Lost and Found

Well Hawk and I ended up having a few words yesterday morning via text and thus, that friendship has now officially come to an end. His ego still wouldn’t allow him to admit that he was wondering if I missed him in a romantic sense when he asked. He said he never wanted me then (true), still doesn’t want me now (obviously false), and that I took his question way into “left field” (false again).

If I was the one that took his question the wrong way, then why would he delete me? If it was a mistake on my part, shouldn’t I at least be the one deleting him because I feel stupid?

I’m not saying he wanted to marry me or anything, or even really develop something serious. As a male colleague told me yesterday after I relayed the circumstances, he probably just wanted to get some and was trying to tap into my emotions to do so. I wouldn’t doubt it. But the fact remains that he obviously had an interest in me that was more than friendly, and upon my confirmation that that interest was one-sided, he didn’t take it well.

Just last week, he was inviting me over his house after 9:00 at night for movies and popcorn. And a “massage,” which was really random because I said nothing about being sore or tense or stressed or anything. Yeah buddy, I know what that means…

For good measure, I blocked his Facebook account and then I blocked his number from sending me texts. No big loss if I never see or hear from him again, honestly. We talked every once in a while and hung out from time to time, but he wasn’t a major presence in my life (i.e. part of my support system). My bullshit tolerance level these days is very low.

So I lost a friend in the morning. But on a brighter note…I (re)gained one in the afternoon.

Checked my phone around 1:30 p.m. and lo and behold, there’s a text from Zach. We hadn’t spoken a word since that incident with him trying to hook me up with his friend (I just realized in linking the post concerning that, which was on May 1, that I hadn’t spoken to Zach in over 3 months). I’ve thought about him from time to time and have been tempted to reach out, but I didn’t know what to say so I just didn’t.

He apologized for the way things went down and said he just wanted to see how I was doing. I kept my response short and sweet and told him I’m fine and hope he is as well. He told me he didn’t think I’d respond and told me to not be mad at him. He said he was sorry for being an ass all the time.

Then, totally uncharacteristically of him, he asked me if I’d be interested in meeting up for drinks one night. I told him that’d be fine and then he asked if I’d like to do it that evening.

Wow, imagine that! When we were fucking, he NEVER took me out. Not even once. I asked, and he claimed he would, but he never did. The only time we ever went anywhere was when he took me to a pool on his motorcycle shortly after we became acquainted.

The surprises just kept coming. I assumed he’d decide on a place and we’d meet there, but like a true gentleman, he told me he’d pick me up at 6 and we’d go somewhere to eat. Wow. Totally new side of Zach. Amazing.

True to his word, he was at my house shortly before 6. We were going to go to this American/Mediterranean grille he’s been to before, but we spied a sushi place right next door to it and opted for that instead. We ate good sushi; he drank a glass of red wine and I had 2 cocktails. We had fun. He apologized again for that episode with his friend; he swore he meant well and that he didn’t know his boy would be inappropriate like that.

He reminded me of what I said about him being bad in bed. I told him it’s just because he’s such a selfish lover. He said “not anymore.” He said he was vacationing in Florida with friends when we had our falling out and he showed everyone that text message and they laughed. LOL, he’s such a goof…who does that?

After sushi, we stopped by a wine store and got a bottle of red wine. We came back to my place and camped out in the living room drinking the wine and watching a movie (“The Box” ). He was a good boy until midway through the movie when he wanted to start feeling on me. I know he didn’t think just because he spent a little bit of money on me he was gonna get some because I definitely wasn’t in the mood for all that.

I’m PMSing and thus I feel bloated and whale-like and my breasts are sore as hell and don’t take kindly to big hands pawing all over them. I let him have a little fun but not too much because I didn’t want him getting carried away. I let him know it wasn’t happening that night. He was cool with it. We both had work this morning though so we didn’t get to finish the movie. We hugged and he left and I was happy. I had fun. It was good to make up with him. He does seem less asshole-like. For now, at least.

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