All That Matters

Of the myriad of unexpected joys that life has to offer, I’d say that running across an ex while looking insanely hot is definitely up there on the list in terms of personal satisfaction. The worse the terms that you and the ex are on, the better it feels. Looking good is always fantastic revenge for essentially any kind of matter, but in romance, it’s kind of the ultimate.

Now, this wasn’t exactly an ex I ran into on Monday night, but it could’ve been. Our blossoming romance lasted but a week and then went sharply and completely downhill after that, but he was the last person I had an interest in.

Jax and I met in early May at a bar I frequent. We got to texting and he showed what seemed like genuine interest and I started to like him. I subsequently hung out at said bar with him and his friends that next week and ended up crashing in his bed that night. He felt me up a little bit but didn’t try anything major. The next morning he drove me to my car and we parted pleasantly, but I could sense that something was off. Nonetheless, I was eager to hear from him again to see where we would go from there. He hit me up later in the day, but it was only to blow me off. He gave me some sob story about having just broken up with someone still having feelings for her. I wasn’t pleased with feeling like I’d been lead on, even if it was for a mere week. Why are you texting me incessantly if you’re still into someone else? I was disappointed and I showed it.

I left it alone for a week or so, then inevitably drunk texted him some nonsense. I can’t remember if he ever answered or not. The last time we had contact was around early June. I still had bad feelings about how everything had been left and given that I knew I’d eventually run into him again, I was trying to make everything friendly again. It did not go well. I guess my approach wasn’t the best. He started carrying it like I was some type of crazed stalker and since it had never even remotely approached that point, I ended up cursing him out something terribly. Needless to say, we hadn’t spoken since then. And I hadn’t seen him at the bar since that last time we hung out. I wonder if he was purposely staying clear because he knew I frequented it.

Monday evening I started off at another bar that I like to go from time to time. When I got bored there, I wandered over to the original one. As I’m crossing the street – in a crosswalk, at a stop sign, I might add – there’s a car carrying a group of guys coming to the stop sign. But it barely even slows down, much less bothers to come to an actual stop. The bouncer outside witnesses this and he and I are both like WTF when I make it over. I’m so flabbergasted (as well as slightly intoxicated, which definitely lended more melodrama and outrage to the situation than was called for) that I spent the next several minutes outside with him discussing the nerve of that asshole driver.

Well imagine my surprise when the group of guys from the car comes sauntering up the way to head in and I see that it’s Jax and his friends. Jax wasn’t the driver, it was a buddy of his – Bean – that I’m cool with. Jax enters the bar without saying a word to me, as expected, as I’m standing there with the bouncer chastising Bean for damn near running me over. However, all is forgiven when he offers to buy me a shot. I then ask him if that was Jax with him and he says it was. I say “Well THIS could be awkward…” and he tells me I should just go talk to him. Yeah, okay.

We go in and Bean immediately buys shots for everyone, including me, and I see Jax sitting at the bar but I don’t even dare approach him. This guy I’ve seen and talked to there before, but whose name I don’t know, calls me over and I go and talk to him and his friends for a while. They happen to be sitting right behind where Jax and his friends are sitting at the bar. At some point I feel someone bump against me, and it’s Jax. He’s standing right behind me, with his back to me, I guess talking to one of his friends. He doesn’t say anything after he bumps me and I think that there’s no way he didn’t know he bumped into someone and there’s also no way he didn’t know that that someone was me. I left it alone, though.

The events of the night start getting fuzzy at this point, but I remember the guy whose name I don’t know and his buddies migrating to another bar in the back of the premises and telling me I could join them if I wanted. Not so long after that, I wanted another shot so I asked Bean if he and his buddies wanted one and they did. The guy whose name I don’t know happened to be standing in the vicinity, so I got him one too. I even asked Jax if he wanted one in the spirit of not being rude, and he did so I bought him one and that’s the first time we spoke, I think. I eventually apologized to him for cursing him out and he said “No hard feelings” and kept looking at me, giving me these shy, boyish smiles. Shortly after that, they all left.

So I went to join the guy whose name I don’t know and his friends at the rear bar. We did a shot. I soon had to pee so I walked back out to the front bar, where the bathroom is. And what do you know, Jax and his friends were back. I don’t know where they went, but I guess they didn’t like it. Jax is on the digital jukebox at one point choosing songs, and I go over and bump him out of the way and choose a song (The Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Gold Lion) on his dime. He doesn’t seem to have a problem with it. I think we might even have hugged at one point, via Bean’s encouragement. This might’ve been when I apologized to him. I can’t really remember.

I remember roughhousing with him a little, drunkenly singing Gold Lion and throwing playful punches to his torso. Sooner or later they start discussing plans to go to another bar across the street.

That’s when I get bored and wander back over to the first bar I was at. There, I see this guy, Brillo, that I met and talked to there one other time before, a couple months ago. He’s tall and fit and has a head full of black, bushy, curly hair. He was very flirtatious that previous time, but I remember he had a girlfriend. Well, apparently they’ve broken up. I was drinking only water at this point, but he bought me a drink that I only drank half of. Then I ordered a pizza and we shared some of it and then I wanted to go home. He walked me to my car and I drove him a couple of blocks to his place. He asked me to kiss him and I did, a couple of times. I gave him my number, but I haven’t heard from

In any case, I’m glad I went through the trouble of dolling myself up before I left the house. My hair was freshly washed and wavy, my smoky eyeshadow was perfect, my lips were pink, and my cleavage was insane. Do I think Jax is going to have some sudden change of heart and contact me trying to get back in my good graces? Nah. Do I think he was at least tempted to do so after seeing what he missed out on? Yes! That’s all that matters.

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