I guess it’s about time I mention the latest and greatest, since it’s *seeming* like it might actually go somewhere. But if history is any indication, as soon as I feel like that might be so then shit will hit the fan and everything will crumble to pieces.

In any case, back in the early part of September I started talking to a gent I’ll call Boomer. We clicked pretty instantly. To the point where after exactly 8 days of talking, we both decided that I should go visit him in Dallas 6 weeks from that point while he is there for a couple of months to train for a new job.

And despite the fact that I’d never met him (and had no feasible possibility of meeting him beforehand since he lives over 1,000 miles from me as it is), had only talked to him for a little over a week, and was taking a gamble on booking a trip 6 weeks in the future when who knows if we’d still be talking then or whether one or both would lose interest…I figured, Sure, why not? Well, you know, probably because JAPAN…that’s why not. But when have I ever let common sense stop me?

Besides, I had a work situation brewing that was stressing me out, and this gave me something to focus on and look forward to while I was navigating through that maelstrom. A thin-skinned, idiotic, incompetent bastard of a superior had taken it upon himself to try to make my work life a living hell because he’s a buffoon, and it was taking its toll on me. (Imagine my delight when he got fired. Karma really is a bitch.)

Anyway, at least this endeavor would be way less pricey and way less travel time. And I booked my own separate room this time. I did learn SOMETHING.

Our original weekend was supposed to be November 2 – 4. But that was before he had even started the training and figured he’d be off on weekends for the most part. It turns out that wasn’t the case and in early October I actually had to adjust the trip because he’d be working that weekend. So we ended up moving it up to October 29 – 31. It worked out better that way anyway because I had originally booked a random-ish hotel since he didn’t know where he would be staying. The second time around I was able to book the same hotel. He did offer at that point for me to stay in his room with him, but I told him maybe for the first time around, this might be better so I don’t feel like I’m invading his space. (In reality, I just wanted my own room to be able to retreat to in case anything went sideways.) He was cool with that but said that he just felt like he should offer. That was sweet of him.

On October 29th I adjusted my work schedule so I could make an early afternoon flight and landed in Dallas a little before 4:00 pm. He had work that day and wasn’t sure when he’d get out, but he told me to text him when I landed and he’d possibly be able to pick me up from the airport. It turns out he was able to and so I walked right outside of the door and into his arms after retrieving my bag.

So cute! He looks better in person. Not so much in that he looks that different, but in that way that pictures don’t really do him justice, I should say. In pictures he actually looks kind of like a teenage boy in a way (he’s 39), but in person his face is definitely much more mature looking, even if still boyish. 6’4″, blonde hair, blue eyes. Handsome guy.

When we got to the hotel I got a room on the same floor and it just so happened we were just down the hall from each other, which worked out well in the end. He had mentioned in the car that he was going to “see me to my room so I can get settled” but I could tell in his tone it was actually more of a “so he can bang my brains out” kind of thing, and that’s exactly what happened. We step in and I put my bags down and before you know it we’re naked in bed. And that was totally okay with me.

We got 2 rounds of sex in and then I started unpacking and asking what was up for the night. He made dinner plans for us at an Italian place, so after a little bit of canoodling he left for his room to get ready and I showered and readied in mine (definitely where separate rooms came in handy).

I met him in his room and we drove to the restaurant and had a fabulous dinner. He picked a good spot. We got back to the hotel and decided to hit the hot tub. But not before we banged once again in my room when he walked me there so I could change into my swimsuit. I washed up and changed and met him back in his room, from where we proceeded out to the hot tub together with fresh drinks from the stash in his room. We sat out for a little while but it was pretty warm temperature wise so not the most comfy of hot tub experiences (I prefer when it’s cooler outside for the contrast). We soon decided our time might best be spent in the room, so we called it quits after 45 minutes or so. I changed into some silky night clothes I bought in green in his honor (favorite color) and we drank some more in his room before sexing ourselves to sleep.

