Sleeping Dogs

As I expected, nothing good came of the Zach situation and I was reminded why it’s always better to just let sleeping dogs lie.

He never came over that Saturday because he ended up getting a surgery moved up to the Thursday before which necessitated a couple weeks of recovery time. I made the effort to text him every few days or so to check on him, which would lead to idle chit chat. He commented once that I had been “awesome” lately, and said that he can’t wait to have our sushi night.

Even still, I wasn’t too surprised when I woke up last Wednesday morning to see that he had sent me 6 text messages after I had gone to sleep. Even before I read them I knew what they would say.

In so many words he said that his heart belongs to someone else and thus he wants to end contact with any girl he’s had a physical relationship with. He knows I’ll be mad and chew him out but it’s for the best and he knows I’ll find someone one day who will sweep me off my feet and blah, blah, blah.

My response was short and sweet: I said I wasn’t mad at all (and I really wasn’t…more amused than anything because I KNEW it was coming…it always does with him) and that I deserved it for reinitiating contact with him again against my better judgment because he will never change. I wished him well in finding what he’s looking for and told him to have a nice life. Deleted his number from my phone and kept it moving.

No big loss really. It would’ve been nice to see him again and I may or may not have had sex with him, but I can’t say that he was really lighting my fire. I was looking forward to seeing him just because I hadn’t seen him in a while, but my attraction to him over the years (due to situations like this…plus the fact that he’s really only a so-so lover) has always ebbed and flowed. I’m not sure we’ve ever had real chemistry. He would’ve just been something to do, ultimately. Why I went 6 months without talking to him and then felt the need to reconnect instead of just letting things be, I don’t know. Boredom I guess.

Lesson learned. I’m leaving that clown alone for good this time. He has issues and I don’t have time for his nonsense.

In other news, I happened to Blaze’s Facebook page recently and noticed that it says he’s in a relationship, which it definitely hadn’t since that time in September or whenever it was. I can’t see exactly when it was posted and there’s no other party tagged or anything like that, it just says it under the “Relationship Status” portion. I was a little disappointed at first and vowed to myself not to speak to him again, but then I gave it a few days and decided to test him. I wanted to see if he’d decline my advances and/or be forthcoming about his relationship if I tried to keep it business as usual.

And the answer is an emphatic NO. If he is in fact in a relationship he hasn’t let on to it. He had said that he would be “busy” for the next couple of weeks, but he was clearly still interested in seeing me. I went over to his place Saturday night, as a matter of fact. So…I can’t call it. Don’t really care.

I went out the Friday before last with Carly and other friends and had a ball. At the end of the night as I was getting in my car this random guy came up and started talking to me. He was with 2 other guys and lived nearby and eventually asked me to come hang out. Eh…okay. I’m not always ready to turn in at the end of the night and so I went with it. He was a dentist and completely not my usual type, so I knew nothing romantic would be going down, but I was down to hang. Probably not the safest thing in the world to traipse off to some random guy’s place with him and 2 other random guys, but I tend to feel pretty safe for certain reasons.

Went to his place, chilled and talked, then ended up sleeping on his couch. He slept in his bed and his friends slept on the floor. No one ever made a pass or made me feel uncomfortable, so that was a plus.

I woke up in the morning and got up to leave. I figured that since he let me crash and was generally kind of a nice guy, I’d leave a note with my number to be nice.

He hit me up later that day and immediately asked me to send him a “sexy pic.” Wow…really? I told him no thanks, not interested. And that was that.

My romantic life, in case it isn’t already apparent, is a complete flat line right now. No prospects whatsoever. I’ve pretty much cooled on Blaze and have resigned myself to this unfulfilling arrangement (until someone else comes along to catch my attention) just to have some form of sexual interaction with someone I’m slightly into. But even he isn’t really all that cute to me anymore. Yawn.

It’s been freezing cold lately and I’ve been trying to get my new living situation together (so far, so good), so I haven’t been going out much lately. As such, I’ve been drawn to which hasn’t really been any help. The only guys that email me are guys I’m not at all interested in. The guys I think are fairly attractive, I just don’t bother making the effort to contact. There have been guys that have liked my pic or winked and I’ll send a wink in return…and nothing. It’s utterly useless.

It’d be great to at least find someone to have good sex with…

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