So, What Had Happened Was…

Oh, right. I come here all set to entertain and amuse with the news of my latest impending love disaster and I realize I kind of left a cliffhanger with my last significant oneBoomer.

Boomer did stay in touch. He was interested, clearly. We even got around one night to agreeing to actually try out an an actual relationship. Albeit, an open one. Open-ish. He’s 2,000 miles away and I’m no fool.

I saw him again in mid-December. He was on a layover in a town 4 hours from me. We planned it a few weeks ahead. I drove up to see him on a Friday evening until early Saturday morning. We had about 11 hours together.

Then in January, I used a travel credit I had to fly to Georgia for about 12 hours.

Some time after that, we were talking and he decided a relationship really wouldn’t work out, that we should keep things “light and fun.” And that was fair, I couldn’t really argue with it. He’s too far away, he’s not really getting a lot of trips to the East Coast, and when he is off and back home he wants to spend time with his kids.

So, that was disappointing to hear but I understood because it’s frankly, just…right. He’s either home 2,000 miles away or otherwise anywhere else 2,000 (or more) miles away so that severely hinders the amount of time we could spend together. It is what it is, that’s just the way it worked out.

Despite that, in early February (I think), I drove up to the same 4-hours-away town again to see him. Very impromptu. He only told me a few hours before getting there that he was going to be there. I think he was on “reserve” and just found out or something. Nevertheless, at least this time, though he wasn’t getting in until close to midnight, he didn’t have to leave until the early evening the next day. So that gave us about 18 hours together at least.

But that’s the last time I saw him. And as it stands now, we just talk every once in a while. And that’s only when he runs across my mind (which is not often at this point) and I happen to wonder what he’s up to. Otherwise I don’t hear from him on his own and my enthusiasm at having to initiate conversation is waning.

No hard feelings or anything, though. If he texts me, I’ll answer. I’m just not going to be hard pressed to stay in contact. It was fun while it lasted though.

Japan – Day 4

Day 3

It might be about time I finish the story of this disastrous trip. It’s only been over 3 years at this point. So, Day 4…

I woke up on what looked to be an auspicious, sunny day to find Reed in his flight suit and getting ready for work. This was the one day he couldn’t get out of working because he had to go in to train.

Now, before my visit when we had discussed this particular day, he told me I was free to hang around the house, or he could instruct me on how to get around on the train so I could get out of the house while he was gone…whatever I wanted to do.

As we were discussing it that morning, he was telling me about some shopping center that he thought I might like that was one train stop away from the train station nearest his house.

I followed him downstairs while he fixed his coffee or whatever to get more detailed instructions about how to get to it, as I was a little intimidated trying to take on a solo adventure. My previous international adventures involved English-speaking or Spanish-speaking countries where even though I might not be fluent (in the case of Spanish), I can still read and speak it a little bit. Or pretty much decipher any unknowns more accurately in any Latin-based language as opposed to Japanese.

As I asked him questions to make sure I understood everything he was telling me accurately, I could sense some irritation on his end. He was clearly annoyed with me. I asked him what was wrong and he snapped that I was asking him too many questions.

Oooookay…here we go with this shit again.

Having grown increasingly tired of his moodiness and snark over the past several days – these random bouts of attitude for seemingly no reason – I finally just had it up to *here* and asked him what the fuck his problem is.

The conversation that ensued was not a good one. He basically told me that he didn’t see this going anywhere because even when he got back to the US, he would still be 2,000 miles away from me. (Okay, we knew this beforehand.)

Oh! And apparently I looked “bigger” in person than in my pictures. Ummm…what?

One thing I do not do, and have never done, is catfish, kitten-fish, fat-fish, or what have you. I sent Reed selfies, videos, sugar, spice, and everything nice showing exactly what I looked like. So I was very taken aback by that comment. Granted, I was about 15 pounds heavier then than I am now, but now I’m thinner thanks to the subsequent complex that that very comment gave me. So maybe some good came out of it.

Soon enough though, after a bit of back and forth, we got down to the real crux of the issue: Reed’s ex.

As it turned out (and maybe I should’ve ascertained this before going halfway around the world – will be good to know for next time), Reed had broken up with some Marine Corps girl in May of that year. He hadn’t really been home a lot in the time since then and my visit, and in preparing for me to come, it was the first time he had the chance to clean out the remnants of her belongings from his house. That apparently brought up some residual feelings.

Ah…so that explains his apparent aggravation with my very presence that had been rearing its ugly head intermittently throughout our time together: he still has feelings for his ex and I’m not her. And in learning later what she looked like, his “big” comment made a little more sense too. She was very lanky. But frankly, not pretty at all. An awkward looking redhead with a big nose. But hey, if that’s what you’re into, then who am I to judge?

Soon after this conversation with all of its horrid revelations, Reed had to go to work. Suddenly, funnily enough, I didn’t feel like going anywhere so I resigned myself to a day of lounging on the couch, drinking Chu-His, and thinking about where exactly things went awry in my life to find myself in a foreign country in the house of a man who apparently didn’t want me there.