The next morning started with a round of sex and then breakfast in the lobby. Then we just chilled around in his room for most of the morning. He was kind of doing his own thing trying to make arrangements to get his car fixed (he had gotten into a minor accident the week before). I let him be and lounged on the couch watching horrific reality shows that he later playfully made fun of me watching – like Catfish and Airplane Repo. But there were only so many channels, what’s a girl to do? (He drew the line at Maury, though.)

Even though there were intermittent spans of time where we’d sit in silence, it felt comfortable and natural. Not awkward. If he was on the couch with me I’d drape my legs over him or try to at least maintain some physical contact but I didn’t feel the need to run my mouth every second although there were moments where I would wonder if the silences are “natural” or if we just don’t have anything to talk about. It seemed more like the former.

These extended first dates can get kind of tricky because most first dates are only several hours at the most. In a situation like this where you’re going to be spending 48 straight hours with someone, it has to be expected that every single moment can’t be filled with conversation and activity. Being “On” for 48 straight hours would be exhausting. And that’s perfectly okay.

Around noon we ventured out to a barbecue spot for lunch and then he stopped at a bank to get cash out to fix his car. That night he had made us reservations at a Five Sixty,  a spot at the top of Dallas’ Reunion Tower, but dinner wasn’t until 8:30 pm so we spent most of the afternoon after lunch once again just shooting the breeze in his room. By late afternoon I had started drinking, and he joined in. We got a couple of rounds in before going to get ready. 

I dolled myself up and met up with him and we took an Uber to dinner, which was fabulous. Our waiter was awesome, which prompted me to ask for his manager at the end of the meal to tell the manager how much I enjoyed the meal and the waiter. I figure people are always quick to comment with complaints and dislikes, but we should remember to give praise when it is due as well.

We weren’t quite ready to call it a night at the end of dinner, but we decided to utilize the hotel bar for drinks in lieu of venturing elsewhere in the city. So we Ubered back to the hotel and had a couple of drinks in the lobby bar before going back up to his room and having sex on the floor. And then to bed we went.

On the 31st I had to check out of my room, but my flight wasn’t until the early evening, so when I woke up I went to my room to pack my things and haul everything back to Boomer’s room. Then I checked out and thus his room was my domicile for the remainder. We ate breakfast in the lobby again and then he firmed up plans for getting his car fixed, which his brother-in-law (sister’s husband) was helping with. Luckily for him I was there because he ended up putting me to work. Close to lunch time we drove to Enterprise so he could pick up a rental. We left there for a brief lunch and then drove back to Enterprise so I could retrieve his car and drive it to the car repair shop (about 30 minutes away) with him in the rental.

I must admit, I was slightly nervous to drive his car because it’s bigger than my own, I’m on unfamiliar territory (a different state, no less), and it was raining cats and dogs and there were accidents and backups everywhere once we hit the highway. My GPS was a champ and eventually redirected me from the highway we were on due to an extreme backup. Boomer called and asked where I was going and I told him the highway looked totally blocked and that he should get off too. I actually ended up beating him to the place by 5 minutes or so, with car in tact. I had a minor occurrence of skidding at one point on the highway but it was easily brought back under control. It just shook me up a little bit because I figure it would not make so much of a good impression if I crashed his car. On the way for it to get fixed.

He met me at the place, made the arrangements for his car, and then we went back to the hotel and just chilled out watching TV for the 2 hours or so we had left. Around 3 pm we left for the airport so I could make my 5 pm flight. He thanked me for coming out and we kissed goodbye.

And there officially began the period of “Will I hear from him or won’t I?” “Did he like me or will I get the ‘Thanks but no thanks’?”

To date, it seems like all is normal. We’ve been talking pretty normally and we’ve tenuously alluded to me coming to visit him when he gets back home, but nothing is set in stone yet.

But we shall see.

And Again…

Rusty continues to mystify. I have no idea what his motive or end game is.

