I hit the bar with some friends Thursday night to celebrate a birthday and ended up getting insanely, insanely intoxicated to the point where I don’t remember much of the night after a point. But I’m fairly confident that I didn’t do anything to make much of a fool of myself, so that’s always good. I was, however, severely hungover for the majority of yesterday and instead of getting dolled up and going out to enjoy a beautiful Friday night in the waning days of summer, I instead spent it on the couch eating pizza, drinking soda, and throwing it all back up. Serves me right.
I ended up crossing paths with Domino during Thursday’s outing. He was working, but he stopped by the bar for a visit since he’s also friends with the people I was out with. I had a drunken conversation with him that I can’t really recall, but I think I offered an apology for last week’s disagreement and happily announced that I’d gotten my period and thus was officially un-pregnant with his child that it would’ve been biologically impossible for me to have been pregnant with to begin with.
I tried to smooth things over the best I could but he didn’t seem to be that receptive. Maybe because he was working, maybe because I was drunk and annoying, but I don’t think any progress was made on that front. Clearly he’s just not that into me. Oh well. I think I looked pretty hot though, which is always a plus when running into an ex.
Thursday afternoon, Blaze came over before work and we did our same old song-and-dance. We’d had a discussion about a week ago where I tried to hint to him that it’d be nice if it were more to it than this. He said he doesn’t have a lot of time to hang out. I told him that people make time for what they want to make time for. He agreed but then said he’s not looking for anything besides a good time. Well that settles that.
After Thursday’s festivities I told him I know he has to get to work, acknowledging his inevitable quick departure, but he said he had a few more minutes to hang out and then joked that I sound like I’m trying to kick him out. Oh, the irony. I’m not really sure what the point of this arrangement is, but he is really cute. I sent him a couple of drunken texts Thursday night and then apologized yesterday. No biggie.
And as is always the case in my life, the nice guy who wants me and would probably treat me like a queen is the guy I don’t have any interest in. This time it’s Woody. He’s a guy from work that I’ve only recently started being friendly with although we’ve worked together for a while now. He’s a real sweetheart who helped me out of a jam and let me crash at his house last Sunday morning when I was drunk. He took really good care of me, fed me, and never tried to get frisky or anything. Especially after that though, I could tell that he was trying to turn this into a romantic thing so I had to shut that down by advising him that I have a rule not to date anyone I work with. So he has been well advised that I’m not interested. He’s a great friend though. Easy to talk to. Genuine. Loyal. I enjoy hanging out with him platonically. I went over his house the other night after work because he was feeling down about a work situation. I had a few drinks while he downed shot after shot of Patron. He wanted me to crash, but I left.
Woody is a great guy, but I’m just not attracted to him romantically. For one, he’s shorter than me, and that’s a big no-no. Then, before we even started getting friendly, another girl at work who had fooled around with him in the past randomly told me that he is built “like a pencil” down there. Again, no thanks. Plus he’s a mid-40s divorced father of two, and he made it known that he’s gotten snipped and can’t have any more kids. At this point in my life where I’ve come to the realization that marriage and children are things I could see for myself in the future, I’m starting to focus more on that bigger picture when it comes to men. Woody and I would have nowhere to go. I don’t want to be a step-mother. I mean, I guess I would if I happen to meet a man who already has children (it seems like a rarity to meet anyone – man or woman – without kids these days), but I want my own children as well.
Eventually. No rush. I do relish my single, attachment-free existence. It’s the only thing I’ve ever known. I like being able to go out whenever and wherever I want to. I like being able to spend all my money on me.
This latter point is especially important being as I’ve recently come to take a stronger interest in fashion. High-end, designer fashion, more specifically. I’ve always liked clothes and bags and shoes, but not necessarily to the extent where I followed or revered specific fashion houses. But as of late, I’ve started to view fashion in the perspective of my naturally creative nature, and to appreciate it as the art form that it is. So I’m now inspired to revamp my wardrobe. If I can’t have a nice man, I guess it doesn’t hurt to have nice clothes at least. The ultimate triumph would be having a nice man to buy me these nice clothes…