Though Reed had departed on tense terms, he eventually started texting me on Line throughout the day to check on me and see what I was doing.

He came home that evening with a bottle of wine for me, seemingly in the spirit of being conciliatory. I thought that was sweet of him.

That night, the plan was to go to his favorite neighborhood sushi spot where he was tight with the owner. Reed grabbed a bottle of Tullamore D.E.W. to present to the owner and we set off for the place, which was a 10-minute walk from his house. Despite the events of that morning, the atmosphere between us was normal and pleasant. No tension, no arguing. Neither of us brought anything up.

We got to the spot and were sat by the owner, who then proceeded to regale us with plate after plate of the most exquisite sushi I’ve ever had in my life, to include squid and whale varieties, which I had never had before.

Reed had made plans with one of his squadron mates to meet him there, and he did after a little bit. This appeared to be a place that his squadron frequented, as the owner had up various illustrations and pictures of jets that were signed by what I’m assuming are some of the pilots. The owner was very pleasant and his sushi was fantastic. Reed’s colleague was nice and I had a good time.

The owner delighted in the bottle of Tullamore D.E.W. that Reed brought and partook in a bit of it, but the majority was actually polished off by Reed himself. After we were done with sushi, the three of us headed over to a bar around the corner where we were supposed to meet up with his squadron mate’s girlfriend, but she ended up not coming.

Reed was drunk by then and only got drunker at the bar. But at least he was being nice. The only time he kind of snapped at me was when I could not stop being fascinated with a jar in the style of a Japanese cat sitting on the bar. He told me if I liked it all that much he would just buy it for me, but in a tone that suggested that he was tired of me being googly-eyed over it. But he made up for that by making me laugh by miming the pose of the cat repeatedly.

Reed was pissy drunk by the time we left and the walk back to his house was quite harrowing, especially with him stumbling and almost falling on the train tracks across from his house. Which a train travels along every 10 minutes or so. I was scared I would have to drag him across the tracks if he fell. But he managed to make it back to his house in all his drunken glory and we both passed out.

All-in-all, despite the events of that morning, it was a decent night and I had a good time.

Boomer

I guess it’s about time I mention the latest and greatest, since it’s *seeming* like it might actually go somewhere. But if history is any indication, as soon as I feel like that might be so then shit will hit the fan and everything will crumble to pieces.

In any case, back in the early part of September I started talking to a gent I’ll call Boomer. We clicked pretty instantly. To the point where after exactly 8 days of talking, we both decided that I should go visit him in Dallas 6 weeks from that point while he is there for a couple of months to train for a new job.

And despite the fact that I’d never met him (and had no feasible possibility of meeting him beforehand since he lives over 1,000 miles from me as it is), had only talked to him for a little over a week, and was taking a gamble on booking a trip 6 weeks in the future when who knows if we’d still be talking then or whether one or both would lose interest…I figured, Sure, why not? Well, you know, probably because JAPAN…that’s why not. But when have I ever let common sense stop me?

Besides, I had a work situation brewing that was stressing me out, and this gave me something to focus on and look forward to while I was navigating through that maelstrom. A thin-skinned, idiotic, incompetent bastard of a superior had taken it upon himself to try to make my work life a living hell because he’s a buffoon, and it was taking its toll on me. (Imagine my delight when he got fired. Karma really is a bitch.)

Anyway, at least this endeavor would be way less pricey and way less travel time. And I booked my own separate room this time. I did learn SOMETHING.

Our original weekend was supposed to be November 2 – 4. But that was before he had even started the training and figured he’d be off on weekends for the most part. It turns out that wasn’t the case and in early October I actually had to adjust the trip because he’d be working that weekend. So we ended up moving it up to October 29 – 31. It worked out better that way anyway because I had originally booked a random-ish hotel since he didn’t know where he would be staying. The second time around I was able to book the same hotel. He did offer at that point for me to stay in his room with him, but I told him maybe for the first time around, this might be better so I don’t feel like I’m invading his space. (In reality, I just wanted my own room to be able to retreat to in case anything went sideways.) He was cool with that but said that he just felt like he should offer. That was sweet of him.

On October 29th I adjusted my work schedule so I could make an early afternoon flight and landed in Dallas a little before 4:00 pm. He had work that day and wasn’t sure when he’d get out, but he told me to text him when I landed and he’d possibly be able to pick me up from the airport. It turns out he was able to and so I walked right outside of the door and into his arms after retrieving my bag.

So cute! He looks better in person. Not so much in that he looks that different, but in that way that pictures don’t really do him justice, I should say. In pictures he actually looks kind of like a teenage boy in a way (he’s 39), but in person his face is definitely much more mature looking, even if still boyish. 6’4″, blonde hair, blue eyes. Handsome guy.