Since the last entry about his antics, I continued trying to figure him out some, including a whole smattering of tipsy texts that next Sunday Funday, but did not get much of a response, go figure. And maybe he was ignoring me purposely or maybe he was busy because he’s deployed, but to be honest, none of those tipsy texts really deserved a response anyway.

But then I started thinking about everything in the second week of October and I decided that I really didn’t like the way he treated me. Something about that “ex” screenshot he sent me just suddenly came to surface and started to annoy me. Like, dude, I really don’t really need to be texting you, if that’s what you prefer.

And I decided that he can go to hell, quite frankly. And I told him so, in so many words, signifying my intent to leave him be:

“I do not like the way you treat me”

“You are condescending and belittling and frankly, quite mean”

That was all she wrote. I wasn’t expecting a response and didn’t get one for the next week or so and I was okay with that.

That was October 9th. Exactly a week later, on the evening of October 16, I get a text from the same unknown phone number from September 11, opening with some dumb GIF, which is definitely his M.O.:


And there we were again. Me calling him out specifically by name; him being evasive and misleading about his identity and just clearly trying to screw with me. Then nothing after that. I sent Rusty’s real number several texts basically asking for him to stop doing that shit. He never answered.

But then the fun continues last night. I get a text from a new mystery phone number. From California. I look it up in my text records…none to be found. So I’ve never texted with this number at all. Gee, I wonder who it could be?

And the opening text is a link to a recent aviation incident and mystery texter telling me it’s a member of his old squadron. I ask who it is even though I already know from that phrase and the link alone.

So we once again embark on this cat and mouse game of me just trying to get him to admit it’s him and to stop texting me from all these fake numbers. He goes a little further this time in confirming his identity, although not outright, and insists that the current phone number now is a “deployment number” and that we’ve texted on it before (we haven’t – I’d know).

I ask why he keeps insisting on texting me when he seemed to make it clear he wanted me to leave him alone. He answers with a lot of “Huh” and “What?” as if he just can’t in the world comprehend what I’m talking about.

He eventually tells me to “stop being offensive and be nice” and I remind him that he didn’t want me to be nice to him, proving that that time I was a mere 5 miles away from him and he pointedly ignored me for a full week. He answers that he was “in the muddle of being crushed at work.” Oh, and I was had been acting “cray.” Of course.

Gee, what a breakthrough. Finally, after 3.5 months, he actually bothers to address the subject and give me an explanation (albeit not a good one).

But although he does admit this was him at last on this new number, he still insisted the other number wasn’t him. Which is a definite lie.

Not really sure what he’s going for here.


Rusty only continues to be more enigmatic. I still don’t really know what his deal is, and I’m to the point now where it doesn’t even seem as if it’s even worth trying to figure out anymore. Or if there really is anything worthwhile to figure out.

I dutifully continued on in silence at our resurrected Words With Friends rivalry which suddenly resumed itself in the last week of August after almost 5 weeks of no contact. I was initially content with just letting “us” continue to exist in that realm solely and really did make a novel effort to maintain that course of action (even though I was confused and had many questions)…until I got drunk at the beach over Labor Day weekend.

It was around that time that I sent him some testy texts to remind him to take his turn. He didn’t initially respond, but no worries because I doubled down by eventually following up with a selfie I took of myself and my friend Carly with the declaration: Fuck you because I look good. (Which I did.)

Surprisingly, I eventually got some feedback via text that Rusty had “liked” the image. I told him that that was surprising, to which he only responded with one of his notorious shrug emojis. Wtf, dude?

A few days later, when the Colin Kaepernick Nike ad broke into the news and memes started popping up left and right to make fun of it, I happened to send him one. He eventually sent one back. And from there commenced several days of us just trading funny memes back and forth.

Then on September 11th, of all days, something weird happened. In the early afternoon, I got a text from a random number – “Whats up.” I answered “Whats up” in turn, all the while checking back through my text message archives in my email to see if I could find out who it was. I found nothing in my text archives from that phone number going back several years. Hm. I looked up the area code to find that it was a Wisconsin-based number. Weirder still, as I don’t know anyone from there that I could recall.

