The Crush

I seem to have developed a completely-out-the-blue crush on one of the higher-ups at my job. I’ve never met him, never even ran across him in passing that I can remember. I just know who he is because he’s one of our VIPs. I’ve only seen him in pictures.

A couple of weeks ago, out of nowhere, it occurred to me that I wouldn’t mind screwing his brains out one of these days. I don’t know where it came from. It did start around the time that things started going sour between me and my most recent ex, Mr. Smooth, so maybe it’s some sort of fantasy rebounding thing. Something to distract my mind and body from craving Mr. Smooth. I don’t know.

The funny thing is, he and Mr. Smooth are good friends. Nothing screams “Fuck you!” to an ex who hurt you like screwing one of his hot friends. Maybe that’s part of the appeal too.

More than anything though, the crush (we’ll call him “Professor“) is just simply hot. I don’t know much about him other than he’s: of Italian heritage, in his late 30’s, has dark/sandy-ish brown looking hair in sort of a crew cut, has deep brown eyes, and is obviously accomplished (he is one of the bosses after all – even higher up than Mr. Smooth, who’s a boss himself). He appears to be married, but that’s no problem for my purposes.

But alas, he probably doesn’t even know that I exist. And I don’t know where he likes to hang out or anything like that, so there’s not much chance of me ever “coincidentally” running into him outside of work. I’ve never even run into him AT work. There’s not much chance of that either. He’s a big man in charge, I’m just a lowly pawn. So for now all I can do is fantasize. Fantasies never let you down at least. Realities always end up disappointing you. My mental version of him is awesome. Who knows if I’d still be feeling him if I ever met him, talked to him, or fucked him.

*Sigh*

He’s totally dreamy though. I love an older man. Especially a man in charge. ESPECIALLY a man who’s my boss. Few things are hotter than having a man who you have to respect and obey at work with his head between your thighs, licking like there’s no tomorrow. At that point the tables have turned and they’re the ones submitting – you’re the boss.

Not to mention, the necessary secrecy of any romance with a man in charge is a serious turn-on as well. Whether he’s married or not, it’s not exactly something you want to be made common knowledge around the job. People will assume you’re getting preferential treatment somehow because you’re screwing a boss and complain and that might have negative professional implications for you and/or him. And hey, maybe you are or maybe you aren’t, but that’s just for you and him to know, and for everyone else to guess. I love keeping a naughty secret.

Of course, work romances that end badly are another story. When it’s someone you still have to see regularly, that’s not fun. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Lesson learned. As long as it’s someone I don’t work directly for, or with, I’m good though.

It’s never about screwing to get ahead though. That’s not my thing. Anyone I get involved with, it’s because I’m into HIM as a whole, not specifically his title. I’m educated, well-spoken, and sharp…I don’t need to lower myself like that. This job IS all about who you know and who you blow, but I can get where I wanna go without using my kitten as leverage. Now, if I were involved with someone with some pull who OFFERED to help me out professionally, I wouldn’t refuse it. But I’ve never asked. I’ve never expected. It’s not about that.

Mr. Smooth claimed he thought I was smart and would help me, but when it came time to pull the trigger, he reneged. We weren’t on the best of terms at that point, admittedly, but I figure if he had really been serious about seeing promise in me in terms of my career, then it shouldn’t have mattered that things between us had started to go south romantically. But it is what it is.

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