When we got to the hotel I got a room on the same floor and it just so happened we were just down the hall from each other, which worked out well in the end. He had mentioned in the car that he was going to “see me to my room so I can get settled” but I could tell in his tone it was actually more of a “so he can bang my brains out” kind of thing, and that’s exactly what happened. We step in and I put my bags down and before you know it we’re naked in bed. And that was totally okay with me.

We got 2 rounds of sex in and then I started unpacking and asking what was up for the night. He made dinner plans for us at an Italian place, so after a little bit of canoodling he left for his room to get ready and I showered and readied in mine (definitely where separate rooms came in handy).

I met him in his room and we drove to the restaurant and had a fabulous dinner. He picked a good spot. We got back to the hotel and decided to hit the hot tub. But not before we banged once again in my room when he walked me there so I could change into my swimsuit. I washed up and changed and met him back in his room, from where we proceeded out to the hot tub together with fresh drinks from the stash in his room. We sat out for a little while but it was pretty warm temperature wise so not the most comfy of hot tub experiences (I prefer when it’s cooler outside for the contrast). We soon decided our time might best be spent in the room, so we called it quits after 45 minutes or so. I changed into some silky night clothes I bought in green in his honor (favorite color) and we drank some more in his room before sexing ourselves to sleep.

The next morning started with a round of sex and then breakfast in the lobby. Then we just chilled around in his room for most of the morning. He was kind of doing his own thing trying to make arrangements to get his car fixed (he had gotten into a minor accident the week before). I let him be and lounged on the couch watching horrific reality shows that he later playfully made fun of me watching – like Catfish and Airplane Repo. But there were only so many channels, what’s a girl to do? (He drew the line at Maury, though.)

Even though there were intermittent spans of time where we’d sit in silence, it felt comfortable and natural. Not awkward. If he was on the couch with me I’d drape my legs over him or try to at least maintain some physical contact but I didn’t feel the need to run my mouth every second although there were moments where I would wonder if the silences are “natural” or if we just don’t have anything to talk about. It seemed more like the former.

These extended first dates can get kind of tricky because most first dates are only several hours at the most. In a situation like this where you’re going to be spending 48 straight hours with someone, it has to be expected that every single moment can’t be filled with conversation and activity. Being “On” for 48 straight hours would be exhausting. And that’s perfectly okay.

Around noon we ventured out to a barbecue spot for lunch and then he stopped at a bank to get cash out to fix his car. That night he had made us reservations at a Five Sixty, a spot at the top of Dallas’ Reunion Tower, but dinner wasn’t until 8:30 pm so we spent most of the afternoon after lunch once again just shooting the breeze in his room. By late afternoon I had started drinking, and he joined in. We got a couple of rounds in before going to get ready. 

I dolled myself up and met up with him and we took an Uber to dinner, which was fabulous. Our waiter was awesome, which prompted me to ask for his manager at the end of the meal to tell the manager how much I enjoyed the meal and the waiter. I figure people are always quick to comment with complaints and dislikes, but we should remember to give praise when it is due as well.

We weren’t quite ready to call it a night at the end of dinner, but we decided to utilize the hotel bar for drinks in lieu of venturing elsewhere in the city. So we Ubered back to the hotel and had a couple of drinks in the lobby bar before going back up to his room and having sex on the floor. And then to bed we went.

On the 31st I had to check out of my room, but my flight wasn’t until the early evening, so when I woke up I went to my room to pack my things and haul everything back to Boomer’s room. Then I checked out and thus his room was my domicile for the remainder. We ate breakfast in the lobby again and then he firmed up plans for getting his car fixed, which his brother-in-law (sister’s husband) was helping with. Luckily for him I was there because he ended up putting me to work. Close to lunch time we drove to Enterprise so he could pick up a rental. We left there for a brief lunch and then drove back to Enterprise so I could retrieve his car and drive it to the car repair shop (about 30 minutes away) with him in the rental.

I must admit, I was slightly nervous to drive his car because it’s bigger than my own, I’m on unfamiliar territory (a different state, no less), and it was raining cats and dogs and there were accidents and backups everywhere once we hit the highway. My GPS was a champ and eventually redirected me from the highway we were on due to an extreme backup. Boomer called and asked where I was going and I told him the highway looked totally blocked and that he should get off too. I actually ended up beating him to the place by 5 minutes or so, with car in tact. I had a minor occurrence of skidding at one point on the highway but it was easily brought back under control. It just shook me up a little bit because I figure it would not make so much of a good impression if I crashed his car. On the way for it to get fixed.

He met me at the place, made the arrangements for his car, and then we went back to the hotel and just chilled out watching TV for the 2 hours or so we had left. Around 3 pm we left for the airport so I could make my 5 pm flight. He thanked me for coming out and we kissed goodbye.

And there officially began the period of “Will I hear from him or won’t I?” “Did he like me or will I get the ‘Thanks but no thanks’?”

To date, it seems like all is normal. We’ve been talking pretty normally and we’ve tenuously alluded to me coming to visit him when he gets back home, but nothing is set in stone yet.

But we shall see.