Tick, Tick

Yesterday, my good friend Sasha and I went to a get together at our other friend Leah’s house. We’re all friends from college. I don’t see either of them that often, so it’s always nice when we can all hang. It was a good time.

Sasha is one of the few females I know of that’s like me – unmarried (although she always has serious boyfriends) and without kids. On the other hand, Leah is married and has a 2-year-old son. She and her husband have a nice house and seem to enjoy a happy existence together. It’s funny how things turn out. I remember when Leah first started dating her husband in college. She was iffy about him at first. Now 8 years later here they are.

Her son is totally adorable. I had fun playing with him yesterday. He was especially fun after Sasha fed him some cake. That little boy ran me ragged. But suddenly I was wondering what it’d be like to have a little one of my own.

The whole experience made me feel kind of wistful. In my old age, it’s family environments like that that make me wonder if I’ll ever have a family of my own. Will I ever get married? Do I even wanna get married? Will I ever have kids?

I don’t know for sure if I ever wanna get married. I always tell people that if I were to get married, I wouldn’t see anything wrong with me and my husband maintaining separate bedrooms, like roommates. They look at me like I’m an alien. What’s so wrong with that? I mean, you can always sleep in either of the beds together if you wanted to. Do you really have to sleep together every night? I guess I’m just so used to being single and sleeping alone that I can’t fathom actually sleeping with another person every single night. I sleep right in the middle of the bed.

I remember the sole time Curly spent the night here in April (the last time I had sex – blah!), I woke up out of my drunken stupor in the morning to find myself literally on the edge of my bed. One deep breath probably would’ve been enough to send me to the floor. He’d just totally splayed himself out right in the middle of my bed like it was his. I found that amusing. I guess he’s used to being single too.

I’m sure that idea will probably change if I ever fall in love with someone. I really am an affectionate person. I like to be around and touch and play with my men. I don’t see the separate bedrooms thing really happening. I don’t know why I even say it.

I definitely want kids. I guess I’m starting to feel my biological clock ticking away. I read in this month’s Marie Claire that 90% of a woman’s eggs are gone by the time she’s 30. Yikes! At the very least, if I can’t find a husband, I suppose that a guy with good genes will do for childbearing purposes.

Really though, I do like the idea of having a family. Being at Leah’s house yesterday made that more clear. I kinda do want the husband and the home and the children and all that. My chances just aren’t looking so good at this point. I’ve never even been in a serious relationship. Eh…

Well, there’s always…

Yeah! 🙂

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