to make some progress. And then his phone rang. And it was the girlfriend. He didn’t answer of course, but needless to say, the mood was spoiled. So much for that.
He got dressed and I walked him out and he kissed me goodbye. He told me I’m a bad influence. And I am. And I don’t like that I make him feel guilty. I want to make him feel good, not bad. He’s obviously conflicted over this situation. He’s clearly physically attracted to me on one hand, but on the other hand, he’s in a relationship. He obviously did try to resist me initially, but I purposely wore him down, and that makes me feel kind of bad. I don’t want him leaving me feeling guilty about it all. I don’t want to feel like I’m corrupting him either. That’s no fun. So I think I’m going to leave him be. I don’t want to feel like I’m pressuring him to do things he doesn’t feel good about. If he initiates contact with me, I’m all for it. But I will let the ball be in his court.
Woody: Woody has been great lately. I spent most of the weekend after my terrible job news in a state of pseudo-depression, which Woody was kind enough to assist me with drinking away. He really stepped up to the plate and helped me sort through things. He really is a great guy. If only I were sexually attracted to him…
Unfortunately we had to have yet another discussion about how romantically interested in him I’m totally not. I had to break it down to him that I am in fact NOT at all attracted to him in that way and never will be. He always acts like he understands that and is fine with it, but then I can always sense an undertone to his demeanor like he’s secretly hoping that I’m going to break down one day and run into his arms or something.
In any case, we’ve managed to remain grand friends after that minor bump in the road. He’s been a great source of wisdom, logic, and comfort, and I really am glad we are friends. We’ve had dinner and drinks several times this week as a matter of fact. The other night alone he spent $245.00…yikes.
Curt: The Friday before last I went to a happy hour with some work friends and became acquainted with a guy named Curt. I know Curt from around the job but we’ve never really spoken before. We got to chit-chatting about various topics, including bicycling. I recommended a brand to him and he said he would check it out. Lo and behold, he ended up asking me for my phone number shortly before he left, under the guise of discussing biking. I knew that was a ruse, but I went with it. He’s not my usual type, but he’s not a bad looking guy.
We started texting and he got around to asking me if I had a boyfriend. I playfully pointed out that I caught on to his ruse, to which he confessed. He asked me out to dance or something for that Monday, but I was so tired/hungover from the rest of my antics over that weekend that I wasn’t up to it when the time came.
He maintained contact and had invited me to a happy hour last Friday, but I didn’t feel like coming out so I didn’t reply. He called me that evening and said that all of his friends/co-workers kind of flaked on him, so he wanted to know if I was coming. I said no, but offered him the option of coming to hang out at my place if he wanted. He ended up coming over and we drank and ordered food and watched a movie. I looked and felt like a mess. I didn’t really bother getting dolled up for him or anything since I’m not extremely interested in him. But it was a good time in any case. He’s not bad to hang out with.
Blaze: The same night I met Curt, I ended up hanging out with Blaze after he texted me later that night to see what I was doing. He said he was drinking at home and wanted me to come over. I told him I’d had a little to drink and was tired, so I wasn’t interested in driving all the way there for 20 minutes. He said I could stay. Hmm…ok.
I get there, we hang for a bit, and then we go to his room, which I’ve actually never been in. We do the usual and then go to sleep. Not before him telling me that he has to work in the morning and thus has to get up at the crack of dawn, which at that point was in a couple of hours. That annoyed me because I wouldn’t have bothered coming if I knew that was the case. I was too tired to protest so we went to sleep. He actually spooned me, which was interesting.
But I was not happy when his alarm went off and the first thing he did was wake me up so I could leave. I mean, really…I can’t even stay until you’re done getting ready for work? That kind of annoyed me. And part of me feels like he probably didn’t really have to work at all, but just made that up so he could kick me out early. Whatever.
Brett: The next night I went out and ended up meeting a hot guy named Brett. I was completely wasted so I can’t really recall exactly how we met in the bar, all I know is that we ended up making out there (I think) and then outside near my car, which we walked to during my short-lived determination to drive us both to my house before (thankfully) realizing I was way too drunk. His roommate that he was with ended up fetching us and driving us all back to their house, whereupon arrival Brett and I escaped to his room and spent most of the night having drunken sex. In the morning we did it again and then talked for a while. He seemed like a pretty nice guy. And was pretty cute.
He drove me back to my car and we said our goodbyes. I didn’t think he was going to because he waited until the very last second, but he asked if I wanted his number right as I was opening the door to get out. I took it and gave him mine and we kissed goodbye. Yet the several texts I sent him in the days afterward went unanswered. So I deleted his number. What was the point of that, exactly?
Zach: Zach is a douche. He reinforces this time and time again, but I always seem to forget. He was texting me several nights ago trying to get in my pants, but insisting that we do it a certain way that I wasn’t interested in. And because I rejected that idea, he wasn’t interested in doing it at all. Which is par for the course with him, because he’s the most selfish lover I’ve ever known. And that’s why he’s so mediocre in bed, and why, although he’s pretty good looking, I’m just really not turned on by him.