When I received a reply asking me where I was at at the moment, I chalked it up to it being a wrong number and suggested so. This person only declared that they had the right number and then sent me a picture of myself saying “You’re hot.”

Yet this mystery person refused to identify themselves after I asked several times, so I immediately sensed some shenanigans afoot and told them quite bluntly several times to stop fucking texting me. Said person only proceeded to call me crazy and to spring forth with laughing-face emojis.

My immediate thoughts, in terms of the few people I could think of that would do something like this, was that perhaps it was Ben. I haven’t talked to him in ages, and it didn’t seem fathomable that he would suddenly appear out of the blue to do something like that, but in terms of the kind of personality type that I know for a fact likes to fuck with people with no rhyme or reason, that’s all Ben, all day.

But no sooner had I pointedly asked if it was in fact Ben did it hit me that the writing style reminded me an awful lot of Rusty. Specifically, it was the fact that this person kept asking me things like “What are you doing rn” or “Where are you at rn” that immediately called Rusty to mind. “Rn” is an abbreviation that Rusty has regularly used in our text conversations to denote the phrase “right now” and is the ONLY person I have texted with in recent memory who using that specific terminology. On top of that, when I mentioned the Gaslamp district, said mystery person implied a familiarity with it that could only be attributed to someone who was familiar with San Diego – like Rusty.

But once I had mentioned Ben’s name, mystery texter took that and ran with it, trying to insist several times that it was in fact Ben. Yet when I pointedly declared several times that I think it’s actually Rusty,  this person ignored any mention of that. The last thing I heard from this number, after I once again said I think it’s Rusty, was “You’ve lost your mind.” And that was that.

The next day, I painstakingly analyzed the mystery number’s text patterns against previous texts I’ve gotten from Rusty to compare them, and I become 95% certain, just based off Rusty’s text patterns, emoji usage, syntax, etc. that the mystery texter was him. I just couldn’t fathom what his purpose was.

Over the next couple of days, I asked Rusty through his real phone number if that had been him. He finally answered one night to tell me that I’m “still cray” and then said he didn’t know what I was talking about. Yet lo and behold, after 2 months of the silent treatment toward me, and coincidentally only after I accused him of being said mystery texter, he suddenly starts responding to my texts and we have somewhat of a real conversation again. Hm. It was nothing astoundingly productive besides him continuing to call me crazy, even though “at least I am pretty.” I warned him to be careful – that that’s the nicest thing he has said to me in months so he might be getting soft.

I then suggested that maybe it is actually him who is crazy. He surprisingly affirmed that suggestion and asked if I agreed. I told him I think he is a little crazy, to be honest. He asked why. I told him I think he knows why. He wanted my perception, so I said I would think most events since around July 2 would cover it. He said the same could go for me. I told him that whatever I said or did was not to purposely hurt him, but I cannot say the same for him. He laughed it off. We had somewhat of a more serious conversation about some things that had been going on at my place of business, and from there, and since then, he has been more responsive through text, even if intermittently.

I’ve said things to him along the lines of how, as I still do think he was the mystery texter, that maybe that was his way of trying to get me to talk to him because he can’t readily admit he was sorry for everything. I told him pointedly the other night that I think he has missed me.

He either doesn’t respond to any attempts at any type of analytical or real conversation or laughs everything off. Or tries to be belittling and condescending such as when he responded with this:



I point out that he has been texting me as well; he exclaims that I have sent the majority of the texts out of the last 100 or so we have exchanged. Okay? I’m not the one texting you from fake numbers, dude. He still insists that wasn’t him (but I know it was).

Apparently he is deployed somewhere at the moment. I tell him to let me know if he needs anything. That was 2 days ago when we last talked. I haven’t said anything to him since and really don’t plan to.

He finally made a move against me in our Words With Friends rematch that I started 10 or so days ago, so I guess it’s business as usual.

I really don’t understand him.